I have a lot to write about, couldn’t even decide where to start from.. so I thought I will start with a few answers to the “why”. When people read my story they should understand where I’m coming from.
Awakening.. a big word. Everyone says once you had an awakening, you can’t go back, you can’t un-awaken yourself. Well, whoever said this, was definitely lacking knowledge.. because I have seen myself and my Twinflame cycling back so many times.. everyone who belongs to my Twinflame collective has been going through these cycles.
When you start shining in your authenticity. Some people start to admire you, but some people try to steal your shine. Like they try to paint the bulb black so it’s 70 Watts shine reduces to 40 Watts shine. But what if you keep turning it up to 100W then 200W. They are going to be like “oh, it’s too bright, it’s too bright, turn it down”. But when you don’t turn it down, they change their way.
Fear of abandonment is the first thing which is common in both Narcissists and codependent Empaths. It keeps them both stuck in a toxic cycle.
Codependents take abuse only because of their fear of abandonment. Narcissists manipulate people, so when they sense that their mask is falling off and the victim can see it, they escalate the abuse.
Fear of abandonment makes people not trust, not be in touch with their emotions and run away at the slightest chance of abandonment. Where it gets difficult is maybe there is no one even thinking about abandoning the person, but they will keep reacting to their own fear and ruin a stable relationship. It causes a lot of inner turmoil to accept the truth.
This fear makes you feel like even good things are too good to be true. It’s an inner child wound and most of the time it comes from childhood trauma. The person needs to do inner child work, work on self-love and improve the self-talk, replace negative thoughts with rational thoughts & positive affirmations. And sometimes let that fear become real, let someone abandon you, process all your emotions that come after it for once, the fear will be gone. Time heals everything.
I know it’s easier said than done. But a temporary pain can heal your fears for a lifetime. You stayed with this fear for decades and it doesn’t feel good to live in fear. Let’s overcomes it for once and enjoy a happy emotional life.
All the best for your self-love and healing journey. Healing is selfless deed and Universe appreciates & supports everyone who is trying to heal themselves. When you heal, blessings will soon be revealed. Sending you love and light XOXOXO
I keep mentioning about cord cutting, so I thought of explaining how it works.
You can meditate on your own or choose a guided meditation. Guided meditations are mostly about cutting the cord, but some people suggest to do a cord removal and not to just cut it. So I usually take guided meditations and add my own steps in it.
What’s a chord? Whoever you interact with, leaves energy in your body, to be specific your chakras. There are 7 chakras, each symbolises a different energy. So suppose if someone hurt you, that created an energy imbalance in your heart chakram so every emotional trauma is ultimately stored in your body. If someone oppressed you, that’s in throat chakra. If someone tried to manipulate reality and told what your intuition says is not true, it goes into third eye chakra. Gaslighting affects base chakra. If someone doubted your potential, that goes into sacral chakra. And many more, mostly in the lower 6th chakra, 7th chakra is connected to your soul’s higher self, it’s not about other people.
So when you do energy clearing with a particular person, you are trying to remove attachment traumas, wounds or negative energies related to them. For every person you will find that different chakras have been affected. You can feel a tingly feeling or pain in that chakra. Those chakras are having chords to this person, you have to heal it. I usually had 2-3 chakra related to each person.
You imagine yourself surrounded with white healing light asking archangel Michael to do cord cutting ( he is the only angel with a sword, angel of protection). If you want to actually do cord removal, also practice saying ” I forgive you, I love you, please forgive me, I want to end this karmic energy here” or something familiar. Now when you imagine a cord being cut, after that imagine that hole/void & both people being healed with white light.
So cutting cords is only about cutting negative energies with that person, positive energy still remains. Now your relationship with this person could either improve or they would leave. Sometimes Narcissists from your past can sense it, so they come back, but you have to not respond to them one more time. After the cord cutting, you can still have thoughts about that person for few days, but this time it will be resolving your issues and transforming into wisdom.
At a point, I had to cut cords with a lot of people. I have been able to cut cords with more than 10 people in one go ( I remember because I write down all my experiences from meditations. That’s a lot but I am not going to dim my light anymore). Stop, when you start feeling tired. Also, don’t try cord cutting with a twin flame, there are no cords, you are same soul and it’s not going to work and it will hurt more.
Sometimes you will find that there is still some energy left for a person, so do the meditation again. The meditation itself, will reveal more chords to you, with the name of the person it is related to. Sometimes those people won’t even be on your list of toxic relationships. Some people that you have already walked away from, their cords would just be waiting for you to release it.
The reason you find unexpected chords during meditation is because we tend to forget and not realise who manipulated us, but our energy remembers. So your soul will try to reveal it in meditations. You will not find a single negative chord for healthy relationships in your life.
The shadow is about what parts you have rejected of yourself, when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, you decided to keep them in a box inside you but never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you, just to keep you suppressed and in control.
When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of anyone’s disapproval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely, regardless!!. Shadow work is not only about integrating your rejected parts back, but also about looking at your own wounds, accepting them and healing. When you work on your wounds, you also get to see all of your subconscious fears and insecurities. So shadow work is a lot more than anyone can think, it’s the ultimate self-development.
Dark Night of the soul and shadow work come hand in hand. When your soul hits the dark night, you cannot run away from shadow work anymore. It makes you question everything, everything that social conditioning taught you. The journey is painful, but after going through it, you can experience ultimate fulfilment.
Self-acceptance is a must for self-love. And when you accept your shadow also as your own SELF, you become an empowered individual.
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