A letter to people from my past who shamed me that it’s my karma – 2

So I have been posting about how starseeds make soul contracts to be abused or struggle for first half of their life. Because to overcome it, they have to heal themselves and do shadow work. This way they become healers and explore their innate gifts and later they can teach about healing techniques and shadow work to others, second half of thier life.

I have also been posting about how universes uses karma to temper stubborn people who resist change and awakening, to make surrender to healing and inner work and ascension.

But honestly I do not think it was my karma at all, even in past. Otherwise those people won’t be getting any of their karma back right.


I had trauma in my vibration so I attracted assholes to my environment. There was a time when I even felt that I am in a relatively low vibrational place than I should be. This is why I decided to branch off on my own.

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Jealousy makes you blind.

I see more people blinded by jealousy than blinded by love. Now, this is going to trigger a lot of people, so read further only if you are ready to self-reflect.

I don’t feel jealous but being an empath I do feel the energy of jealousy in anyone else on another level. The more haters I struggle with, the more I learn about jealousy.

People think I always had an easy life, they think I always had it easy in my life.. no one tried to understand that behind this brave face there is a fair share of struggles, I have struggled more than anyone knows. It made me strong, that strength makes me look brave and happy, and I do work on healing myself so that pain doesn’t show on my face. It doesn’t mean I was never sad or broken.

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Let your light shine

Inspired by Lisa Nicols.

When you start shining in your authenticity. Some people start to admire you, but some people try to steal your shine. Like they try to paint the bulb black so it’s 70 Watts shine reduces to 40 Watts shine. But what if you keep turning it up to 100W then 200W. They are going to be like “oh, it’s too bright, it’s too bright, turn it down”. But when you don’t turn it down, they change their way.

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A letter to people from my past

Everyone knows how much I have been through but I am finally learning to completely forgive people who did wrong to me. ( Except those who don’t respect women, maybe someday I will learn that too, but not yet).

I walked away from all of you. Some of you are still the same, some of you learnt the lesson and changed, some of you have finally started to self reflect, some of you regret how you hurt me, some of you regret all your past actions and how you kept hurting people, some of you want to restart your life from zero, some of you learnt to work on yourself when you saw me choosing myself over anything.

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Only insecure people try to make others feel insecure

A confident person will never try to make anyone feel insecure, only an insecure person will.

I dealt with so many toxic people that this became my Mantra, I have it by heart. As soon as someone tries to put me down or make me feel bad about myself, I look at them and I see their value in their own eyes. It takes me minutes to realise and I don’t stay in the low state for long. Time & experiences make you tough.

Always have a bigger perspective, a person who tries to make anyone feel insecure, is insecure himself. Anyone who demotivates you, doesn’t appreciate your effort, criticizes you, is doing it because probably he can never even put the effort that you are putting in.

Have this by heart, never think twice on those negative voices, take minutes to self-reflect and learn if there is a possibility to improve, otherwise leave the situation there. Do not waste time arguing with stupid people, set boundaries and leave.

They ain’t paying your bills, you ain’t gotta pay them your mind. ✌🏻 Don’t take that shit & own who you are.

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Lightworkers & Jealousy

While writing this post I had one more title in mind -“Life of a person who has never felt jealousy”. Since being a lightworker I have never experienced jealousy.

This is one more reason that I am always focused on my growth and never comparing myself to others. This is a skill that helps me become a better version of myself every day.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bJjc-gaeUqs&feature=share

In the last three years of working on myself, 2 years went only in accepting that people can get so jealous and do something to harm others. It took me a long time to learn how does it feel to people who can feel jealousy. By the third year, I was already so traumatized that I used to be scared of people getting jealous. Because I just wanted peace, so I started dimming my light. That really put me into so much chaos, felt like God is asking me to stop doing it and then I decided to become my authentic self.

I have seen this whole my life ever since childhood, when I studying for IIT JEE, every time. Some negative people first admire you like anything. And then later they blame you for something stupid or probably enjoy your misfortune. This gives them relief from envy.

This is how big jealousy can get. I meet people every month who are highly jealous and try to trouble me or make fun of me or to traumatize me. They don’t help in time of need and be glad that I am facing some difficulty. This is the effect of jealousy, your soul level goes so low that you can not enjoy other soul being happy.

You can never be happy if you have jealousy in your heart. It burns you from the inside. It took me such a long time to understand all of this because I have never felt jealousy. Never to the point of trying to ruin someone’s life or wishing negative about them. Because I guess being an empath that’s not my nature or maybe because I see the big picture of life or could be because my soul power of purity is quite high relatively ( since I am a lightworker too).

Narcissists also try to make you feel jealous of themselves and others because jealousy is the core emotion they live in. They do it by showing off, trying to make you feel insecure and appreciating/flaunting other people around you. I have faced this so many times, every time I tried to analyse why this negative emotion of lack is rising and what it means, I reached only one conclusion that it’s a manipulation tactic and I didn’t have to do much to burry the emotion, it would just transform. Empaths can generate their own energy and transform the energy directed towards them. The only reason that I felt insecure to even a fraction was because I can absorb other’s energies or their projection upon me, it was never my original self.

Some people who are toxic, still ask me you would have done something, you deserved it, it was your mistake, why would so many people get jealous of only one person. Well I think it’s because probably I am a lightworker and knowing the fact that I got so harmed by others ( Lightworkers are meant to go to dark places, to spread light). Which in turn to a Narcissist will feel like why does she get so much attention from others, that also makes them jealous.

The right answer for why did people get jealous of me, I tried to figure it out for long time, I felt everyone was jealous of different things, but now I know the core. Jealousy is at the soul level, because I am a light being.

It’s not always positive attention that a Narcissist enjoys, but negative too. They want to be either the hero and grandiose or victim of everything, they don’t like someone else shining more than them.

Because I started connecting dots for whole my life, I started feeling like maybe it’s true that I am a lightworker. Since lightworkers have to deal with a lot of shit. Don’t worry my story is good. I always had little breakthroughs in some or the other form because I never gave up.

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.

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You Deserve Everything

This is a abundance block that most people have.

I have been a giver my whole life and then even after awakening I was still feeling overwhelmed for what this universe has given me, the gifts, the lovely people, the blessings, the happiness and everything. I was burdening myself with a sense of keep doing something constantly so that I can pay back to this world. Which I am still going to do, I still have a sense of purpose because it makes me myself, but I have now realised everyone’s first purpose is to live life to the fullest.

Any God that you believe in, it answers your prayers, it gives you love, hope, happiness regardless. You just need to be you, your authentic self and you don’t have to pay back to him for what you have received. You got it because you already deserve it.

It took me years to realise that I deserve respect, I deserve love, I deserve to be me, I deserved to be happy, I deserve to have right people and relationships in my life, I deserve success, I deserve appreciation, I deserve everything. And then it took a moment of spiritual realisation to know that whatever I deserve, I deserve it by just being me, I don’t have to have a sense burden to pay back to the world.

So every human being, deserves everything. Love to be the most. Everyone deserves it. Stop feeling unloved, non-deserving, un-lovable, people who love you, they love for who you are. Stop trying to make people stay in your life by keep giving, those who love you will anyway stay. You are enough, just by being yourself.

You are life, a being of love and you deserve love.
Be open to receiving love.

P.S. This quote doesn’t mean you try to get everything by manipulating, controlling or abusing others in a Narcissistic way.

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