So I just took a personality test and came to know I am an INFJ-A. I started talking about that on my Instagram and ended up talking about my shadow work. I just want to share all of that into a single post on WordPress.
My personality basically is a super empath, according to me. Super Empaths are in touch with their emotions but strong individuals. Always learning, often spiritual, looked up as old souls. They learn to fight the darkness within themselves, accept all parts of themselves and have true self-love.
But you should never mess with an Empath, since they master their light and dark both sides, they can very well understand what a toxic person is capable of doing and INFJs can fight back ten-fold if they want, but they choose not to. They do stand up to abusers because bringing justice is as spiritual as you can be. They win but outgrowing their abusers. When one masters darkness within themselves, they become a Lightworker.
Now I thought people who haven’t done any shadow work for themselves, would be looking at it in a negative way. So I went down explaining more and more. To me, it’s not righteous to compare your light side to someone’s shadow side and be like oh this is a bad person. I don’t think a person who has done shadow work on themselves, is ever going to compare it with someone else’s shadow and be like “mine is better”. Shadow work always humbles you, because now you know what bad could exist within you, why would you look down on anyone else.
Empaths have a weakness to think as if the world is as good as them. They are pure-hearted and have strong moral values. Their dark side is all about having boundaries, walking away from wrong people, detaching from their abusers, standing up for themselves, seeing through people’s intentions and taking their power back. All these things are suppressed in an empath, especially rebels, Lightworkers, INFJs. They are taught by society to suppress their strong personalities.
Because of abuse, boundary violations and gaslighting, all of these start coming to surface. Suddenly they also want to fight back, need justice, the dark emotions of wanting to fight for themselves start coming to the surface. (The emotion is dark only from the victim’s perspective because of their conditioning, it’s not actually dark. Courage is a good thing.) This is when the shadow work kicks in. In some rare cases, it pushes them to a state termed “Supernova”, and that’s when they can play one step ahead of the Narcissists. But the core of an empath is purity, so very fast, their soul starts suffering the consequences. You cannot change who you are on the inside, so then they need to go for therapy, to recover from the guilt/regret/remorse. If an empath learns to fight their urges of battling the abuser, to see it as lessons, work on themselves, stop getting involved in the drama, taking their power back and outgrow their environments to overcome abuse. That’s how an empath becomes a super empath.
The Empath’s dark side is not about doing bad to anyone, but to accept that world is not all good. (Now again, I know my haters would be going like, see Empaths aren’t as pure). Before anyone blames Empaths for anything, remember that they absorb other people’s emotions, the Narcissist’s emotions too. Narcissists abuse their victims in a way, to provoke the victims to step outside of their integrity. That’s why those who overcome Narcissistic abuse, are strong people, spiritual warriors. A super empath is an empowered individual. Those who are still not able to justify, I would ask them to do their own shadow work, before raising a finger.
The shadow is about what parts of yourself you have rejected when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, to be strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, that you decided to keep in a box inside you and to never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you just to keep you suppressed and in control. When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of society’s approval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely regardless.
Empath’s shadow self has power as well as dark emotions, that’s why you think that it’s something bad. But their shadow side still has lesser dark emotions. Unlike other people (mostly in toxic people and Narcissists) who have have Empathy itself in their shadow side, which makes it worse.
It’s easier to think that the Empath, a victim of abuse is a bad person, by looking at their shadow. To me, the shadow side is about negative internal emotions, abuse puts you through that turmoil, but it doesn’t mean they take action based on those negative emotions externally. This is why this world needs more Empathy. Empathy is not the same as sympathy, it makes you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. That is the same reason why Empaths can’t do bad to anyone or hurt anyone, even after integrating their shadow side. Because no matter what their shadow says, Empathy is still the highest emotion of them all.
Without exploring your own dark side, you can not see the dark side of others’. Empaths tend to think everyone is an angel until they get in touch with their own dark side. The shadow work is also related to “the dark night of the soul” phase when going through a spiritual awakening.
I wanted to share an example, that shadow is not all bad. So I shared something about myself. I didn’t have the emotion of jealousy ( competition jealousy for which people try to put someone down for their own good), even in my shadow side. That’s why it was so traumatizing for me to see people getting jealous, back in 2018. It took me a lot to accept that – yes, people do get jealous and you can’t do much about it. This is why, exploring your own shadow side is important, because, without it, I was able to see some things, but not able to accept them.
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The Pretty Smart Techie 