Tag: therapy

My Healing Journey

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After I filed papers in the first company, I was doing better everyday, but I had the stress about finding a job again. When I took a month’s break, I was doing better. When I joined the next job, I was excited to finally start the working again. But that year I lost a lot of friendships, it was some 25-30 friends that I cut off. And if you include normal friends, work colleagues and old work colleagues, the count had was 60.

First month in that job was fine. I had also learnt to manage energetic boundaries with toxic people. Whatever happened in 2018, gave me clarity that I’m an empath and I need to learn how to set boundaries. But soon they started bullying me. And then I started feeling the depression again. It was a different issue but everything reminded me of the past, that I was trying to get away from. Everyday I used to ask myself why are these people jealous of me? I have nothing left, my love is gone, then the humiliation that I faced with harassment. Everyday coming back from office, all I could think about was the last year. I had so much anxiety that I was hiding. All the time I would keep shrinking inside and no one would even get a clue. I had slowly started hating the city. Big cities and selfish people. Generally, people block their heart chakra after heartbreak in romantic relationships, but mine got blocked because of the harassment.

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Myths about Awakening

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I have a lot to write about, couldn’t even decide where to start from.. so I thought I will start with a few answers to the “why”. When people read my story they should understand where I’m coming from.

Awakening.. a big word. Everyone says once you had an awakening, you can’t go back, you can’t un-awaken yourself. Well, whoever said this, was definitely lacking knowledge.. because I have seen myself and my Twinflame cycling back so many times.. everyone who belongs to my Twinflame collective has been going through these cycles.

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What you have is a boundary or a wall?

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Boundaries should be there to protect us, but it should not be a wall. Boundaries are where you define what works and what doesn’t work for you in a relationship. But some people forget boundaries, and use walls.

Walls come from the fear of abandonment, rejection, childhood wounds or past hurt. They make you closed off with a block in the heart chakra. Your wounds don’t let you show the real you, vulnerable you to those you love. Yes, you can still love but you just won’t express it. Because you are emotionally closed off.

Some people, because of child abuse they learnt it very early in life, to never let their guard down, because they don’t feel safe. Wounds make you fear that, if someone saw the real you, they might leave you. But how would you know, until you try.

You need to find the right people, who respect your boundaries and be open with them.

I know someone could still have fears, but let me tell you something. I am an empath, I know how the smallest things can hurt us and that’s why we need to let people know what hurts us, otherwise, they will never know. But at the same time, I don’t keep myself closed off with people who I love and care for. Those who care back for me and allow a safe space for me to open up, know all parts of me.

So what you have is a wall or a boundary?  Being a lightworker I am always reminded to first protect my own energy and then be giving to someone else. To protect yourself and to feel safe, you need people who make you feel accepted when you show your vulnerability. To protect yourself does not mean to always keep a mask on, so that nobody would ever hurt you.

People who have been through abuse need a lot of compassion from their loved ones. We need to make them feel safe. They deserve to hear it from us that “we don’t care what people did to them in the past, we just want to know the real them and love their real self”.

And when they open up, we need to have Empathy. Child abuse plays with your head, sometimes they would blame themselves for things that they weren’t even responsible for. We need to show them what love is.

Before you do anything externally, accept your loved ones for who they are, the real them.

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