I may look cute but I am not weak. I am a multifaceted and multidimensional being, I can shift my energy into being powerful and fearless at any time. Do not test my fury.
I am an old soul and each life I lived different, as a star in the cosmos a spiritual leader and a warrior, as a man, as a woman, as a healer, as a fighter, as a warrior, as an artist, as a leader, as an innocent person, as an oppressed community, I have been admired, abused, tortured, I have been killed in wars, I have died alone, I have lived in peace and I have lived in chaos too. I have been trained well for lifetimes and do not doubt if there’s a still a type that I can not turn into.
I am a combination of light and dark, where light has conquered the darkness, but if the light would want to use the darkness for good, it will.
I chose to incarnate many times to train myself and went through all that pain to become perfect for my job of a Lightworker in this life. I am going to use what I learnt. So do not doubt what I can bring to the table.
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The shadow is about what parts you have rejected of yourself, when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, you decided to keep them in a box inside you but never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you, just to keep you suppressed and in control.
When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of anyone’s disapproval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely, regardless!!. Shadow work is not only about integrating your rejected parts back, but also about looking at your own wounds, accepting them and healing. When you work on your wounds, you also get to see all of your subconscious fears and insecurities. So shadow work is a lot more than anyone can think, it’s the ultimate self-development.
Dark Night of the soul and shadow work come hand in hand. When your soul hits the dark night, you cannot run away from shadow work anymore. It makes you question everything, everything that social conditioning taught you. The journey is painful, but after going through it, you can experience ultimate fulfilment.
Self-acceptance is a must for self-love. And when you accept your shadow also as your own SELF, you become an empowered individual.
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So I just took a personality test and came to know I am an INFJ-A. I started talking about that on my Instagram and ended up talking about my shadow work. I just want to share all of that into a single post on WordPress.
My personality basically is a super empath, according to me. Super Empaths are in touch with their emotions but strong individuals. Always learning, often spiritual, looked up as old souls. They learn to fight the darkness within themselves, accept all parts of themselves and have true self-love.
But you should never mess with an Empath, since they master their light and dark both sides, they can very well understand what a toxic person is capable of doing and INFJs can fight back ten-fold if they want, but they choose not to. They do stand up to abusers because bringing justice is as spiritual as you can be. They win but outgrowing their abusers. When one masters darkness within themselves, they become a Lightworker.
Now I thought people who haven’t done any shadow work for themselves, would be looking at it in a negative way. So I went down explaining more and more. To me, it’s not righteous to compare your light side to someone’s shadow side and be like oh this is a bad person. I don’t think a person who has done shadow work on themselves, is ever going to compare it with someone else’s shadow and be like “mine is better”. Shadow work always humbles you, because now you know what bad could exist within you, why would you look down on anyone else.
Empaths have a weakness to think as if the world is as good as them. They are pure-hearted and have strong moral values. Their dark side is all about having boundaries, walking away from wrong people, detaching from their abusers, standing up for themselves, seeing through people’s intentions and taking their power back. All these things are suppressed in an empath, especially rebels, Lightworkers, INFJs. They are taught by society to suppress their strong personalities.
Because of abuse, boundary violations and gaslighting, all of these start coming to surface. Suddenly they also want to fight back, need justice, the dark emotions of wanting to fight for themselves start coming to the surface. (The emotion is dark only from the victim’s perspective because of their conditioning, it’s not actually dark. Courage is a good thing.) This is when the shadow work kicks in. In some rare cases, it pushes them to a state termed “Supernova”, and that’s when they can play one step ahead of the Narcissists. But the core of an empath is purity, so very fast, their soul starts suffering the consequences. You cannot change who you are on the inside, so then they need to go for therapy, to recover from the guilt/regret/remorse. If an empath learns to fight their urges of battling the abuser, to see it as lessons, work on themselves, stop getting involved in the drama, taking their power back and outgrow their environments to overcome abuse. That’s how an empath becomes a super empath.
The Empath’s dark side is not about doing bad to anyone, but to accept that world is not all good. (Now again, I know my haters would be going like, see Empaths aren’t as pure). Before anyone blames Empaths for anything, remember that they absorb other people’s emotions, the Narcissist’s emotions too. Narcissists abuse their victims in a way, to provoke the victims to step outside of their integrity. That’s why those who overcome Narcissistic abuse, are strong people, spiritual warriors. A super empath is an empowered individual. Those who are still not able to justify, I would ask them to do their own shadow work, before raising a finger.
The shadow is about what parts of yourself you have rejected when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, to be strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, that you decided to keep in a box inside you and to never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you just to keep you suppressed and in control. When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of society’s approval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely regardless.
Empath’s shadow self has power as well as dark emotions, that’s why you think that it’s something bad. But their shadow side still has lesser dark emotions. Unlike other people (mostly in toxic people and Narcissists) who have have Empathy itself in their shadow side, which makes it worse.
It’s easier to think that the Empath, a victim of abuse is a bad person, by looking at their shadow. To me, the shadow side is about negative internal emotions, abuse puts you through that turmoil, but it doesn’t mean they take action based on those negative emotions externally. This is why this world needs more Empathy. Empathy is not the same as sympathy, it makes you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. That is the same reason why Empaths can’t do bad to anyone or hurt anyone, even after integrating their shadow side. Because no matter what their shadow says, Empathy is still the highest emotion of them all.
Without exploring your own dark side, you can not see the dark side of others’. Empaths tend to think everyone is an angel until they get in touch with their own dark side. The shadow work is also related to “the dark night of the soul” phase when going through a spiritual awakening.
I wanted to share an example, that shadow is not all bad. So I shared something about myself. I didn’t have the emotion of jealousy ( competition jealousy for which people try to put someone down for their own good), even in my shadow side. That’s why it was so traumatizing for me to see people getting jealous, back in 2018. It took me a lot to accept that – yes, people do get jealous and you can’t do much about it. This is why, exploring your own shadow side is important, because, without it, I was able to see some things, but not able to accept them.
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Just my science graduate ass trying to explain spirituality 😅 I made a Venn diagram, I have not done any research but I read a lot online.
15-20% of the population is highly sensitive people and not every highly sensitive person is emotionally and energy sensitive. 10-12% of the entire population is Empaths.
There are some 1,44,000 prophesied original Lightworkers, which makes approx 2% of the world’s current population. Some people believe that 1,44,000 is not a number of Lightworkers but a frequency that they vibrate in. And again not every Empath is a Lightworker.
I did not want to leave people who are not Starseeds but have a life purpose of helping people. So with a little flexibility, I drew two circles, for Lightworkers and Starseeds.
I hope this saves my techies from a lot of confusion.
P.S. Just an attempt to explain the theory, this is not a verified data.
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First things first. They are not ghosts. They are people, old souls, who have chosen to take a break from incarnating in a body. They live in a dimension where they are supposed to live.
In soul form they are very authentic, so sometimes in their messages, they can sound very sassy. They don’t like to spoon-feed you, they wait for you to learn lessons on your own, give you slight hints whenever they feel required. They guide you when you are going through big transformational changes in life, and there is probably no-one who can help you understand what’s going on with you. That’s when they want to jump in and help.
Starseeds have a difficult time here, trying to understand humans, trying to accommodate a higher dimension soul into a rigid human body is difficult, so that’s why they guide the way.
When starseeds are given the job to come here, some spirit guides also join as a team. Starseeds are souls who come from a higher dimension(5D) to help humanity on this planet (3D). They are original Lightworkers.
Everyone has spirit guides, they can be your ancestors, deceased loved ones/pets, soulmates, twin-flame, archangels, angels, goddess energies, earth elementals, fairies or even spirit animals. The thing is how open you are to connect with them. When you raise your consciousness, have faith in faith, surrender to surrender. That’s when you are able to connect with them.
Some spirit guides are with you for whole life, some temporary.
Around my spiritual awakening, I started getting interest in Tarot readings, they wanted to help me and guide me through the heavy and fast changes I was going through. It just started showing up on my YouTube timeline and every reading helped me understand what’s going on with me. I thought it’s the tarot reader who is helping, but actually, my spirit guides tried to send me messages through tarot.
In the last 2 months, I have been able to meditate a lot & healed myself. I have developed a bond with them finally the communication is becoming clearer. I have learnt to understand how psychic abilities work for me.
It’s a vast topic, but I tried to explain it in brief. I offer tarot readings, where my spirit guides help me. I use my psychic abilities to give you advice on what to do about your current situation. You can buy tarot readings from me in my Etsy shop or you can DM me on Instagram. I will link it here down below.
Lightworkers are here to be a vessel of light, strategically placed all over the globe to anchor light. It also comes with a lot of troubles. You have to show light to the darkness around you. You also have to fight the darkness within you ( shadow work).
This is why a lot of us Lightworkers, are scapegoated everywhere because we bring light to the truth, we speak the truth. Wherever I have been, school, college, training, jobs, friend groups, if there is someone to be scapegoated, it’s always me.
Because I can’t just sit there and see something wrong happen, nor can I conform to the social conditioning. This triggers people, actually, it’s more than that, I injure their egos and they start scapegoating me.
Scapegoating means you are always blamed for whatever bad happens, cornered, isolated, gossiped about, made to feel like you are the problem. Everyone wants to dump their shit on you ( rejected parts of themselves). So that they can tell themselves, that the shifting stuff is your not theirs.
The only reason I got abused is that I show people their shit stuff that they need to deal with.
Had to fight a lot, all Lightworkers have to. But then the universe also blesses us with some gifts to protect ourselves. When one starts raising their consciousness, their spiritual gifts start to open up. Universe wants to protect us by showing the truth of deceptive/manipulative people.
From 2018, I started feeling energies. Also started knowing some things and what’s happening in the background in those abuse scenarios. In 2019, just in the last 6-7 months I also started hearing.
Yes, I have psychic abilities, they started activating to protect me, when I was fighting with so much hostility all around. I slowly learnt to trust my intuition in the turmoil.
It’s nothing like some X-Men movie, it’s just intuition. I was quite psychic in my childhood. But I shut it down, blaming myself for something, out of my innocence, that had nothing to do with me.
There are four types of psychic abilities.
Clairvoyance (intuitive seeing)
Clair-cognizance ( intuitive knowing)
Clair-sentience (intuitive feeling)
Clair-audience (intuitive hearing)
Being an empath, I am a Clairsentient, I started discerning between energies that I absorbed. Now I have kind of mastered it.
My Clair-audience is the most strong one, out of them all. It developed over time while fighting with abuse, same with my claircognizance.
Clair-voyance is there but in a more visual way, for me. I learnt to discern between the behaviours of people.
I don’t like to use them all the time, I try to keep it off and don’t try to observe people all the time. But messages do come up through these mediums, whenever I need protection.
So I am an Engineer turned Psychic!! 😂
It was difficult in starting to move towards these things from science. These things are more about just believing. But I started seeing the results, I knew it works.
I always felt like an outcast, the odd one out. So when I found the reason why, I could not do anything else but feel glad that now I know the reason. I learnt that I am a misfit for a reason, started appreciating myself and stopped dimming my light.
Scapegoating stops when Lightworkers learn to show light to the darkness around, have boundaries and not take anyone else’s projections, but to revert back the responsibility of dealing with their shadow, to other people.
In the last 4 months, after leaving the job. I have been able to focus and work more on these gifts. It also helps me to connect with higher energies and access higher wisdom, whenever I have questions.
I know it’s going to be hard if you just started your self-love journey. It was, for me too.
Let’s start from the point where I had to start, I had completely rejected and forgotten all parts of me, all my past that I did not like. And then I had to finally face everything.
I haven’t been posting anything about my relationships here, because you know, Indians !! But I can share what is required badly now. Anyways most of the people who know me, they know all of this stuff.
I was in a relationship with a guy, quite toxic. When the relationship started to fall off, in just a few months, I tried to fix everything. He just tried to block me everywhere and I kept trying to fix his life for him. I went on telling him to work on his self-esteem, his friendships, his conflict-avoidant nature. I ended up with no results because you can not change a person unless they want to, this has been a lesson that life kept throwing at me repeatedly for three years, even in friendships and at work, until I started using it into my life.
Whatever I tried to fix for him, in a few months I started observing the same problems in my life. First my own self-esteem, my own habit of people-pleasing, next to my toxic friendships, my boundaries, my priorities and then all patterns that I acquired while growing up.
I was just thrown off into deep shadow work, just like that. My life was falling apart and with that, all my wounds were coming to surface. I started writing all my emotions into a diary, I kept writing each fear of mine into that list. I also wrote each memory from my past that haunted me. Meanwhile, new people, new abusers, new problems, kept coming into my life at the same time. It was very difficult, but I just made it through somehow, all I knew was to not give up.
When I was over the phase of writing everything down, as much as I could m I started working on it one by one. I still have flashbacks of things that I rejected about myself, but now it’s easy because I have practised enough. Every time I remember a bitter memory, I know what wound it caused and what behaviours I learnt, what shame it put me into.
A lot of motivational speakers show self-love as if it’s going to be all good. But it’s a difficult process to learn, it’s not all easy, with self-reflection, you are entering into the journey of facing your Shadows, all the shame that anyone has ever caused in life and made you feel less worthy, it’s all going to come to the surface.
Healing is a journey, there is never going to be an end to it, but after a point, you will reach saturation, and that point is our goal.
Self-acceptance is so important, it means self-reflection, self-love, shadow work, all are being done. Learn to accept all parts of yourself and that a lot of stuff has been put by this world onto you. Start being your own friend, you will start getting rid of the shame, your environment caused you. Self-acceptance made me accept my own mistakes and also whatever wrong was done to me.
If you find your own mistakes, it’s okay to take time to feel the regret, give yourself time to grieve. But after a point, you have to stop grieving and forgive yourself. Some people might have done something, that isn’t forgivable morally. But all you can do is free yourself from resentment. You do not have to carry someone else’s pain anymore. Free yourself. People get their Karma eventually. Your focus should not be about them getting their Karma back, but about taking your power back, giving yourself a chance to live your true authentic self.
Share is not an easy thing to come out of, but you are strong and you can do it. You do not need to share your bad experiences with everyone, but if you will look around, there will be 2-3 people in your life, who will be ready to accept all parts of you. I found that in my family, I never expected it to turn out that way, but they have been through everything with me.
Look around, share it with someone who knows what listening to shame means, who loves you unconditionally, who has a compassionate heart and makes you feel safe. If that is not possible, be your own friend, share things with yourself, learn to console yourself. All you need to do is, be true to yourself. Whatever you show to the world, at least don’t hide the truth from yourself. If you that, your soul suffers with it, I have experienced it personally.
You can always go for therapy, it’s a therapists job to make you feel comfortable and safe to share all your emotions with them. Please do not suffer in silence (adding this part after watching the new today).
Shadow is the part of yourself that you have rejected, out of your own insecurities, because of trauma, the moments of shame and feeling worthless. All those are acknowledged as a shadow. Most of the times, what you hate about others, is also a part of your shadow. Once you have done shadow work, you will know the difference, you will experience self-fulfilment.
So I just shared something personal, yes I have been in love. Every time I thought now I have found the one, I was disappointed, I have a pretty normal life, just like everyone. I thought trying to fix everything on my own in a relationship is unconditional love, then I started noticing this unconditional love is not bringing me happiness as it should have, I learnt to let people go.
Soulmates are souls who hold the same frequency, incarnate together many times. It can be a romantic relationship or a platonic one. You can have multiple soulmates. Feels like you have known this person before. It’s a harmonious relationship.
But a Twin Flame is the same soul split into two. They choose the twin flame journey to help each other evolve. It is a Romantic relationship. Only those who signed up for a twin flame journey, have one, and it’s only one.
They also incarnate together many times but go through many ups and downs together to force each other to grow. They keep separating until both souls are awakened, and each feels whole in him/ herself. I know everyone says you are whole in yourself, but those who have a twin flame feel incomplete without each other. It doesn’t mean they should not feel whole in self, they actually have to go through a lot of ups and downs until they learn self-love. Only then they can unite.
One soul holds divine Masculine energy and another holds divine Feminine (any gender, doesn’t matter). One is awakened first and acts as a torch-bearer. When both are awakened and healed, the universe supports them to come together. These souls have a mission together to teach this world and to each other, self-love, true unconditional love and to show the world that love exists. Together they are powerful, both complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
On a deeper spiritual level, each anchors light for another. Both mirror each other and also have a telepathic connection. When they are together, nothing else matters.
Starseed twin flames have also a mission together.
Soulmates also have to go through healing, but they don’t go through as many cycles as twin flames. All high vibrational connections require both people to overcome fears & heal.
You meet your soulmate/TF in reality when you shift into the vibration of love. Self-love is the key to manifest a spiritual love connection.
That’s me in 2012, on my Birthday. Second-year in my college. We always had exams around my B’day but they always give 1-2 days gape between each, so I managed to celebrate it with my friends.
I studied very hard to get into a job because that time only a few would get placement in my college. I was studying electronics engineering but developed an interest in C programming by the end of the first year. In the third and fourth year, I used to go to so many coaching, twice a day after 7 hours of college. I learnt everything, programming, algorithms, microprocessors, PLCs, even tried to do preparation for GATE Examination.
Sometimes I feel I didn’t enjoy that much as my other classmates. I did get placement into an IT company, but by that time I just wanted to go for GATE/IES. But I didn’t have confidence in myself if I will be able to concentrate on study for more years. So I decided to go for an IT job because everyone said that since I love programming and I also got a job, I should.
I do regret my decisions sometimes. Out of 5 years, the last 2 years were tough as hell. Not because I didn’t know my work, but because people wanted to prove that I somehow don’t know it. I was overworked, in toxic environments. It even started affecting my health.
It took me time to accept that I am also an artistic person and can give it a try as a career. I always thought I don’t have that in me and so I wasted time in a wrong career. Last year I started to think if I want to take a job in a small city like Mysore or just give up after one more year. Came out of depression and everything exploded, I could not wait any longer to pursue my passion.
You will often hear me saying “ki I was in a wrong career for 5.5 years, I heard engineer is a creative career so I chose it. And isi bat pe sabse jyada kata hai life mein”. Jokes apart, in those 5 years I learnt so much on a personal level and a lot of skills too, looks like I was in a wrong career for a reason.
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The more you want to be right, the more in ego you are.
Now I am not saying that there’s something wrong in being right. But there are people who always just want to be right, they will do anything to prove the other person wrong. It’s like a war for them or may give them a sense of control, or maybe power, they can go to extent of manipulation and demeaning you, just to prove themselves right.
For some people it’s so important to be right, then whenever they are wrong, it becomes an argument for them, which they want to win at any cost. ‘My way or the highway’ type of thinking. Why is it so important to be right? Because it satisfies your ego. Or maybe you never learnt what it means to argue as a team to resolve an issue and not make it a war where only one can win. For some people it’s a coping mechanism to feel safe in a relationship, to always have things their way.
It affects our relationships so much. Listening is so important but people don’t realise. This is a behavioural pattern that is also created while growing up. It happens only because of ego, learn to tame your ego and you will have better healthier relationships.
Relationships should be based on ‘In this together’ not against each other.
Think, what matters, a relationship which is win-win for both, or for only one person.
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The Pretty Smart Techie 