You are a human and it comes with certain limitations. You can’t be that perfect because life is not perfect, it keeps changing, and so do you. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Choose yourself.
Don’t allow people when they to try make a god out of you. You are a human. When they keep abusing you but keep expecting tolerance for the name of forgiveness. You can not keep sacrificing your happiness for their temporary ego satisfaction.
And for the facts, those wounded people are not going to feel true happiness anyway, until they choose to self reflect and heal. So don’t sacrifice yourself for nothing.
Even if you made a few mistakes, may be the only mistake of committing to the wrong person. You are just a human. Sometimes you are going to make mistakes, sometimes you are going to hurt some people. And that’s okay.
Don’t try to fit in. If you are at a different level of being then most of society tell us. It’s actually better. Never sabotage yourself to become like everyone else.
If people be like ‘ what does she think of herself’. Just because you know your self-worth. It’s not your fault. Never stop being yourself for anyone’s opinion.
People who don’t deal with their own shit, try to put others down. Only insecure people make others feel insecure.
So if you ever come across anyone who tries to rub off their shit on you, don’t take the bait. That’s all. What they are doing has already defined what they’re. You don’t need to prove anything because if you know swimming, you know swimming. It doesn’t have to be proved.
Lisa Nicols says “I have nothing to hide, nothing to defend, nothing to protect”. This is the best definition of Self-love.
P.S. changed what I wrote earlier because I didn’t find it resonating with me.
When you start shining in your authenticity. Some people start to admire you, but some people try to steal your shine. Like they try to paint the bulb black so it’s 70 Watts shine reduces to 40 Watts shine. But what if you keep turning it up to 100W then 200W. They are going to be like “oh, it’s too bright, it’s too bright, turn it down”. But when you don’t turn it down, they change their way.
The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?
If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.
(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)
If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.
If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.
Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.
Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.
And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.
Everyday that I am building a new life for myself, breaking the norms, reaching self-fulfillment, I meet people who don’t believe in me. But guess what, I don’t care anymore. Because I know how stepping into my power makes me feel like.
People who don’t have faith, teach you to not have faith.
People who don’t feel confident, teach you to not be confident.
People who aren’t true to themselves, don’t want you to be truthful.
People who can’t shine on their own, don’t want you to shine.
People who don’t know how to trust, teach you to not trust.
People who are insecure inside, try to make you feel insecure.
People who don’t know how to Love, teach you not to love.
People who don’t have a pure heart, teach you to not have one.
People who are not kind, teach you to not be kind.
People who don’t have a life, don’t want you to have one.
People who feel powerless, teach you not to feel in your power.
People who don’t know how to take a stand, teach you to not have a stand.
People do it because they don’t know any better. But I am a way shower and if I get stuck, then who’s gonna do it. So I’m gonna do it anyway. My life’s purpose for this lifetime is to live my authentic self and I will do it no matter what.
People feel I am soft so they can throw their shit stuff on me, but they make one mistake when they forget that I am a mixture of all things including inner power. I don’t step down to any of my haters’ level, I just do me.
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This is a raw and straight forward write. I am so freaking tired of people telling me that I was never abused and it’s all just in my head.
Really!! Did I do all the healing work and forgive all my abusers and turned my pain into creativity so this pain doesn’t go outward into the world, only to hear that nothing ever happened.
Every time I tried to speak up and seek help that I am being bullied, mobbed, abused, used, misused. I was told that I am overthinking, I have a complex, I have a victim mentality, I am a difficult, negative, toxic person, its a conflict and everyone’s favourite “I am too sensitive”. It was a lot of times the authority which did so. It’s not called authority, it’s called false authority where people try to use their power for their benefit and to suppress others. But no, not anymore. Because I left everything behind, everything that could overpower me to suppress my voice.
People come and ask me what happened to me, what all I faced, I open up and in return I don’t get even a single sentence of empathy but all the shit that it was my fault. No it was not. I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, no matter what. No human deserves to be treated like that.
People, sorry not people, abusers, they abuse you but don’t want to take self responsibility. Because they will have to agree to feel the shame if they did, the same shame that they were running from and abusing others.
I am not giving anyone power to come and tell me that it never happened or I asked for it or I deserved it or it’s because something’s wrong with me. Because it’s not the truth. I’ve never asked for approval or validation from anyone on if I was actually abused or not. Abuse is done to make you feel like you are the problem, when actually it’s the other person. Why should I accept it, to be treated like trash and to take someone else’s garbage as mine.
Everyone of us, who has been abused sometime in our life by someone we probably loved and cared for. We need to look them in the eye and tell them that this happened to me and I didn’t deserve it. You need to fix your shit and if you can’t, then atleast don’t expect me to take it anymore.
This post may not get that many likes, but may be it will turn some people towards self-reflection. May be some people will realise what our so called system can do to a person and why it needs to be changed.
If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –
The Pretty Smart Techie 