Be the way you want to be and let everyone else also be the way they want to be. Let go of all the expectations you have from yourself and others.
This is true on the terms of expectations. But not when it comes to personal boundaries, always be thoughtful that your excuse for being yourself is not harming someone else’s space. Be respectful to others.
I am not asking you to stop self-reflection, we all make mistakes and have our lessons to learn. But the part that I am trying to bring light on is-
We have become so robotic, running this life’s race, that we have forgotten what real connections mean. What feeling heard, feeling loved and feeling enough means.
We need to read Instagram posts and watch motivational videos on YouTube, just to remind ourselves that “I am lovable, I can do it, I do deserve it”. We have lost touch with ourselves, so much that in real life there’s no one who tells you this.
That’s how we all live a life feeling not enough, not heard, not lovable, not deserving and then every day looks like a struggle. Everyone goes around facing problems, complaining, being sad, unmotivated, feeling miserable and some even end up creating troubles for others. Only because no one feels good about themselves.
We have created this never-ending loop, maybe it’s time we start appreciating each other, and more than that, start appreciating ourselves, loving ourselves.
I realised this when I am finally over all the negative stuff and I realise, “wow there’s nothing wrong with me, there was nothing wrong with me ever”. But why did I feel like that, because there was no one to say these words to me, and even if some people did, all those problems, all that fog leaves an impression on subconscious that there must be something wrong, otherwise why so many problems. Logically I knew it’s not my fault, but some things still enter your subconscious. Including people who were trying to make me feel like there’s is something wrong with me, all this time. I get to think that this is a problem, probably one that everyone deals with.
Just because your life is full of problems, it does not mean you are not enough, it’s just a part of destiny. So do not entangle what happens on the outside, with what happens on the inside. When you feel good inside, every day is a blessing. Love yourself.
What we talked about here is a deep inner child wound and needs healing.
No matter how much you love a person and don’t want to see them in pain, your love cannot save them for their own self.
When I started gaining insight on life, spirituality and psychology as well, I was still not in a calm state of mind, I told a lot of people a lot of truths about themselves. Sometimes unaware when I was explaining them of another person or situation, they used to take it as a criticism on themself and then I learnt about the shadow aspect of mind. I have finally stopped telling people about themselves, I see, I observe but do not offer help without asking, this also makes my life easier.
Some people who were abusive to me, I loved them like anything, tried to encourage them to improve themselves, tried to help them love themselves, but they hated me more and more and went into a lower state. Because if they were ready in the first place to self-reflect and work on themselves, they won’t be roaming around bullying or picking up at good people.
I first learnt to tell people only what they were ready to hear and as I progressed on my journey I learnt to accept them as they are. Always remember when you try to fix others, its because you are trying to derive your sense of self-worth from it, which is never going to work.
Now I don’t expect people around me to change anymore, this brings happiness and interdependence into relationships. Everyone always wants someone who can accept themselves as they are.
The only and biggest lesson I learnt in 3 years is this one. You cannot save others, no matter what. You can only provide support to those who are willing to work on themselves. You can try to encourage them without any expectation because the choice is always going to be theirs.
Yup, some people really hate me hard. As I cannot control my mouth from saying the truth sometimes, only because I care. I would rather be the big sister who shows you the mirror and let you hate me for that , than letting you create more mess in your life.
Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.
This one is such a gem. When you learn this one, day by day and then after practice you finally know the difference.
Irrespective of the situation be whatever it is, you take care of your own happiness.Irrespective of whatever problems going on.. you own your mental, psychological & emotional space. And you allow noone into that space to create a mess.
Remember when Maya Angelou says -“keep a place in your heart, that is pristine and clean no matter what, that nobody can touch” and Oprah agrees to it as the best advice she has ever got.
Own Your Happiness and never depend on anyone for it. You are your own source of light, love, peace, hope and happiness. Oh and don’t try to take responsibility to make everyone happy, only yourself.#own your happiness and own your life.
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I am not asking the world for permission to shine my light anymore. I be my authentic self and I shine as I breathe.
I always knew that I had it in me, but I was trying to hide it thinking that the world won’t be able to accept me for being my true self, because of somethings. But now I am ready to be my authentic self and shine. I am not scared of being me and I am tired of settling in.
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Universe or any source of creation/god that you believe in, it always gives you what you need at that time to expand yourself, to experience life to the fullest.
Sometimes we think we want people, friends, love, success, goals, but we don’t get it. When we don’t get it, we ask why? But we only get what is actually required to make us a whole person.
I wanted to start my blog 2 years back, wanted to do exactly what I’m doing right now, but I know if I had started at that time, I won’t have become this confident person that I needed to be, to do what I am doing. Life made me the person I needed to become before I reach my finish line. It was painful but I am always grateful for my experiences. Because they make me, me, the person that I am today. I am happy and grateful and full of joy to explore more about life.
Always remember, if you didn’t get what you wanted, God has something better in store for you. Look at your failures and betrayals as lessons.
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I have been a giver my whole life and then even after awakening I was still feeling overwhelmed for what this universe has given me, the gifts, the lovely people, the blessings, the happiness and everything. I was burdening myself with a sense of keep doing something constantly so that I can pay back to this world. Which I am still going to do, I still have a sense of purpose because it makes me myself, but I have now realised everyone’s first purpose is to live life to the fullest.
Any God that you believe in, it answers your prayers, it gives you love, hope, happiness regardless. You just need to be you, your authentic self and you don’t have to pay back to him for what you have received. You got it because you already deserve it.
It took me years to realise that I deserve respect, I deserve love, I deserve to be me, I deserved to be happy, I deserve to have right people and relationships in my life, I deserve success, I deserve appreciation, I deserve everything. And then it took a moment of spiritual realisation to know that whatever I deserve, I deserve it by just being me, I don’t have to have a sense burden to pay back to the world.
So every human being, deserves everything. Love to be the most. Everyone deserves it. Stop feeling unloved, non-deserving, un-lovable, people who love you, they love for who you are. Stop trying to make people stay in your life by keep giving, those who love you will anyway stay. You are enough, just by being yourself.
You are life, a being of love and you deserve love.
Be open to receiving love.
P.S. This quote doesn’t mean you try to get everything by manipulating, controlling or abusing others in a Narcissistic way.
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I see Dr you
I see you all, I see all of it
I see you
I see what you are inside
I see you
I see you are not what you say
I see you
I see how insecure you are
I see you
I see how fearful you are
I see you
I see that you can’t see the good in me
I see you
I see the pain that you are in
I see you
I see the disgust you do to hide it
I see you
I see your inner demons coming for me
I see you
I see your shame and insecurities that you try to throw upon me
I see you
I see the pain that you want me to be in
I see you
I see the pain that you want to run away from
I see you
I see that you don’t know who you are
I see you
I see that what you do is a cry for love
I see you
I see the pain in this world
I see you
I see the need for love in this world
I see you
I see that someone has to stop hurting
I see you
I see that I need to end the pain
I see you
I see I can’t become a reflection of you
I see you
I see the need to find good in people
I see you
I see the need in this world for people like me
I see you
I see why you want to dim my light
I see you
I see why you hate me
I see you
I see that you are not able to love yourself
I see you
I see that I am here to share love
I see you
I see that I am here to spread light
I see you
I see that I am here to add hope
I see you
I see I am here to show the power of healing
I see you
I see that I was born for a purpose
I see you
I see that it’s time when I become my true self
I see you
I see I need to show the way to the world by being myself.
Painting courtesy @olechkadesign
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The Pretty Smart Techie 