10 October 2010. I have been writing since I was in school. I used to write pages in one go, in the flow. Asking why is the world this way, why humans react so much. That time I was full of questions and curiosity, now I have answers..Continue reading
After I filed papers in the first company, I was doing better everyday, but I had the stress about finding a job again. When I took a month’s break, I was doing better. When I joined the next job, I was excited to finally start the working again. But that year I lost a lot of friendships, it was some 25-30 friends that I cut off. And if you include normal friends, work colleagues and old work colleagues, the count had was 60.
First month in that job was fine. I had also learnt to manage energetic boundaries with toxic people. Whatever happened in 2018, gave me clarity that I’m an empath and I need to learn how to set boundaries. But soon they started bullying me. And then I started feeling the depression again. It was a different issue but everything reminded me of the past, that I was trying to get away from. Everyday I used to ask myself why are these people jealous of me? I have nothing left, my love is gone, then the humiliation that I faced with harassment. Everyday coming back from office, all I could think about was the last year. I had so much anxiety that I was hiding. All the time I would keep shrinking inside and no one would even get a clue. I had slowly started hating the city. Big cities and selfish people. Generally, people block their heart chakra after heartbreak in romantic relationships, but mine got blocked because of the harassment.Continue reading
Able to see the silver linings now. Believe in God!!!
First time I was abused, I thought it’s my fault. The second time I was abused I was confused. The third time I was abused I knew I am different.
By the third time, my psychic abilities started growing because spirit/God wanted to protect me. I learnt enough psychology too, to understand that it’s not my mistake. They are predators. I was told I am good at nothing, but I knew there must be something special about me.
I was told it’s my fault that I get abused every time, I knew it’s for a bigger reason. I have been trained to lead, to make the right choice and stand for it, in such hostile environments, that I can face anything now. It made me a warrior.
I learnt to never let anyone tell me who I am, coz I know who I am. I want to help people who suffer the same things that I did.
This time I don’t mind if someone copies me. Alone I could make only a few 10 warriors, but together we can make 100’s of them. Those who will not let anyone abuse their power, those who will stand for the right thing. Those who will be the change to create a new world.
I am not scared to say such big words because my vision is this big and it’s not going to change.
God is there and I believe in it. I have faith that nothing or no one can break. It made me who I am so that I can do what I am meant to do. They tried to ruin my career, now they will see a new career is born out of that.
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Lightworkers are here to be a vessel of light, strategically placed all over the globe to anchor light. It also comes with a lot of troubles. You have to show light to the darkness around you. You also have to fight the darkness within you ( shadow work).
This is why a lot of us Lightworkers, are scapegoated everywhere because we bring light to the truth, we speak the truth. Wherever I have been, school, college, training, jobs, friend groups, if there is someone to be scapegoated, it’s always me.
Because I can’t just sit there and see something wrong happen, nor can I conform to the social conditioning. This triggers people, actually, it’s more than that, I injure their egos and they start scapegoating me.
Scapegoating means you are always blamed for whatever bad happens, cornered, isolated, gossiped about, made to feel like you are the problem. Everyone wants to dump their shit on you ( rejected parts of themselves). So that they can tell themselves, that the shifting stuff is your not theirs.
The only reason I got abused is that I show people their shit stuff that they need to deal with.
Had to fight a lot, all Lightworkers have to. But then the universe also blesses us with some gifts to protect ourselves. When one starts raising their consciousness, their spiritual gifts start to open up. Universe wants to protect us by showing the truth of deceptive/manipulative people.
From 2018, I started feeling energies. Also started knowing some things and what’s happening in the background in those abuse scenarios. In 2019, just in the last 6-7 months I also started hearing.
Yes, I have psychic abilities, they started activating to protect me, when I was fighting with so much hostility all around. I slowly learnt to trust my intuition in the turmoil.
It’s nothing like some X-Men movie, it’s just intuition. I was quite psychic in my childhood. But I shut it down, blaming myself for something, out of my innocence, that had nothing to do with me.
There are four types of psychic abilities.
- Clairvoyance (intuitive seeing)
- Clair-cognizance ( intuitive knowing)
- Clair-sentience (intuitive feeling)
- Clair-audience (intuitive hearing)
Being an empath, I am a Clairsentient, I started discerning between energies that I absorbed. Now I have kind of mastered it.
My Clair-audience is the most strong one, out of them all. It developed over time while fighting with abuse, same with my claircognizance.
Clair-voyance is there but in a more visual way, for me. I learnt to discern between the behaviours of people.
I don’t like to use them all the time, I try to keep it off and don’t try to observe people all the time. But messages do come up through these mediums, whenever I need protection.
So I am an Engineer turned Psychic!! 😂
It was difficult in starting to move towards these things from science. These things are more about just believing. But I started seeing the results, I knew it works.
I always felt like an outcast, the odd one out. So when I found the reason why, I could not do anything else but feel glad that now I know the reason. I learnt that I am a misfit for a reason, started appreciating myself and stopped dimming my light.
Scapegoating stops when Lightworkers learn to show light to the darkness around, have boundaries and not take anyone else’s projections, but to revert back the responsibility of dealing with their shadow, to other people.
In the last 4 months, after leaving the job. I have been able to focus and work more on these gifts. It also helps me to connect with higher energies and access higher wisdom, whenever I have questions.
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This one just hit me. It took me a long time to learn that I am sensitive to energies. When I accepted this, it led me to accept that I am an Empath.
I was just writing my diary and feeling exhausted after interacting with other people. Whenever this happens I observe myself if it’s because of other’s energies. I thought of sharing this on my blog because it takes a lot of time (years) to learn how your body responds to energies.
If you are interacting with someone, you are in harmony with, it’s not going to make much difference, but only make you happier. This is why everyone prefers to have positive people in their life.
Next comes when you interact with lower energy/vibration people, it drains your energy too. So for a few hours even after the interaction, I can feel dull, it also gives me slight pain in my lower back, which is not my bones, but a feeling of a muscle tear. That is what happens when you absorb others’ lower energies.
Next level is a psychic attack/energy attack. Don’t take this as some voodoo stuff, it’s very common for empaths. Suppose if you are in a troubling relationship with a toxic person, going through a rough phase, most of the time both people are thinking about each other, so this creates an energetic cord if some negative energy is coming highly directed towards you. You are going to feel it. It feels like a pain in the back area, sometimes up to the neck.
For clearing your energy, you can reduce interactions with negative people, meditate, relaxing music, have healthy foods to keep you in good energy. You can also take relaxing hot water baths, use sage smudging sticks, go outside and have a walk. Walk barefoot on the grass and ground yourself. One simple way is to say, “it’s you energy, not mine”, to detach. Do a 5-minute mediation in the morning to protect yourself with a bubble of white light.
This is why it gets exhausting for empaths to work in toxic environments. If it’s regular, it starts affecting their eating & sleeping habits. Productivity, mental, emotional and physical health.
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