Fear of abandonment is the first thing which is common in both Narcissists and codependent Empaths. It keeps them both stuck in a toxic cycle.
Codependents take abuse only because of their fear of abandonment. Narcissists manipulate people, so when they sense that their mask is falling off and the victim can see it, they escalate the abuse.
Fear of abandonment makes people not trust, not be in touch with their emotions and run away at the slightest chance of abandonment. Where it gets difficult is maybe there is no one even thinking about abandoning the person, but they will keep reacting to their own fear and ruin a stable relationship. It causes a lot of inner turmoil to accept the truth.
This fear makes you feel like even good things are too good to be true. It’s an inner child wound and most of the time it comes from childhood trauma. The person needs to do inner child work, work on self-love and improve the self-talk, replace negative thoughts with rational thoughts & positive affirmations. And sometimes let that fear become real, let someone abandon you, process all your emotions that come after it for once, the fear will be gone. Time heals everything.
I know it’s easier said than done. But a temporary pain can heal your fears for a lifetime. You stayed with this fear for decades and it doesn’t feel good to live in fear. Let’s overcomes it for once and enjoy a happy emotional life.
All the best for your self-love and healing journey. Healing is selfless deed and Universe appreciates & supports everyone who is trying to heal themselves. When you heal, blessings will soon be revealed. Sending you love and light XOXOXO
It’s the teacher’s day here and I think it’s time to claim something. When I am coaching you through tarot or writing or listening to your problems, what I need back is respect and reciprocated energy. No offence to anyone, but some people don’t understand this concept.
I am always ready to help for free if someone can reciprocate the energy. Money/ time /genuine appreciation is also a form of energy.
People think if they pay healers money they are above us. But they forget that we help them, we save them from months and years of mental stress and we take their negative energies and transmute it into positive. We try to put them on the path to self-reflection, healing and growth.
I hope now everyone gets who is giving more and who deserves more. So please respect what we do and don’t try to act like our boss.
People still respect Babas more than spiritual teachers, because they believe in superstition more than faith. Healers show you what you need to heal, where you need to self reflect, what your wounds are, what your life purpose is, what your karma is, what you need to change about yourself, how you can grow, they remind you of your own power, they put you on the right path to heal your ancestral trauma, they teach you self love and the meaning of life. But still, healers are taken for granted.
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I also want to take time to thank all other healers, earth angels, Lightworkers, tarot readers, Psychics, Spiritual teachers, life coaches who have always helped me through this journey to transform myself into my higher self. It was not possible without all your help.
Let us all Lightworkers thanks our star system team, spirit guides, angels, archangels and ancestors, for always showing us the way when we can’t see the light. They give us unconditional love, help us heal and grow, they provide us protection and support.
I love my spirit team and very grateful for them. Everytime I see a temporary spirit guide leave, I feel a sense of loss but I wish best for their next endeavours. Thanks to all my spirit guides and angels who have helped me all the way through this chaos, we are a team and I will never forget that.
The fact is, no one ever said to me that I am too blunt or anything I just know it because I am a psychic.
I am a Lightworker and every lightworker has a unique life purpose. One of my spiritual gifts is authenticity, that’s the uniqueness I got as a lightworker. Spirit chooses Lightworkers and engraves light codes in their souls. My soul is engraved with authenticity, because spirit wanted it to be that way. My soul desires to speak the truth with authenticity, this desire is put inside my soul by the divine powers itself, it’s spirit’s own desire.
The second picture is from Insta story, please bear with the typos.
Spirit uses me to send this truth to you, through me. Now when I have come this far on my spiritual journey and in touch with spirit, spirit’s desires are my desires. I am just an instrument now.
Anyways when I used to be scared and try to say the truth indirectly, it didn’t change much, people were still triggered and abused me. I would better be my authentic self if the result is always going to be the same.
Truth hits your soul. Truth triggers you. Truth shatters your illusions. Truth remains the same, no matter how it’s said, with anger or calm, with aggression or with grace, in wars or in peace. What I share is Spiritual truth, divine truth. It’s not your truth or my truth, it’s universal. It’s going to trigger you if you are not in touch with the truth. You don’t like it because it triggers you to do shadow work. That’s exactly spirit wants to achieve, to help your soul grow. Your ego does not like it, because it triggers you. But your soul has been waiting to be triggered, so that it can heal and grow and move towards awakening.
Spiritual awakening is all about seeing truth beyond all your illusions. So if you seek spiritual awakening, first you must be a truth seeker. Your soul wants to be one with the source, one with the truth. It wants the truth to be heard, seen and touched.
What I am doing, may not have been done before, but that’s exactly what spirit wants me to do. To create my own path, following my own calling.
I want us to change the vocabulary here. Truth isn’t blunt, sharp or forceful, it’s just plain without any sugarcoating. It’s just the truth.
Every soul is innately free-spirited and limitless.
It’s our belief systems that keep us limited. We think Karma is caused by our bad actions done towards someone else. But mostly it is caused by our own belief systems. We hold on to our limiting beliefs and they keep us trapped.
All you need to do is shed those limiting beliefs and grow, you will feel free.
When I was going through my Spiritual awakening, the decision to move away from toxic people, leaving the 9 to 5, telling my friends and family about my Spiritual awakening, talking about my past on my blog, talking about my Psychic abilities. Everything was as scary as it could be, because I didn’t personally know anyone else who had gone through the same things. No one in my family line had ever used tarot even. Everytime opening up made me face the fear of what will it bring. Will it push people away or will they be able to accept it?
It was just my limited belief that something tragic would happen, everything will crumble. But it didn’t, I showed my new-self over & over, and they loved it. Remember, people who won’t like your growth, are the ones who probably should not be in your life. But at the same time, it made me count, how many people have a probability to fall away and how many will stay. And what if I end up alone. That’s the fear. What if I don’t open up, would I have to pretend to be someone that I’m not, for whole my life.
I followed my heart and did it anyway and I am happy with the outcomes. I did take sometime to first porcess everything by myself and then share. Because it was my responsibility to communicate it in the right way, when you are comfortable inside, you are comfortable outside too. Me being authentic, brought so much transparency in our relationships and we are happy. I even chose to stick to some people that I had a rough relationship with, but we healed it. With me transcending my ego, transcended all my relationships into unconditional love.
Most of the time, it’s just what we fear that keeps us trapped, not people. When you choose to show your authentic self to the world, the universe chooses to shower you with love 10 times more, it always brings healing. When you surrender, give something selflessly, the universe rewards it 10 times back.
The universe/God does not test your commitment to itself, but towards your own soul. So how willing are you to free your soul?
This is the only difference in a Twin Flame and a karmic. One is all about self-love and the other ends with self-love.
Whether you are in separation or in union, the day your twin flame enters your life, the only thing you do going forward, is teaching each other self-love.
Whether it becomes a romantic relationship or a platonic going forward, they always want the best for you and always show you how to love yourself first.
Ending it with this message. Focus on self love and your twin flame or soulmates, soul family will manifest into reality. Do not focus all your time to find your twin. If you are destined to meet them in this life, you will. Also, not everybody has a twin flame.
This is big misconception that everybody has a twin flame, I feel it started from people who want to earn money by promising you that they can help find your twin flame. No offense to anyone, but not everyone has a twin flame.
Is it a twin flame relationship or a karmic account? Let me explain how to find out.
People have created such a stigma around twin flame relationships. That sometimes when you are in a toxic relationship, you think that is also a twin flame. But sometimes it can be karmic which makes them your false twin flame.
Specially Empaths and codependents, if they fall in love with a Narcissist they tend to think it’s a soulmate or a twin flame. It happens because you don’t want to accept that what’s happening to you is abuse, because of love-bombing, cognitive dissonance, trauma bonding and parent child dynamic.
With time you will realise that it’s a Narcissist, because relationship with a Narc can not last a very long time, without the truth coming to the surface. Whereas twin flame relationships go into separation so both the people can heal and come back into a healthy relationship.
**If you are an empath, spiritual person or understand energies, it’s easy to figure out. When you say that you are made of each other and your soul feels it. What does it actually feel? I used to feel as if we are chained together. I am growing but I have to pull the other person with me, even if I have to slow down. The chain is nothing like an angelic chain or golden chain, it’s a heavy rusty iron chain. That’s a karmic relationship, where you haven’t learnt the lessons yet, which is keeping you stuck with them.
**Whereas if you think about your twin flame, you won’t feel any links like cords or chains. You just see that person as simply you. You know you both are the same soul. You don’t feel any cord but you know that there is a connection at every level. Even when you go through separation and triggering, you will still find there loving energy healing you in 5D.
Your twin flame is the one with whom you have been before also, in other lives/higher dimensions, so it feels like home. Usually, when you discuss about your life, you find out that theirs and your life have almost been through same templates.
Now, this is the part which creates confusion, do you understand them better since you know how tough your past was. Or are you with them because you think that, since you were both abused in the same way in past/childhood, so now you are a match. This is your wound-mate, not a soulmate.
Yesterday when I was doing cord-cutting, I decided to it for more people.
Sometimes what people do to you, is not forgivable, there’s no spiritual bypassing for that. Suppose someone does a crime, how can you justify, that it had a purpose? So those kind of things are only to forget and let go, some things are so shitty that it can’t be healed, it does not come in the criteria of healing. So that kind of things you just need to let go, you should not try to pick your wounds again and again by trying to heal it, when there is nothing to heal.
So I tried to do the same, one single person who I could not forgive but just let go. Cutting cords was getting painful and there were too many cords.
I have mastered meditation now, so with the cord-cutting meditation, I had called in on all my spirit guides and mother Gaia as well. I did a combination of white light meditation as well as grounding meditation. So mother Gaia was present. I did set an intention to not include her in cord-cutting, but they always care for us.
When I was feeling hurt because of the cord-cutting, mother Gaia held me in her arms and calmed me down and gave me strength. I could finally complete the cord-cutting. I kept thanking her and archangel Michael the whole day.
Mother Gaia’s energy is so loving, motherly and comforting to your soul. Monther is nothing but mother mature, all Empaths are in touch with her. This interaction with her made me realise I am an Earth angle too. All divine energies keep showing themselves to me one by one to make me believe in them, myself and my life. I had started getting some messages related to Gaia through tarot for last few days. It is also related to the Lionsgate portal, this time brings such angelic experiences for starseeds specially Sirians. I had started getting some messages related to Gaia through tarot for last few days.
Boundaries should be there to protect us, but it should not be a wall. Boundaries are where you define what works and what doesn’t work for you in a relationship. But some people forget boundaries, and use walls.
Walls come from the fear of abandonment, rejection, childhood wounds or past hurt. They make you closed off with a block in the heart chakra. Your wounds don’t let you show the real you, vulnerable you to those you love. Yes, you can still love but you just won’t express it. Because you are emotionally closed off.
Some people, because of child abuse they learnt it very early in life, to never let their guard down, because they don’t feel safe. Wounds make you fear that, if someone saw the real you, they might leave you. But how would you know, until you try.
You need to find the right people, who respect your boundaries and be open with them.
I know someone could still have fears, but let me tell you something. I am an empath, I know how the smallest things can hurt us and that’s why we need to let people know what hurts us, otherwise, they will never know. But at the same time, I don’t keep myself closed off with people who I love and care for. Those who care back for me and allow a safe space for me to open up, know all parts of me.
So what you have is a wall or a boundary? Being a lightworker I am always reminded to first protect my own energy and then be giving to someone else. To protect yourself and to feel safe, you need people who make you feel accepted when you show your vulnerability. To protect yourself does not mean to always keep a mask on, so that nobody would ever hurt you.
People who have been through abuse need a lot of compassion from their loved ones. We need to make them feel safe. They deserve to hear it from us that “we don’t care what people did to them in the past, we just want to know the real them and love their real self”.
And when they open up, we need to have Empathy. Child abuse plays with your head, sometimes they would blame themselves for things that they weren’t even responsible for. We need to show them what love is.
Before you do anything externally, accept your loved ones for who they are, the real them.
The shadow is about what parts you have rejected of yourself, when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, you decided to keep them in a box inside you but never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you, just to keep you suppressed and in control.
When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of anyone’s disapproval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely, regardless!!. Shadow work is not only about integrating your rejected parts back, but also about looking at your own wounds, accepting them and healing. When you work on your wounds, you also get to see all of your subconscious fears and insecurities. So shadow work is a lot more than anyone can think, it’s the ultimate self-development.
Dark Night of the soul and shadow work come hand in hand. When your soul hits the dark night, you cannot run away from shadow work anymore. It makes you question everything, everything that social conditioning taught you. The journey is painful, but after going through it, you can experience ultimate fulfilment.
Self-acceptance is a must for self-love. And when you accept your shadow also as your own SELF, you become an empowered individual.
Please like, comment, share and let me know if it helped you. Don’t forget to follow my blog for more such posts.
So I just took a personality test and came to know I am an INFJ-A. I started talking about that on my Instagram and ended up talking about my shadow work. I just want to share all of that into a single post on WordPress.
My personality basically is a super empath, according to me. Super Empaths are in touch with their emotions but strong individuals. Always learning, often spiritual, looked up as old souls. They learn to fight the darkness within themselves, accept all parts of themselves and have true self-love.
But you should never mess with an Empath, since they master their light and dark both sides, they can very well understand what a toxic person is capable of doing and INFJs can fight back ten-fold if they want, but they choose not to. They do stand up to abusers because bringing justice is as spiritual as you can be. They win but outgrowing their abusers. When one masters darkness within themselves, they become a Lightworker.
Now I thought people who haven’t done any shadow work for themselves, would be looking at it in a negative way. So I went down explaining more and more. To me, it’s not righteous to compare your light side to someone’s shadow side and be like oh this is a bad person. I don’t think a person who has done shadow work on themselves, is ever going to compare it with someone else’s shadow and be like “mine is better”. Shadow work always humbles you, because now you know what bad could exist within you, why would you look down on anyone else.
Empaths have a weakness to think as if the world is as good as them. They are pure-hearted and have strong moral values. Their dark side is all about having boundaries, walking away from wrong people, detaching from their abusers, standing up for themselves, seeing through people’s intentions and taking their power back. All these things are suppressed in an empath, especially rebels, Lightworkers, INFJs. They are taught by society to suppress their strong personalities.
Because of abuse, boundary violations and gaslighting, all of these start coming to surface. Suddenly they also want to fight back, need justice, the dark emotions of wanting to fight for themselves start coming to the surface. (The emotion is dark only from the victim’s perspective because of their conditioning, it’s not actually dark. Courage is a good thing.) This is when the shadow work kicks in. In some rare cases, it pushes them to a state termed “Supernova”, and that’s when they can play one step ahead of the Narcissists. But the core of an empath is purity, so very fast, their soul starts suffering the consequences. You cannot change who you are on the inside, so then they need to go for therapy, to recover from the guilt/regret/remorse. If an empath learns to fight their urges of battling the abuser, to see it as lessons, work on themselves, stop getting involved in the drama, taking their power back and outgrow their environments to overcome abuse. That’s how an empath becomes a super empath.
The Empath’s dark side is not about doing bad to anyone, but to accept that world is not all good. (Now again, I know my haters would be going like, see Empaths aren’t as pure). Before anyone blames Empaths for anything, remember that they absorb other people’s emotions, the Narcissist’s emotions too. Narcissists abuse their victims in a way, to provoke the victims to step outside of their integrity. That’s why those who overcome Narcissistic abuse, are strong people, spiritual warriors. A super empath is an empowered individual. Those who are still not able to justify, I would ask them to do their own shadow work, before raising a finger.
The shadow is about what parts of yourself you have rejected when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, to be strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, that you decided to keep in a box inside you and to never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you just to keep you suppressed and in control. When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of society’s approval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely regardless.
Empath’s shadow self has power as well as dark emotions, that’s why you think that it’s something bad. But their shadow side still has lesser dark emotions. Unlike other people (mostly in toxic people and Narcissists) who have have Empathy itself in their shadow side, which makes it worse.
It’s easier to think that the Empath, a victim of abuse is a bad person, by looking at their shadow. To me, the shadow side is about negative internal emotions, abuse puts you through that turmoil, but it doesn’t mean they take action based on those negative emotions externally. This is why this world needs more Empathy. Empathy is not the same as sympathy, it makes you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. That is the same reason why Empaths can’t do bad to anyone or hurt anyone, even after integrating their shadow side. Because no matter what their shadow says, Empathy is still the highest emotion of them all.
Without exploring your own dark side, you can not see the dark side of others’. Empaths tend to think everyone is an angel until they get in touch with their own dark side. The shadow work is also related to “the dark night of the soul” phase when going through a spiritual awakening.
I wanted to share an example, that shadow is not all bad. So I shared something about myself. I didn’t have the emotion of jealousy ( competition jealousy for which people try to put someone down for their own good), even in my shadow side. That’s why it was so traumatizing for me to see people getting jealous, back in 2018. It took me a lot to accept that – yes, people do get jealous and you can’t do much about it. This is why, exploring your own shadow side is important, because, without it, I was able to see some things, but not able to accept them.
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The Pretty Smart Techie 