It takes a selfless person to do all the healing work. So if you are doing it, appreciation from the universe for you.
It takes a lot of dedication to work on all the wounds, some of which are not your own, they come from society, your environment, your ancestors.
Self-love involves healing, because when you heal you create such good karma for yourself and all the generations that are going to come after you. When you heal yourself, you present authenticity to your connections, you give them true unconditional love.
Some say it takes trust, some say respect, some say unconditional love.
But how would you know how much trust means trust and how much respect means respect for the other person. That’s where boundaries are important.
Unconditional love, people get an idea of selfless love, let the other person do whatever he/she wants, I will keep loving. Can this really work? Another person can exploit your boundaries and expect you to love unconditionally.
True love is when you learn that having boundaries is a part of unconditional love. Not having boundaries is like betraying yourself, not being true to yourself. Can you actually give true love, when you are coming from a place where you are not in 100% alignment with yourself. To be one with anything else, you need to be one with yourself first.
[oneness]Boundaries are the secret of happy relationships, both platonic & non-platonic. Through all these years, when my life was falling apart, the relationship that still sustained are the ones who know how to respect boundaries. Happy relationships are the secret to a happy life.
P.S. Learn the difference between oneness & boundaries. I learnt this from Teal swan.
The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?
If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.
(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)
If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.
If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.
Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.
Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.
And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.
Did you think empaths have to be scared of Narcissists? It can be the other way around, once the Empath learns their worth.
When empaths learn to love themselves, their self-worth, to discern between fear and intuition, to trust their intuition, to set boundaries and educate themselves over the same single pattern all the Narcissist use every time, they become empowered.
Start your journey today and in some months you will learn to set boundaries, that will itself save you from a lot of Narcs. Psychologists use the term “supply” for a Narcissist’s victims. A good supply is someone who helps the Narcissist inflate his/her ego, gives them validation that they need and lets them have control. If you know how to set boundaries, you will fail a Narcissist as a supply, in the starting few interactions.
Narcissists want to manipulate everyone to feed on their insecurities, so they observe the victim in starting stages of the relationship, that’s the love bombing stage. They will show themselves as the gratified immensely good person they are and how the world is always bad to them. An educated empath in turn, also observes the Narcissist in these starting stages.
If you learn to use your intuition right way and trust it, it will always protect you. I am an intuitive person too, my intuition always tries to tell me something whenever I need protection and I utilise my intuition.
If you educate yourself on Narcissism and your own behaviours that keep you stuck with Narcissists, you will soon learn to come out of the toxic cycle faster with less drama. All Narcissists are scared of being shown the mirror, of their false self-image being broken and educated empaths can do it. Show a Narcissist how inflated their ego is, and they are nowhere close to what they think of themselves.
Using boundaries, you learn to show a Narcissist that all the good qualities they see in themselves are yours, and all the insecurities that they try to project on you to harm your self-worth and keep you stuck in that fog, are all his/her insecurities.
The Narcissist then discards the supply and moves on to a new victim. If you don’t do this, they will anyways discard you after sucking you dry out of the love for yourself, when they have completely ruined you and stolen your identity, they leave, you are not useful to them anymore. They will leave you completely broken & shattered, when you are looking up to them, hoping that they will change. But they don’t change, they know you have sensed that they are not what they were pretending to be, so they leave. They give themselves excuse by saying that you are not as good, positive, energetic person now as they thought you were. Soon you will be out of sight – out of life for them like you never existed for them.
By having boundaries, you can instantly become Narc-repellent. Also, self-love is the only cure to Narcissistic abuse, one day you reach that level of self-love that your happiness comes first than the Narcissist’s, and you become an empowered empath.
People look at highly sensitives and empaths as weak. But they are not.
Some may believe that a sensitive person is triggered easily, but it is not the case. Most of the sensitive people trigger others. They show you your own shadow aspect and what needs to be healed. The same reason why Narcs are always after empaths.
Some look at it as, you need to be careful around a sensitive person about how to talk, how to behave, but it’s actually teaching you a right way of behaviour, it shows you your own patterns, coping mechanisms and reached you an emotionally healthy way of being and respecting boundaries.
Sensitives are not weak, it’s only them, who are so much in touch with their emotions. That they can do the work to heal themselves and others too. “They have what it takes”, to go inward, sit with the pain, observe all the emotions and work on them. They can transmute the energy that comes towards them and bring high vibrational energies into their environment. They have the strength to break the chain of negativity, pain and generation of Ancestral trauma.
Empathy is all that it takes to self-reflect, become self-aware, learn self-love and reach self-fulfilment. You are not awake if you don’t have empathy. A lot of great spiritual teachers define awakening by one quality that is humility. No matter how many spiritual practices you do, but if empathy and compassion are missing, you still have a lot to learn.
Most of the Lightworkers, starseeds, healers, earth Angels, highly spiritual people i.e. all high vibrational souls are highly sensitive. They are here to teach everyone a high vibrational way of connection and relationships.
Healing means to clear all your past wounds and start fresh. Wounds of trauma, probably abuse, violence, shame etc.
It’s important because only after healing yourself you can reach your full potential, find true bliss and enjoy life everyday. You might say that you don’t have any trauma, you don’t have a bad past, but there can be many subconscious wounds that you are not aware of.
If you find yourself doing 5 minute rule for texting, pretending that you are busy, living for people’s approval, feeling over burdened by life, lashing out someone’s anger on someone else, using silent treatments, getting triggered by any online posts, triggered by interacting with people, there is something that requires healing. If you are conflict avoidant, having commitment issues, anger issues, all of it can be healed.
There are so many subconscious fears and societal programming in everyone’s mind that come to surface whenever anything drastic happens in their life. So do you want to wait till that moment when everything comes to surface altogether and bursts into anxiety or you want to go inwards and work on yourself now so that you are always ready to take a difficult situation and transform it into calmer waters.
Those who know that they faced some trauma, they know how it is to feel broken. And only healing can help you bring yourself together again. When you heal yourself, you won’t have to feel broken. I tried healing myself and it happened one day, one day I stopped feeling broken. It can happen for you too. If I can do it, you can do it too. I won’t ask you to have hope, but I can assure you that it works.
Healing can take you towards enlightenment, it introduces you to a high vibrational way of living.
If you liked this post, follow me for regular posts about healing. We will look at the spiritual perspective of healing, how it works and step to heal yourself.
I choose to be a fighter, I choose to be a protector, I choose to be a defender, I choose to be a nurturer.
I choose to fight the wrong, I choose to be the voice for justice, I choose to make the noise, I choose to be the change, I choose to be fearless, I choose to be unstoppable.
I choose to be a rebel, a dreamer, a truth teller, a way shower. But first, I choose to be a human.
Today is the day when I cannot control my anger anymore. I have seen every kind of pain. Sometimes the pain and anger creeps in and gets on my nerves. Sometimes I wonder why me , why I always had breakthroughs in all those struggles. Then I realise it’s a life of destiny and I choose to take the call to be the voice.
You think people are hurt and don’t know what they are doing.. They do know it somewhere deep inside, but they choose not to take responsibility for what they do. Just to hide from guilt, regret, shame or being responsible for something.
We take adjustment in relationships to next level, when we think they are not able to realise something. But actually we need to let them realise and do their inner work. You can not save somebody from this pain, by sacrificing on your side. The same pain leads them to grow into a better person.
There is always a limit on what can be forgiven and what can be adjusted. Hurt people, hurt people. It works when you want to forgive someone, but does not if you keep letting someone cross your boundaries.
Any sort of relationship works well only when both sides meet each other half way.
The Pretty Smart Techie 