Don’t let others’ opinion affect the definition of you

I’m going to explain what shadow work is. When you integrate back the hidden parts of yourself. Sometimes we hide good parts of ourselves or create false beliefs about ourselves, due to social conditioning when we are told that some of our values are wrong, we reject them too. All those parts of ourselves are rejected and that is called the shadow aspect of mind.

There was an English teacher in school, who I respected like anything and always tried to get his appreciation, never ever actually made me feel better. He would compliment other students for their potential, and not me for my growth.

In 8th standard, there was an inter-school debate. A senior student was supposed to go for it, but for some reason she backed out. So I was chosen to deliver a speech so tough. I didn’t know those words, I didn’t get time to memorize those 4 pages and now I think the speech was so long that it was actually out of the time limit that was given. So ultimately, me having not much experience on stage, with no one to encourage me at a new school and actually being under-qualified for the quality for speech that I was given. I was nervous, then I started shaking on the stage. I was scared, people were looking at me into the eye and I just completed as much part as I could and came back and cried.

So the thing is, I kept thinking for years that I have a stage fear, but actually I don’t have. It was just one more identity imposed on me by the wrong people, wrong circumstances, which was not my original self.

The teacher wanted to show his vocabulary skills instead of winning the debate and preparing the students for good. That’s what is called being self-centred. And I kept thinking for years that if he thinks I am not good, maybe I am not. But now look at me, you just completed reading the whole story & I have realised that I love being in the spotlight too.

Give up on the definitions of yourself that society has conditioned you to believe in.

Never let anyone tell you that you are not enough, you deserve less or you can not make it. You have all that it takes.

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You are not your PAST

This one actually I realised over time. People still try to see me as the person I was a year back or two years back or three years back. Sometimes even five to ten years back. I try to tell them that I have changed. It feels like I have been changing everyday, this is how a self-improvement journey looks like. You keep improving and there’s no end to it, there is always so much to explore about life.

Let’s take this the other way. I first thought of sharing my past on the blog and then I feel like there’s no need because people need to know the new me that I am now, not the old me. I have completely changed and this new person is so much better than what she used to be. I feel proud of her. I respect the old one because she fought through all of her struggles and never gave up. My past made me the person I am now, so I accept it. But now I am totally different.

There’s one more side of this coin. Sometimes we keep living in the sorrow of what happened years back and don’t realise how much time has passed by. Everyone needs to pull themselves back into the present. Life is always about the present, not about the past or future.

Don’t let your past define you. Your self-worth is not dependent on it. Always pull yourself back from the past, into the present.


Today is not the same as yesterday.
Tomorrow will not be the same as today.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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Poem – I wanna fly

Day by day when I am learning who I am. I am just opening up to a new world full of energy.

I wrote this poem to express it.

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Love yourself the way you would love when you find THE ONE

Love yourself first.

Goutam budhdha says you are never going to find anyone who is much deserving of your love more than yourself.Oprah says your cup needs to be full so that you can go and fill other people’s cup.

Love all parts of yourself. The good the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the right, the wrong, the fool, the wise, the weak, the strong and everything. All the mistakes, resentments, pain, everything belongs to you, it’s all you. Learn to see yourself as the whole and accept it.

Healing starts from self acceptance.
Self-reflection works two ways. If it was something wrong that happened to you, love yourself more to overcome the pain. And if it was something that you did wrong, forgive yourself and liberate yourself from the pain.

Before you want someone else to love you completely, why don’t you love yourself?

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