Never lose yourself for others

Sometimes for love, for approval, for the opinions of people, we try to change ourselves. We feel we need to adjust with others and change ourselves but how much?

Have you realised what it feels to be someone who you are not. It just takes the life out of you. The price that you pay is more than anything. Be self-aware.

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If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree

Do you often call your friends and complain about how you don’t like your life much. It’s time to stop doing the same things over and over again, change your actions, change your thinking and hence change your life.

Acknowledge the fact that there is a choice. You have a choice to move if you don’t like where you are. Make that choice to change yourself, work deeply to understand life. Learn what it takes to be where you want to go, try and move.

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Don’t take B.S.

People who don’t deal with their own shit, try to put others down. Only insecure people make others feel insecure.

So if you ever come across anyone who tries to rub off their shit on you, don’t take the bait. That’s all. What they are doing has already defined what they’re. You don’t need to prove anything because if you know swimming, you know swimming. It doesn’t have to be proved.

Lisa Nicols says “I have nothing to hide, nothing to defend, nothing to protect”. This is the best definition of Self-love.

P.S. changed what I wrote earlier because I didn’t find it resonating with me.

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Don’t let others’ opinion affect the definition of you

I’m going to explain what shadow work is. When you integrate back the hidden parts of yourself. Sometimes we hide good parts of ourselves or create false beliefs about ourselves, due to social conditioning when we are told that some of our values are wrong, we reject them too. All those parts of ourselves are rejected and that is called the shadow aspect of mind.

There was an English teacher in school, who I respected like anything and always tried to get his appreciation, never ever actually made me feel better. He would compliment other students for their potential, and not me for my growth.

In 8th standard, there was an inter-school debate. A senior student was supposed to go for it, but for some reason she backed out. So I was chosen to deliver a speech so tough. I didn’t know those words, I didn’t get time to memorize those 4 pages and now I think the speech was so long that it was actually out of the time limit that was given. So ultimately, me having not much experience on stage, with no one to encourage me at a new school and actually being under-qualified for the quality for speech that I was given. I was nervous, then I started shaking on the stage. I was scared, people were looking at me into the eye and I just completed as much part as I could and came back and cried.

So the thing is, I kept thinking for years that I have a stage fear, but actually I don’t have. It was just one more identity imposed on me by the wrong people, wrong circumstances, which was not my original self.

The teacher wanted to show his vocabulary skills instead of winning the debate and preparing the students for good. That’s what is called being self-centred. And I kept thinking for years that if he thinks I am not good, maybe I am not. But now look at me, you just completed reading the whole story & I have realised that I love being in the spotlight too.

Give up on the definitions of yourself that society has conditioned you to believe in.

Never let anyone tell you that you are not enough, you deserve less or you can not make it. You have all that it takes.

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Be Free From External Influence

Everyday that I am building a new life for myself, breaking the norms, reaching self-fulfillment, I meet people who don’t believe in me. But guess what, I don’t care anymore. Because I know how stepping into my power makes me feel like.

People who don’t have faith, teach you to not have faith.
People who don’t feel confident, teach you to not be confident.
People who aren’t true to themselves, don’t want you to be truthful.
People who can’t shine on their own, don’t want you to shine.
People who don’t know how to trust, teach you to not trust.
People who are insecure inside, try to make you feel insecure.
People who don’t know how to Love, teach you not to love.
People who don’t have a pure heart, teach you to not have one.
People who are not kind, teach you to not be kind.
People who don’t have a life, don’t want you to have one.
People who feel powerless, teach you not to feel in your power.
People who don’t know how to take a stand, teach you to not have a stand.

People do it because they don’t know any better. But I am a way shower and if I get stuck, then who’s gonna do it. So I’m gonna do it anyway. My life’s purpose for this lifetime is to live my authentic self and I will do it no matter what.

People feel I am soft so they can throw their shit stuff on me, but they make one mistake when they forget that I am a mixture of all things including inner power. I don’t step down to any of my haters’ level, I just do me.

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Never seek validation from people about your own story

This is a raw and straight forward write. I am so freaking tired of people telling me that I was never abused and it’s all just in my head.

Really!! Did I do all the healing work and forgive all my abusers and turned my pain into creativity so this pain doesn’t go outward into the world, only to hear that nothing ever happened.

Every time I tried to speak up and seek help that I am being bullied, mobbed, abused, used, misused. I was told that I am overthinking, I have a complex, I have a victim mentality, I am a difficult, negative, toxic person, its a conflict and everyone’s favourite “I am too sensitive”. It was a lot of times the authority which did so. It’s not called authority, it’s called false authority where people try to use their power for their benefit and to suppress others. But no, not anymore. Because I left everything behind, everything that could overpower me to suppress my voice.

People come and ask me what happened to me, what all I faced, I open up and in return I don’t get even a single sentence of empathy but all the shit that it was my fault. No it was not. I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, no matter what. No human deserves to be treated like that.

People, sorry not people, abusers, they abuse you but don’t want to take self responsibility. Because they will have to agree to feel the shame if they did, the same shame that they were running from and abusing others.

I am not giving anyone power to come and tell me that it never happened or I asked for it or I deserved it or it’s because something’s wrong with me. Because it’s not the truth. I’ve never asked for approval or validation from anyone on if I was actually abused or not. Abuse is done to make you feel like you are the problem, when actually it’s the other person. Why should I accept it, to be treated like trash and to take someone else’s garbage as mine.

Everyone of us, who has been abused sometime in our life by someone we probably loved and cared for. We need to look them in the eye and tell them that this happened to me and I didn’t deserve it. You need to fix your shit and if you can’t, then atleast don’t expect me to take it anymore.

This post may not get that many likes, but may be it will turn some people towards self-reflection. May be some people will realise what our so called system can do to a person and why it needs to be changed.

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