You are a human and it comes with certain limitations. You can’t be that perfect because life is not perfect, it keeps changing, and so do you. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Choose yourself.
Don’t allow people when they to try make a god out of you. You are a human. When they keep abusing you but keep expecting tolerance for the name of forgiveness. You can not keep sacrificing your happiness for their temporary ego satisfaction.
And for the facts, those wounded people are not going to feel true happiness anyway, until they choose to self reflect and heal. So don’t sacrifice yourself for nothing.
Even if you made a few mistakes, may be the only mistake of committing to the wrong person. You are just a human. Sometimes you are going to make mistakes, sometimes you are going to hurt some people. And that’s okay.
Did something happen in your life, which was unexpected, which broke you down, which shattered you? A dream that looks farther to achieve, something or someone you loved moved away, suddenly your life took a turn which you never expected?
Remember the times, when you faced other big problems and grew through it. If you could overcome that, you are capable of overcoming this too. It’s tough, but you are tougher than your problems.
I still remember the day when everyone voted for this topic on Instagram. And since I always pick up energies, I could feel the underlying energy around it. Which was a feeling of “there has to be some big secret to work on your fears”. I kept thinking, trying to figure out that one thing and never found anything. Then I was facing one more fear of mine which made me think again.
The truth is there’s no secret key to it. It’s simple. You just need to face your fears, head-on.
Now how do we learn to face our fears?
First, you need to become more conscious of yourself. When you raise your self-awareness and self-reflection, you are able to navigate all your emotions in a better way. If there is a subconscious fear that is making you act a certain way, now you will be able to notice it. Whereas earlier you won’t even realise why you have certain behavioural patterns.
Sometimes it can be a drastic situation or abuse, which brings those issues up to surface anyways, even when you don’t want it. But once you are able to acknowledge a fear you will be able to work on it.
When you know what type of fear you are facing, you need to be your own friend pat yourself on the back and encourage yourself that you can do it. The first time you are going to do feeling scared. The second time you would know that you can conquer it. Next time you will see the fear will be gone.
Whatever it is, that you are scared of, do it, do it anyway. For everything, what will happen if you fail, what people would say. Just do what you want to do. Life is all about living right!!
The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?
If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.
(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)
If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.
If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.
Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.
Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.
And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.
A confident person will never try to make anyone feel insecure, only an insecure person will.
I dealt with so many toxic people that this became my Mantra, I have it by heart. As soon as someone tries to put me down or make me feel bad about myself, I look at them and I see their value in their own eyes. It takes me minutes to realise and I don’t stay in the low state for long. Time & experiences make you tough.
Always have a bigger perspective, a person who tries to make anyone feel insecure, is insecure himself. Anyone who demotivates you, doesn’t appreciate your effort, criticizes you, is doing it because probably he can never even put the effort that you are putting in.
Have this by heart, never think twice on those negative voices, take minutes to self-reflect and learn if there is a possibility to improve, otherwise leave the situation there. Do not waste time arguing with stupid people, set boundaries and leave.
They ain’t paying your bills, you ain’t gotta pay them your mind. ✌🏻 Don’t take that shit & own who you are.