English translation – “People should not mess with lions.” Because it’s gonna be difficult for you if the lion wakes up. In simple words it means “don’t poke the bear”.
Do you know what I call myself in my head? “A warrior”.
I just identified sometime back that core of my personality is courage. Not only I want to do great things but I am born to do it.
Some people underestimate me. They think they will be able to find my weakness through my blog. Which actually means that I am so strong that I need to be studied to find out my weaknesses. Well, I am going to take this as a compliment. 😉
I became strong even before I started writing. It takes courage to go public on social media, it takes more courage to start a blog, it takes more courage to work on 2 passions at a time, it takes more courage to open your heart to write, it takes even more courage to dedicate your life to a selfless purpose.
Every day I bring more courage in myself than yesterday. Call me whatever. I never give up.
Do you want to empower people for your own sake or because it’s your heart’s calling? Do it right.
When I say I want to empower others, I believe that they have the power within, it just needs to come to the surface. I don’t want to mentor anyone to make them dependent on me, but to make them a warrior, who can fight for herself/himself, without my help.
Everyone has great powers with them, no one is weak or anyone’s slave.
In a way, some people try to project it on the whole world that everyone else except them is weak. This is not people-pleasing, it’s because they feel weak inside and they are running away from their own truth so they project it outwards. Ultimately, they end up projecting it onto others that they are weak, instead of empowering them.
P.S. I am planning to do a Q&A for my next YouTube video. Do ask your questions in the comment section.
This photo is from 2016 when I tried to do full makeup for the first time. I went with whatever I had, compact powder, lipstick, BB cream, eyeliner and lipstick as a blush. I did have a small eyeshadow palette from some local brand, used a sheen shade for highlighting. No foundation, no concealer.
My sister helped me with the pictures, she is the best it comes to my photoshoot. When I was going through my drive searching for old photos I realised one thing, fake friends never click good pictures of you, they want to look better than you. (You just got one more fake friend tip, always beware of the Queen-Bees . They want to be the queen of the group, they will often brag that they are so nice, but in reality those girls are always mean to everyone if you look deeply. )
I may look cute but I am not weak. I am a multifaceted and multidimensional being, I can shift my energy into being powerful and fearless at any time. Do not test my fury.
I am an old soul and each life I lived different, as a star in the cosmos a spiritual leader and a warrior, as a man, as a woman, as a healer, as a fighter, as a warrior, as an artist, as a leader, as an innocent person, as an oppressed community, I have been admired, abused, tortured, I have been killed in wars, I have died alone, I have lived in peace and I have lived in chaos too. I have been trained well for lifetimes and do not doubt if there’s a still a type that I can not turn into.
I am a combination of light and dark, where light has conquered the darkness, but if the light would want to use the darkness for good, it will.
I chose to incarnate many times to train myself and went through all that pain to become perfect for my job of a Lightworker in this life. I am going to use what I learnt. So do not doubt what I can bring to the table.
Don’t forget to follow my blog, if you would love to see more such content. I am a full-time blogger and eager to bring you ways to fulfil your soul.
So I just took a personality test and came to know I am an INFJ-A. I started talking about that on my Instagram and ended up talking about my shadow work. I just want to share all of that into a single post on WordPress.
My personality basically is a super empath, according to me. Super Empaths are in touch with their emotions but strong individuals. Always learning, often spiritual, looked up as old souls. They learn to fight the darkness within themselves, accept all parts of themselves and have true self-love.
But you should never mess with an Empath, since they master their light and dark both sides, they can very well understand what a toxic person is capable of doing and INFJs can fight back ten-fold if they want, but they choose not to. They do stand up to abusers because bringing justice is as spiritual as you can be. They win but outgrowing their abusers. When one masters darkness within themselves, they become a Lightworker.
Now I thought people who haven’t done any shadow work for themselves, would be looking at it in a negative way. So I went down explaining more and more. To me, it’s not righteous to compare your light side to someone’s shadow side and be like oh this is a bad person. I don’t think a person who has done shadow work on themselves, is ever going to compare it with someone else’s shadow and be like “mine is better”. Shadow work always humbles you, because now you know what bad could exist within you, why would you look down on anyone else.
Empaths have a weakness to think as if the world is as good as them. They are pure-hearted and have strong moral values. Their dark side is all about having boundaries, walking away from wrong people, detaching from their abusers, standing up for themselves, seeing through people’s intentions and taking their power back. All these things are suppressed in an empath, especially rebels, Lightworkers, INFJs. They are taught by society to suppress their strong personalities.
Because of abuse, boundary violations and gaslighting, all of these start coming to surface. Suddenly they also want to fight back, need justice, the dark emotions of wanting to fight for themselves start coming to the surface. (The emotion is dark only from the victim’s perspective because of their conditioning, it’s not actually dark. Courage is a good thing.) This is when the shadow work kicks in. In some rare cases, it pushes them to a state termed “Supernova”, and that’s when they can play one step ahead of the Narcissists. But the core of an empath is purity, so very fast, their soul starts suffering the consequences. You cannot change who you are on the inside, so then they need to go for therapy, to recover from the guilt/regret/remorse. If an empath learns to fight their urges of battling the abuser, to see it as lessons, work on themselves, stop getting involved in the drama, taking their power back and outgrow their environments to overcome abuse. That’s how an empath becomes a super empath.
The Empath’s dark side is not about doing bad to anyone, but to accept that world is not all good. (Now again, I know my haters would be going like, see Empaths aren’t as pure). Before anyone blames Empaths for anything, remember that they absorb other people’s emotions, the Narcissist’s emotions too. Narcissists abuse their victims in a way, to provoke the victims to step outside of their integrity. That’s why those who overcome Narcissistic abuse, are strong people, spiritual warriors. A super empath is an empowered individual. Those who are still not able to justify, I would ask them to do their own shadow work, before raising a finger.
The shadow is about what parts of yourself you have rejected when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, to be strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, that you decided to keep in a box inside you and to never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you just to keep you suppressed and in control. When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of society’s approval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely regardless.
Empath’s shadow self has power as well as dark emotions, that’s why you think that it’s something bad. But their shadow side still has lesser dark emotions. Unlike other people (mostly in toxic people and Narcissists) who have have Empathy itself in their shadow side, which makes it worse.
It’s easier to think that the Empath, a victim of abuse is a bad person, by looking at their shadow. To me, the shadow side is about negative internal emotions, abuse puts you through that turmoil, but it doesn’t mean they take action based on those negative emotions externally. This is why this world needs more Empathy. Empathy is not the same as sympathy, it makes you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. That is the same reason why Empaths can’t do bad to anyone or hurt anyone, even after integrating their shadow side. Because no matter what their shadow says, Empathy is still the highest emotion of them all.
Without exploring your own dark side, you can not see the dark side of others’. Empaths tend to think everyone is an angel until they get in touch with their own dark side. The shadow work is also related to “the dark night of the soul” phase when going through a spiritual awakening.
I wanted to share an example, that shadow is not all bad. So I shared something about myself. I didn’t have the emotion of jealousy ( competition jealousy for which people try to put someone down for their own good), even in my shadow side. That’s why it was so traumatizing for me to see people getting jealous, back in 2018. It took me a lot to accept that – yes, people do get jealous and you can’t do much about it. This is why, exploring your own shadow side is important, because, without it, I was able to see some things, but not able to accept them.
Don’t forget to follow my blog, if you would love to see more such content. I am a full-time blogger and eager to bring you ways to fulfil your soul.
That’s me in 2012, on my Birthday. Second-year in my college. We always had exams around my B’day but they always give 1-2 days gape between each, so I managed to celebrate it with my friends.
I studied very hard to get into a job because that time only a few would get placement in my college. I was studying electronics engineering but developed an interest in C programming by the end of the first year. In the third and fourth year, I used to go to so many coaching, twice a day after 7 hours of college. I learnt everything, programming, algorithms, microprocessors, PLCs, even tried to do preparation for GATE Examination.
Sometimes I feel I didn’t enjoy that much as my other classmates. I did get placement into an IT company, but by that time I just wanted to go for GATE/IES. But I didn’t have confidence in myself if I will be able to concentrate on study for more years. So I decided to go for an IT job because everyone said that since I love programming and I also got a job, I should.
I do regret my decisions sometimes. Out of 5 years, the last 2 years were tough as hell. Not because I didn’t know my work, but because people wanted to prove that I somehow don’t know it. I was overworked, in toxic environments. It even started affecting my health.
It took me time to accept that I am also an artistic person and can give it a try as a career. I always thought I don’t have that in me and so I wasted time in a wrong career. Last year I started to think if I want to take a job in a small city like Mysore or just give up after one more year. Came out of depression and everything exploded, I could not wait any longer to pursue my passion.
You will often hear me saying “ki I was in a wrong career for 5.5 years, I heard engineer is a creative career so I chose it. And isi bat pe sabse jyada kata hai life mein”. Jokes apart, in those 5 years I learnt so much on a personal level and a lot of skills too, looks like I was in a wrong career for a reason.
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I still remember the day when everyone voted for this topic on Instagram. And since I always pick up energies, I could feel the underlying energy around it. Which was a feeling of “there has to be some big secret to work on your fears”. I kept thinking, trying to figure out that one thing and never found anything. Then I was facing one more fear of mine which made me think again.
The truth is there’s no secret key to it. It’s simple. You just need to face your fears, head-on.
Now how do we learn to face our fears?
First, you need to become more conscious of yourself. When you raise your self-awareness and self-reflection, you are able to navigate all your emotions in a better way. If there is a subconscious fear that is making you act a certain way, now you will be able to notice it. Whereas earlier you won’t even realise why you have certain behavioural patterns.
Sometimes it can be a drastic situation or abuse, which brings those issues up to surface anyways, even when you don’t want it. But once you are able to acknowledge a fear you will be able to work on it.
When you know what type of fear you are facing, you need to be your own friend pat yourself on the back and encourage yourself that you can do it. The first time you are going to do feeling scared. The second time you would know that you can conquer it. Next time you will see the fear will be gone.
Whatever it is, that you are scared of, do it, do it anyway. For everything, what will happen if you fail, what people would say. Just do what you want to do. Life is all about living right!!
The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?
If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.
(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)
If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.
If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.
Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.
Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.
And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.
Did you think empaths have to be scared of Narcissists? It can be the other way around, once the Empath learns their worth.
When empaths learn to love themselves, their self-worth, to discern between fear and intuition, to trust their intuition, to set boundaries and educate themselves over the same single pattern all the Narcissist use every time, they become empowered.
Start your journey today and in some months you will learn to set boundaries, that will itself save you from a lot of Narcs. Psychologists use the term “supply” for a Narcissist’s victims. A good supply is someone who helps the Narcissist inflate his/her ego, gives them validation that they need and lets them have control. If you know how to set boundaries, you will fail a Narcissist as a supply, in the starting few interactions.
Narcissists want to manipulate everyone to feed on their insecurities, so they observe the victim in starting stages of the relationship, that’s the love bombing stage. They will show themselves as the gratified immensely good person they are and how the world is always bad to them. An educated empath in turn, also observes the Narcissist in these starting stages.
If you learn to use your intuition right way and trust it, it will always protect you. I am an intuitive person too, my intuition always tries to tell me something whenever I need protection and I utilise my intuition.
If you educate yourself on Narcissism and your own behaviours that keep you stuck with Narcissists, you will soon learn to come out of the toxic cycle faster with less drama. All Narcissists are scared of being shown the mirror, of their false self-image being broken and educated empaths can do it. Show a Narcissist how inflated their ego is, and they are nowhere close to what they think of themselves.
Using boundaries, you learn to show a Narcissist that all the good qualities they see in themselves are yours, and all the insecurities that they try to project on you to harm your self-worth and keep you stuck in that fog, are all his/her insecurities.
The Narcissist then discards the supply and moves on to a new victim. If you don’t do this, they will anyways discard you after sucking you dry out of the love for yourself, when they have completely ruined you and stolen your identity, they leave, you are not useful to them anymore. They will leave you completely broken & shattered, when you are looking up to them, hoping that they will change. But they don’t change, they know you have sensed that they are not what they were pretending to be, so they leave. They give themselves excuse by saying that you are not as good, positive, energetic person now as they thought you were. Soon you will be out of sight – out of life for them like you never existed for them.
By having boundaries, you can instantly become Narc-repellent. Also, self-love is the only cure to Narcissistic abuse, one day you reach that level of self-love that your happiness comes first than the Narcissist’s, and you become an empowered empath.
The Pretty Smart Techie 