Tag: toxic relationships

Real friendships

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I learnt something new about friendship Today. Read the pictures and then read the below.

And if you are thinking I create content from everything that happens in my life. You are damn right.

I go through shit and share that with the world, so that everyone who reads won’t have to go through the same shit that I went through, because now they have wisdom that comes from learning my life lessons.

Once a friend tried to say that I create content on everything. I think they were jealous actually, of my creativity. I was with a shitty person, who supported me when I got an accidental injury. So all I did was trying to create a YouTube video, on how support helps someone mentally when they are not well. Now I was in pain because of the injury, overall that person also abused me overtime. But this friend should not have a problem with me creating real content. Because whatever shit I am going through, I am still making something that will motivate people and send out a healing message.

I felt guilty and never posted the video. I felt guilty that I should not write about people in my life, but now I don’t think so. I maintain their privacy, but whatever is my part of the story, it’s mine & I own it. And no one can snatch it away from me. Some people used to think that I write about them, now with time they know it’s all about me, my story, my lessons and healing others. Now I am not scared of being me.

So really people should not have a problem with how you create your content if it’s spreading out the right message. The people who stick with me through everything, they never mind if I am sharing something that I learnt from them. They are happy to contribute & be a part of something that heals others also.

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The EGO of being RIGHT

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The more you want to be right, the more in ego you are.

Now I am not saying that there’s something wrong in being right. But there are people who always just want to be right, they will do anything to prove the other person wrong. It’s like a war for them or may give them a sense of control, or maybe power, they can go to extent of manipulation and demeaning you, just to prove themselves right.

For some people it’s so important to be right, then whenever they are wrong, it becomes an argument for them, which they want to win at any cost. ‘My way or the highway’ type of thinking. Why is it so important to be right? Because it satisfies your ego. Or maybe you never learnt what it means to argue as a team to resolve an issue and not make it a war where only one can win. For some people it’s a coping mechanism to feel safe in a relationship, to always have things their way.

It affects our relationships so much. Listening is so important but people don’t realise. This is a behavioural pattern that is also created while growing up. It happens only because of ego, learn to tame your ego and you will have better healthier relationships.

Relationships should be based on ‘In this together’ not against each other.

Think, what matters, a relationship which is win-win for both, or for only one person.

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It’s always the victim who has the power to end the abuse

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Wondering why I think so?

The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?

If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.

(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)

If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.

If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.

Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.

Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.

And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.

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