It’s only you, who needs to accept yourself, no-one else

This is such a great feeling, it’s like an awakening, a realisation of becoming more of myself, who I am meant to be.

Repeat after me “it’s only me who has to be comfortable with my emotions, nobody else, it’s only me who has to accept all parts of myself, nobody else”.

I experienced this whole my life, some 30-50 abusive people told me like 100’s of times that I get defensive. I never learnt to own that part of myself. Because it was a bulk of people, so I thought they might be right. But they weren’t. It might be right for somebody else but not for me.

If someone’s attacking my value, my worth, I freaking want to defend myself. Why won’t I? Who is someone else to tell me about myself and then again tell me that I cannot even defend. I want to defend myself, I don’t want to wait for some prince charming to come and rescue me, I want to do it myself.

I had a toxic ex ghost me, ignore me, block me everywhere and tell me that it’s my fault coz I get angry. Like what we’re you expecting me to be. Women who are used to being limited, tried to make me adjust. Toxic bosses who want to ruin my reputation and say everything that is not true about me and want me to stay silent. Why?

Perhaps when someone’s lying, the biggest threat to them is someone who speaks up, takes a stand for themselves and tells the truth on their face. Other people would come and tell me I should not be defensive, mostly men. I guess they feel threatened if a woman knows how to use her masculine energy.

I really love this feeling of being me. It’s making me think why I didn’t do it earlier. I want to say to every toxic person, that if anyone would try to threaten my value, my worth, my people, my work or anything that I put my time and effort into, I would get defensive. Why won’t I want to be defensive? What’s wrong in it.

Damn, I love this part of me, I don’t mind defending myself, because I speak the most truth when I am defending.

It may be an imperfection to someone, but I love this imperfection. I am so going to own this part of me from now on.

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There’s nothing wrong with you

I am not asking you to stop self-reflection, we all make mistakes and have our lessons to learn. But the part that I am trying to bring light on is-

We have become so robotic, running this life’s race, that we have forgotten what real connections mean. What feeling heard, feeling loved and feeling enough means.

We need to read Instagram posts and watch motivational videos on YouTube, just to remind ourselves that “I am lovable, I can do it, I do deserve it”. We have lost touch with ourselves, so much that in real life there’s no one who tells you this.

That’s how we all live a life feeling not enough, not heard, not lovable, not deserving and then every day looks like a struggle. Everyone goes around facing problems, complaining, being sad, unmotivated, feeling miserable and some even end up creating troubles for others. Only because no one feels good about themselves.

We have created this never-ending loop, maybe it’s time we start appreciating each other, and more than that, start appreciating ourselves, loving ourselves.

I realised this when I am finally over all the negative stuff and I realise, “wow there’s nothing wrong with me, there was nothing wrong with me ever”. But why did I feel like that, because there was no one to say these words to me, and even if some people did, all those problems, all that fog leaves an impression on subconscious that there must be something wrong, otherwise why so many problems. Logically I knew it’s not my fault, but some things still enter your subconscious. Including people who were trying to make me feel like there’s is something wrong with me, all this time. I get to think that this is a problem, probably one that everyone deals with.

Just because your life is full of problems, it does not mean you are not enough, it’s just a part of destiny. So do not entangle what happens on the outside, with what happens on the inside. When you feel good inside, every day is a blessing. Love yourself.

What we talked about here is a deep inner child wound and needs healing.

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Love yourself the way you would love when you find THE ONE

Love yourself first.

Goutam budhdha says you are never going to find anyone who is much deserving of your love more than yourself.Oprah says your cup needs to be full so that you can go and fill other people’s cup.

Love all parts of yourself. The good the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the right, the wrong, the fool, the wise, the weak, the strong and everything. All the mistakes, resentments, pain, everything belongs to you, it’s all you. Learn to see yourself as the whole and accept it.

Healing starts from self acceptance.
Self-reflection works two ways. If it was something wrong that happened to you, love yourself more to overcome the pain. And if it was something that you did wrong, forgive yourself and liberate yourself from the pain.

Before you want someone else to love you completely, why don’t you love yourself?

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