There’s a difference between playing the victim and actually being the victim. Truth hurts!!
Until the victims blames themselves for what happened to them, they can’t heal. The victim has to acknowledge that what happened to him/her, wasn’t her fault. And it was someone else’s fault and also say it on their face.
Speak your truth. Noone has the right to change your side of story.
Life is a journey. Some days you are gonna meet people who share the same path as you. Some days you are gonna meet people who don’t.
Some days you enjoy the present, some other days you plan the future, some days you miss the past. Some days you will find the life to be very easy, other days to be so tough that you want to give up. It’s always going to be two steps forward, one step backwards.
Never give up. Today people may question you, but one day they will understand. All the great man in history, if they had stopped for people, they won’t have achieved their dreams.
So everyone knows I know many Narcissists from my past and with time I have been able to observe them.
They are lazy.. they are damn lazy.
They would tell me not to learn a new thing or try my hands on it, coz I am already doing a lot of things. They even call me fickle minded. Someone first please tell me in which scripture it is mentioned to only have one talent, not more. Why do people go like oh, you are already doing too many things, why would you do one more. It’s simple, I want to do it. My brain wants to expand.
Then after trying to tell you not to do something or putting obstacles, they go do the same thing. Well, what is it now? You trying to steal my ideas?廊
So this is a repeated story with all the Narcs. Some moved to writing, others to blogging, healthy food blogging, motivational speaker, craft, art, Youtubing, makeup artists. So in three years, I had gained a lot of competitors around me. Not like I compete with anyone, but they wanna compete with me.
But I don’t bother much. Why? Because they always give up, they freaking give up. They can’t keep doing the same thing with determination for long. Narc or toxic, they start doing it out of jealousy. They get some admiration, some likes, some ego boost and they think they did it better. So alright, time to chill. And then after some time they get jealous of something else, someone else. They pick up another hobby & the story continues.
On serious note, if you ever deal with a Narc boss. You only have to do one thing. Stick to your plan, work hard, achieve your goals and show them that you don’t give up. Coz, today they may look like having control over you, playing with your self-esteem. But after sometime, they will anyways get bored, but you won’t. You will still keep putting the hard work. They can only do manipulation tactics to distract you, but you can achieve whatever you want. Coz all Empaths have a growth mindset, they are intelligent and they don’t give up.
I still remember the day when everyone voted for this topic on Instagram. And since I always pick up energies, I could feel the underlying energy around it. Which was a feeling of “there has to be some big secret to work on your fears”. I kept thinking, trying to figure out that one thing and never found anything. Then I was facing one more fear of mine which made me think again.
The truth is there’s no secret key to it. It’s simple. You just need to face your fears, head-on.
Now how do we learn to face our fears?
First, you need to become more conscious of yourself. When you raise your self-awareness and self-reflection, you are able to navigate all your emotions in a better way. If there is a subconscious fear that is making you act a certain way, now you will be able to notice it. Whereas earlier you won’t even realise why you have certain behavioural patterns.
Sometimes it can be a drastic situation or abuse, which brings those issues up to surface anyways, even when you don’t want it. But once you are able to acknowledge a fear you will be able to work on it.
When you know what type of fear you are facing, you need to be your own friend pat yourself on the back and encourage yourself that you can do it. The first time you are going to do feeling scared. The second time you would know that you can conquer it. Next time you will see the fear will be gone.
Whatever it is, that you are scared of, do it, do it anyway. For everything, what will happen if you fail, what people would say. Just do what you want to do. Life is all about living right!!
I’m going to explain what shadow work is. When you integrate back the hidden parts of yourself. Sometimes we hide good parts of ourselves or create false beliefs about ourselves, due to social conditioning when we are told that some of our values are wrong, we reject them too. All those parts of ourselves are rejected and that is called the shadow aspect of mind.
There was an English teacher in school, who I respected like anything and always tried to get his appreciation, never ever actually made me feel better. He would compliment other students for their potential, and not me for my growth.
In 8th standard, there was an inter-school debate. A senior student was supposed to go for it, but for some reason she backed out. So I was chosen to deliver a speech so tough. I didn’t know those words, I didn’t get time to memorize those 4 pages and now I think the speech was so long that it was actually out of the time limit that was given. So ultimately, me having not much experience on stage, with no one to encourage me at a new school and actually being under-qualified for the quality for speech that I was given. I was nervous, then I started shaking on the stage. I was scared, people were looking at me into the eye and I just completed as much part as I could and came back and cried.
So the thing is, I kept thinking for years that I have a stage fear, but actually I don’t have. It was just one more identity imposed on me by the wrong people, wrong circumstances, which was not my original self.
The teacher wanted to show his vocabulary skills instead of winning the debate and preparing the students for good. That’s what is called being self-centred. And I kept thinking for years that if he thinks I am not good, maybe I am not. But now look at me, you just completed reading the whole story & I have realised that I love being in the spotlight too.
Give up on the definitions of yourself that society has conditioned you to believe in.
Never let anyone tell you that you are not enough, you deserve less or you can not make it. You have all that it takes.
You know your truth and truth doesn’t need to be proved.
Truth is more powerful than time. Time works out in a way that the truth reveals itself.
Always speak your truth and own it. People who do not face what you face, live what you live, are not equipped to tell you about yourself.
When you finally find who you are, never let anyone walk you out of it about their definition of you. People can be entitled to their version of you, but it does not mean you have to make it your reality. You do you.
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Found the right words finally.. I know it hurts to be learning from your obstacles, when you are in the situation, all you can think is why me. Same happened with me, but when I look back, I can see so many lessons which I might have not learnt if I did not go through those obstacles. So did I learn the lessons that people were trying to teach me. Actually the ones that life was trying to teach me.
I learnt different things. From one I learnt to respect all genders (yes all genders, not only two), another took me back to start painting again, one showed me all my fears and hence I got a chance to work on each one of it. Some showed me the importance of life, importance of family, importance of friendship, meaning of death, to respect all ages, to respect women, to respect equality, to respect myself, to love myself, to be vocal, to travel, some taught me to respect the defined lower tribe, some taught me the meaning of trust, meaning of faith, meaning of hope, meaning of forgiveness, meaning of will power, meaning of love, of pain. Some took me closer to my understanding of my purpose of life. Most of it all, it all made me stronger everytime and my sadness taught me the importance of happiness.
Whatever life throws at you, can be utilized for your growth. It only depends on your attitude and mindset. Everything that life gives, can help you open your mind.
My intention here is not to brag about anything. But i feel grateful that I learnt so much so early in life and maybe I would be able to make a better life now. And i want to spread the message of hope that no matter what you are facing now, the sun will rise and you will shine one day. Don’t give up. Nothing has so much power over you.
Brahmakumaris say “what’s in the way, is the way”.
If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –
The Pretty Smart Techie 