Everyone knows how much I have been through but I am finally learning to completely forgive people who did wrong to me. Except those who don’t respect women and I have still not found a reason to forgive harassers. It’s a crime and it will be.
I walked away from all of you. Some of you are still the same, some of you learnt the lesson and changed, some of you have finally started to self reflect, some of you regret how you hurt me, some of you regret all your past actions and how you kept hurting people, some of you want to restart your life from zero, some of you learnt to work on yourself when you saw me choosing myself over anything.
Never compare yourself to anyone around. Every person is different and perfect in it’s own imperfections.
Don’t get caught up in the cycles of trying to win over people that you envy, just to make your self feel better again. Work on the part that you feel is lacking in you.
It’s very bad karma to try to lower someone else, who has done nothing wrong and is happy. Trying to put obstacles in someone’s happy life, shows your inner miseries. Better just work on yourself then working on winning the race.
And moreover you can save yourself from so much pain if you just learn to not compare yourself with anyone.
Forgive yourself for the past and encourage yourself for the future. Never loose Hope.
You don’t have to be strong to make brave choices. And trust me you will feel so much better about yourself after successfully executing your brave choices.
The shadow is about what parts you have rejected of yourself, when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, you decided to keep them in a box inside you but never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you, just to keep you suppressed and in control.
When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of anyone’s disapproval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely, regardless!!. Shadow work is not only about integrating your rejected parts back, but also about looking at your own wounds, accepting them and healing. When you work on your wounds, you also get to see all of your subconscious fears and insecurities. So shadow work is a lot more than anyone can think, it’s the ultimate self-development.
Dark Night of the soul and shadow work come hand in hand. When your soul hits the dark night, you cannot run away from shadow work anymore. It makes you question everything, everything that social conditioning taught you. The journey is painful, but after going through it, you can experience ultimate fulfilment.
Self-acceptance is a must for self-love. And when you accept your shadow also as your own SELF, you become an empowered individual.
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I still remember the day when everyone voted for this topic on Instagram. And since I always pick up energies, I could feel the underlying energy around it. Which was a feeling of “there has to be some big secret to work on your fears”. I kept thinking, trying to figure out that one thing and never found anything. Then I was facing one more fear of mine which made me think again.
The truth is there’s no secret key to it. It’s simple. You just need to face your fears, head-on.
Now how do we learn to face our fears?
First, you need to become more conscious of yourself. When you raise your self-awareness and self-reflection, you are able to navigate all your emotions in a better way. If there is a subconscious fear that is making you act a certain way, now you will be able to notice it. Whereas earlier you won’t even realise why you have certain behavioural patterns.
Sometimes it can be a drastic situation or abuse, which brings those issues up to surface anyways, even when you don’t want it. But once you are able to acknowledge a fear you will be able to work on it.
When you know what type of fear you are facing, you need to be your own friend pat yourself on the back and encourage yourself that you can do it. The first time you are going to do feeling scared. The second time you would know that you can conquer it. Next time you will see the fear will be gone.
Whatever it is, that you are scared of, do it, do it anyway. For everything, what will happen if you fail, what people would say. Just do what you want to do. Life is all about living right!!
Be yourself. Your truest authentic self. That is what makes you live more.
If you want to experience life to it’s best you need to stop trying to fit in and be you. You have your own light and you cannot keep dimming it for people. I mean who asked a unicorn to act like a horse. You are pink-purple, blue, shiny, glittery, furry, but you are damn better than those black, brown & white horses.
It takes a lot of hard work, struggles and pain to find yourself. And once you know who you are, never turn back.
No matter what the world tells you. You are born to stand out and not fit in. Stop doing what you are not meant to. You do you and the rest will follow. . . . If you liked this post, please like, follow and share with your friends.
P.S. I know this quote is everywhere already but I am not sure who wrote it.
The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?
If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.
(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)
If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.
If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.
Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.
Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.
And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.
We can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. This is a picture taken in my Masi’s wedding, must be the same day 12th May. My cousin sent me this picture from their photo album. I don’t know why the photographer clicked this one, probably because it’s funny. Or maybe he rarely finds kids sleeping like this, so unapologetic.
My sister and I, are not twins, but we have been raised like we are. We wore the same clothes for a long time because we share the same taste. When we started living in hostels, sometimes we would wear the same outfits and not realise why everyone is looking at us, so we decided to never shop the same again. We have stopped caring about it, over time, finally grown up.
It’s fun, to be so free, that you are not shy enough to sleep anywhere if you want to. This is we why don’t fit in, we never learnt to, we make our own way. We always had each other’s back, never had to look up to anyone else.
P.S. I am starting to post non-spiritual content also. Let’s bring the vibe of positive energy.
One of my oldest writes. 18 May 2018. Triggered quite a lot of people that time, though I didn’t realise then that they are fake.
How to recognise toxic friends? That friend who puts a status when you share your failure with them and gets competitive at your success. Who always talk about your not-so-good moments to others and rarely your qualities. People who always find something to blame you for or always make you feel invalidated. Who are probably never there for you, but you are always, no reciprocity. Friends who get jealous, compare your life with theirs, criticize you, discourage you when you talk about your dreams. Definitely wrong types of friends.
I filtered people in my life for quite a good amount of time, say 2 years and I know how healthy friendship feels like. Unhealthy friendship is one of those things that you don’t realise until you experience something better.
Why is it important to cut toxic people out of life? You become like the 5 closest people in your life, so you need to stay away from misery. If you are investing your time in the wrong people, you will have less time for the right people. The right people are those who will always work on themselves & all the issues, to meet you halfway in any kind of relationship. Friendship is an important one, because this is the only relation we get to choose completely by ourselves.
It takes a lot of courage to cut contacts with people, but once you are through the process, you will feel more loved, excited about life & end up thanking yourself for doing it, loving yourself more.
I literally started with feeling guilty of giving up on people, but now I am proud of my decisions. But what if I didn’t give up on them? What if I gave up on myself?? . So give yourself permission to become your truest authentic self. Your journey starts with choosing people who align with it.
A confident person will never try to make anyone feel insecure, only an insecure person will.
I dealt with so many toxic people that this became my Mantra, I have it by heart. As soon as someone tries to put me down or make me feel bad about myself, I look at them and I see their value in their own eyes. It takes me minutes to realise and I don’t stay in the low state for long. Time & experiences make you tough.
Always have a bigger perspective, a person who tries to make anyone feel insecure, is insecure himself. Anyone who demotivates you, doesn’t appreciate your effort, criticizes you, is doing it because probably he can never even put the effort that you are putting in.
Have this by heart, never think twice on those negative voices, take minutes to self-reflect and learn if there is a possibility to improve, otherwise leave the situation there. Do not waste time arguing with stupid people, set boundaries and leave.
They ain’t paying your bills, you ain’t gotta pay them your mind. ✌🏻 Don’t take that shit & own who you are.
When you start shining in your authenticity. Some people start to admire you, but some people try to steal your shine. Like they try to paint the bulb black so it’s 70 Watts shine reduces to 40 Watts shine. But what if you keep turning it up to 100W then 200W. They are going to be like “oh, it’s too bright, it’s too bright, turn it down”. But when you don’t turn it down, they change their way.
Let the darkness fall out because of your light..never dim your light. Show the world your true shine.
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Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.
The Pretty Smart Techie 