Tag: lightworker

Do not test my POWER

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I may look cute but I am not weak. I am a multifaceted and multidimensional being, I can shift my energy into being powerful and fearless at any time. Do not test my fury.

I am an old soul and each life I lived different, as a star in the cosmos a spiritual leader and a warrior, as a man, as a woman, as a healer, as a fighter, as a warrior, as an artist, as a leader, as an innocent person, as an oppressed community, I have been admired, abused, tortured, I have been killed in wars, I have died alone, I have lived in peace and I have lived in chaos too. I have been trained well for lifetimes and do not doubt if there’s a still a type that I can not turn into.

I am a combination of light and dark, where light has conquered the darkness, but if the light would want to use the darkness for good, it will.

I chose to incarnate many times to train myself and went through all that pain to become perfect for my job of a Lightworker in this life. I am going to use what I learnt. So do not doubt what I can bring to the table.

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Shadow Self & Self Acceptance

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The shadow is about what parts you have rejected of yourself, when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, you decided to keep them in a box inside you but never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you, just to keep you suppressed and in control.

When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of anyone’s disapproval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely, regardless!!. Shadow work is not only about integrating your rejected parts back, but also about looking at your own wounds, accepting them and healing. When you work on your wounds, you also get to see all of your subconscious fears and insecurities. So shadow work is a lot more than anyone can think, it’s the ultimate self-development.

Dark Night of the soul and shadow work come hand in hand. When your soul hits the dark night, you cannot run away from shadow work anymore. It makes you question everything, everything that social conditioning taught you. The journey is painful, but after going through it, you can experience ultimate fulfilment.

Self-acceptance is a must for self-love. And when you accept your shadow also as your own SELF, you become an empowered individual.

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Venn Diagram to explain spirituality

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Just my science graduate ass trying to explain spirituality 😅 I made a Venn diagram, I have not done any research but I read a lot online.

15-20% of the population is highly sensitive people and not every highly sensitive person is emotionally and energy sensitive. 10-12% of the entire population is Empaths.

There are some 1,44,000 prophesied original Lightworkers, which makes approx 2% of the world’s current population. Some people believe that 1,44,000 is not a number of Lightworkers but a frequency that they vibrate in. And again not every Empath is a Lightworker.

I did not want to leave people who are not Starseeds but have a life purpose of helping people. So with a little flexibility, I drew two circles, for Lightworkers and Starseeds.

I hope this saves my techies from a lot of confusion.

P.S. Just an attempt to explain the theory, this is not a verified data.

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Sensitives are here to show this world a new way of living.

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People look at highly sensitives and empaths as weak. But they are not.

Some may believe that a sensitive person is triggered easily, but it is not the case. Most of the sensitive people trigger others. They show you your own shadow aspect and what needs to be healed. The same reason why Narcs are always after empaths.

Some look at it as, you need to be careful around a sensitive person about how to talk, how to behave, but it’s actually teaching you a right way of behaviour, it shows you your own patterns, coping mechanisms and reached you an emotionally healthy way of being and respecting boundaries.

Sensitives are not weak, it’s only them, who are so much in touch with their emotions. That they can do the work to heal themselves and others too. “They have what it takes”, to go inward, sit with the pain, observe all the emotions and work on them. They can transmute the energy that comes towards them and bring high vibrational energies into their environment. They have the strength to break the chain of negativity, pain and generation of Ancestral trauma.

Empathy is all that it takes to self-reflect, become self-aware, learn self-love and reach self-fulfilment. You are not awake if you don’t have empathy. A lot of great spiritual teachers define awakening by one quality that is humility. No matter how many spiritual practices you do, but if empathy and compassion are missing, you still have a lot to learn.

Most of the Lightworkers, starseeds, healers, earth Angels, highly spiritual people i.e. all high vibrational souls are highly sensitive. They are here to teach everyone a high vibrational way of connection and relationships.

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Poem – I choose

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I choose.

I choose to be a fighter,
I choose to be a protector,
I choose to be a defender,
I choose to be a nurturer.

I choose to fight the wrong,
I choose to be the voice for justice,
I choose to make the noise,
I choose to be the change,
I choose to be fearless,
I choose to be unstoppable.

I choose to be a rebel, a dreamer, a truth teller, a way shower.
But first, I choose to be a human.

Today is the day when I cannot control my anger anymore. I have seen every kind of pain. Sometimes the pain and anger creeps in and gets on my nerves. Sometimes I wonder why me , why I always had breakthroughs in all those struggles. Then I realise it’s a life of destiny and I choose to take the call to be the voice.

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Don’t sacrifice for people, they know what they are doing

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You think people are hurt and don’t know what they are doing.. They do know it somewhere deep inside, but they choose not to take responsibility for what they do. Just to hide from guilt, regret, shame or being responsible for something.

We take adjustment in relationships to next level, when we think they are not able to realise something. But actually we need to let them realise and do their inner work. You can not save somebody from this pain, by sacrificing on your side. The same pain leads them to grow into a better person.

There is always a limit on what can be forgiven and what can be adjusted. Hurt people, hurt people. It works when you want to forgive someone, but does not if you keep letting someone cross your boundaries.

Any sort of relationship works well only when both sides meet each other half way.

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To fight or not to fight!

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Let’s talk about why taking a stand is important and why it matters to me.

Do you wonder, being an empath and a spiritual person, why do I always talk about haters. There’s not a single person in my followers who leave a negative comment or hate. My haters are only people who I had to deal with in my own life. I took a stand and some hate me for that. Some hate me for “what does she think of herself”. Some hate me for showing them their wounds. Some hate me because I did not take the abuse they were trying to throw on me. Some hate me because I come out stronger everytime. Some hate me thinking that I put hurdles in their easy going life. Some hate me because they blame me for their own issues.

But was it really me who was the source of their pain? Or people do it to themselves. When humans get so overtaken by their ego, that they start to think they can play God. They do all he things they should not and so Karma hits them back. There would be people who are busy hating on me, still reading this post, like someone invited them to read.

People hate me for shaking the system. But what if today I am a target and tomorrow it could be you, someone else more powerful than you could come and crush you like anything. Don’t like that feeling right.

It’s written in Bhagvat Geeta that “No-one can decide your Dharma, only you can”.
The thing you could not stand and what happened to you personally, to stop that thing completely should be your purpose. Because nobody knows tomorrow how many people will be killed for it, only because you did not raise your voice. Geeta is about peace but it also teaches us when to be silent and when not to be.

There’s one thing called collective Karma, you saw something wrong happen, but did nothing about it. Yes, someone else was getting credit for doing it, but sometimes indifference means support. ( Psychologically that’s the bi-stander effect, tomorrow you can be the target too.)

I chose my Dharma. If it was not me, it would be someone else some other day. Truth does not change, only who speaks it and when.

And maybe there’s one thing that people don’t know about me, which causes the problem. Just like Arjuna felt guilty fighting the war, even I do. (Not trying to compare myself to someone, but just trying to show you how it can feel.) It took me time to forgive myself and this was my lesson.” to fight or not to fight, nothing brings peace. You have to find it inside yourself”. I did not fight once and regretted it, so I fought the next time and still found regret.

I felt guilty for fighting against people who were my culprits. Why? I am an empath, that’s my core. I can’t see anyone in pain, but I learnt to forgive myself and let people learn their lessons, I can not save everyone. So I chose to choose my Dharma. They also tried to guilt-trip me, but I was aware, I felt guilty only for my own reasons.

But am I going to stop taking a stand? No, but I would try to do it in a better way. By being my authentic self, I will make people self-reflect and show them the light. I will bring more people to this journey of self-reflection, but my purpose remains same.

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Lightworkers & Jealousy

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While writing this post I had one more title in mind -“Life of a person who has never felt jealousy”. Since being a lightworker I have never experienced jealousy.

This is one more reason that I am always focused on my growth and never comparing myself to others. This is a skill that helps me become a better version of myself every day.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bJjc-gaeUqs&feature=share

In the last three years of working on myself, 2 years went only in accepting that people can get so jealous and do something to harm others. It took me a long time to learn how does it feel to people who can feel jealousy. By the third year, I was already so traumatized that I used to be scared of people getting jealous. Because I just wanted peace, so I started dimming my light. That really put me into so much chaos, felt like God is asking me to stop doing it and then I decided to become my authentic self.

I have seen this whole my life ever since childhood, when I studying for IIT JEE, every time. Some negative people first admire you like anything. And then later they blame you for something stupid or probably enjoy your misfortune. This gives them relief from envy.

This is how big jealousy can get. I meet people every month who are highly jealous and try to trouble me or make fun of me or to traumatize me. They don’t help in time of need and be glad that I am facing some difficulty. This is the effect of jealousy, your soul level goes so low that you can not enjoy other soul being happy.

You can never be happy if you have jealousy in your heart. It burns you from the inside. It took me such a long time to understand all of this because I have never felt jealousy. Never to the point of trying to ruin someone’s life or wishing negative about them. Because I guess being an empath that’s not my nature or maybe because I see the big picture of life or could be because my soul power of purity is quite high relatively ( since I am a lightworker too).

Narcissists also try to make you feel jealous of themselves and others because jealousy is the core emotion they live in. They do it by showing off, trying to make you feel insecure and appreciating/flaunting other people around you. I have faced this so many times, every time I tried to analyse why this negative emotion of lack is rising and what it means, I reached only one conclusion that it’s a manipulation tactic and I didn’t have to do much to burry the emotion, it would just transform. Empaths can generate their own energy and transform the energy directed towards them. The only reason that I felt insecure to even a fraction was because I can absorb other’s energies or their projection upon me, it was never my original self.

Some people who are toxic, still ask me you would have done something, you deserved it, it was your mistake, why would so many people get jealous of only one person. Well I think it’s because probably I am a lightworker and knowing the fact that I got so harmed by others ( Lightworkers are meant to go to dark places, to spread light). Which in turn to a Narcissist will feel like why does she get so much attention from others, that also makes them jealous.

The right answer for why did people get jealous of me, I tried to figure it out for long time, I felt everyone was jealous of different things, but now I know the core. Jealousy is at the soul level, because I am a light being.

It’s not always positive attention that a Narcissist enjoys, but negative too. They want to be either the hero and grandiose or victim of everything, they don’t like someone else shining more than them.

Because I started connecting dots for whole my life, I started feeling like maybe it’s true that I am a lightworker. Since lightworkers have to deal with a lot of shit. Don’t worry my story is good. I always had little breakthroughs in some or the other form because I never gave up.

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.

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Don’t Betray Yourself

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There’s this thing called self-deception, which means self-betrayal.

Some people are going to betray you, sometimes life is going to betray you. But when you start betraying yourself, you also betray people who truly care for you. This brings hell lot of betrayal, so always be careful to not betray yourself.

To betray yourself means to not listen to your own intuition, to self-sabotage and to not let yourself move towards happiness, to give yourself excuses to stay in toxic situations with wrong people. Basically, you remove yourself from moving towards your own true happiness.

Always be true to yourself, that makes your soul happy. It’s your choice if you want to sacrifice or not, but always know the right reason why you are doing it. Because it may not take long until you realise your mistake.

When you love yourself completely, you are always ready to take a leap of faith towards your own happiness. This is a part of self-love to be truly authentic and true to yourself.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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How to Thrive from Abuse | For Empaths

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This is a series of posts that I published on my Facebook page earlier. These are same video channels and concepts that helped me while I was dealing with abusers, coming out of it and healing. I will be happy if it can help even one person out there, because I know how horrible it makes you feel. Please bear with me if the writing is not that high quality in this post, because my focus is only on sharing the knowledge. It is mostly for sensitive people, codependents or Empaths, to learn how to deal with Narcissists or Narcissistic people. This process may take several months, go through each point one by one, I think to go through each of the YouTube channels week by week would be better.

1. Learn to speak up right


Let’s start our training with first being a pro at communication at work.
Dan O Connor’s YouTube channel is the best for that. Sometimes I wonder why this guy is not super popular yet. Really good at this work.

https://youtu.be/oEWhhEUP6WQ

So to save you from any kind of issues, conflicts and bullying you need to be most professional, not including your personal life at work saves you from a lot of shit.

I used to not have boundaries and hence an open person, so personal stuff goes out and troubles come in. Sometimes I was closed off but my blog did the work of revealing my personal life. Learn to keep your communication straight, so people know you can not be marked as an easy target.

About me, I am good. I have learnt a lot from my mistakes and I know how to deal with things. People know I’m not be messed up with anymore. About work, juggling two things at a time does create problems, but it becomes more if you work in a toxic environment. India it’s more, because people don’t want to kind their own work. Always choose the right company with right environment for yourself.

P.S. Indian corporate system could be improved like anything, if we all had professional communication trainings as a part of our studies or workshops. If everyone works on these things, there will be noone to taken as target and no one who is a bully. Because everyone knows the right ethical way to work. This could make everyone so productive. Yes, bullies with any kind of psychological problems can also be trained for regulated/controlled behaviour.

2. How to deal with toxic people

This is the method to Taichi away a toxic argument with any abusive person.

You can do this for the other person also, sometimes even Narcissists go into decompensating state, not arguing but highly unstable state, mostly after you show them the mirror. I used to repeat pure, loveful, peaceful, strong and powerful soul for them too. Without giving away my power, I could sometimes calm down the other person also. Why to pray for an abusive person? It’s beneficial for both people in the situation, plus you are only earning some good Karma.

https://youtu.be/oEWhhEUP6WQhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Dc_ZOjt0QFA

I use one more technique, which I learnt from Brahmakumaris, if you know Rajyoga, it’s pretty easy. Imagine yourself as a point of light in your forehead between the eyebrows, and repeat I am a pure loveful peaceful soul.

I love Meredith Miller’s channel, learnt quite a few things from here. Her work is simple and easy to understand, plus doesn’t get you addicted to binge-watching videos on Narcissism. Her content is always on point.

3. Let’s make it a bit lighter


I love Sacha Slone’s all videos.. she is awesome, makes it so light-hearted. When I was being abused watching her videos was always kinda making me happy again. She always reminds that you have power in all situations and to not give your power away. After all, an educated empath is a Narcissist’s biggest nightmare.
Yup, I am saying that I am the biggest nightmare in some people’s life, even after being a lightworker. Coz that’s what I am meant to be, I show them the mirror they don’t want to see. What else could bring the change?

https://youtu.be/uhRyH2B41xI

I remember one video about “how to have fun with your Narcissist”. Don’t try it if you know that it could bring you more trouble if backfired. But I did try to test if my perception of someone being a Narcissist is correct or not… it worked. After facing so many Narcs it’s not that difficult for me to figure out who is who.. and since I have healthy boundaries now, some toxic people who want to put in the effort, I still do talk to them. Because I set clear expectations like if they do this or that, I will not take it and it will be over. That’s what I mean by training a toxic person to have the right behaviour towards me.

“You always teach people how to treat you, by how you treat yourself.” Don’t let people treat you like shit, don’t reward the behaviour, otherwise they create a perception that you are meant to be treated like this.

Just always respect yourself first, always love yourself first. Set boundaries, don’t give your power away. Don’t keep accepting wrong behaviour from people just to avoid confrontation or to avoid hurting someone.

This video is about how Narcissists make themselves look like a victim. Because actually they do twist the reality in their head, that’s what their disorder is all about. Even intelligent people can get fooled, because they cannot sense the lies. How can you catch the lie, if the other person believed it’s actually true. So Narcissist go around, smearing about you to everyone, that you are a bad person. And then you see the backlash from everyone, not only the Narcissist, without knowing what happened. Hence Narcissistic abuse don’t always come from only one person. But actually from a group of people. Which is called scapegoating, I was scapegoated hell lot of times, being lightworker. Scapegoating means to project insecurities of everyone of a group on a single person.

I put this video intentionally so people realise what I was facing who were in the dynamic of being turned against me by a Narcissist. Everyone must have heard that I am fake, when I am not.

4. Work on your fears

After working on all the things in my life, changing perspective about my career, my relationships, my health. Coming out of depression when all the problems were finally over. This was the last fear that I had to face.


This is from Candace van Del’s channel. I love all of her videos. When it comes to working on fears, you may generally be thinking about the fear of failure, rejection or betrayal. But there so many fears that anyone can have at the subconscious level. So here’s a list of few :
Fear of abandoned, fear of being trapped, fear of not being heard, not being seen, fear of annihilation, fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal, fear of the unknown, fear of being different, fear of being called crazy, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being judged, fear of being laughed at. And the last one fear of abandonment and enmeshment.

https://youtu.be/T-LBeHVhvMA

I knew and understood everything how my subconscious programming made me to hide my authentic self. But I was still scared to show the real me to the world. I had a fear of –
“If I show the original me, will I have to loose all the people in my life who I love. But if I don’t do that then I will have to keep living the same old life and it would suffocate me again”

Sit was more like fear of being left out in the cold for shining my light. So I understood how my mind is trying to trick me to not step into the greater possibilities out of fear. And I chose to work through it. And I feel everyone can see the change in me.

Conclusion- only way to work on fears is to just identify that this is a kind of fear that I have. After you address it. It will still come out the next time you face the same situation, but you will tell yourself that “no, this is just a fear. I want to do new things and explore, with hope.” That’s all you need to do and you will notice the fear itself will leave after one or two strikes.

5. Empaths in Recovery

This guy’s channel is great for recovering empaths..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=tb6pxGK6mF8

This was the only place where I learnt how my nervous system needs to calm down first and then my mind can.

Just recommending it for any Empaths or highly sensitive people.

6. Codependency recovery & Self-love abundance

So if you have been following the last 5 posts. Now you would be at the right state of mind to learn about this one. Ross Rosenberg has created a definite approach for codependency recovery.

What is codependency? If you are an empath, there might be a slight chance that you also deal with this. It’s more like a trait, not a disorder. It’s just that you depend on other people’s opinion of you, you choose to be with abusive people than being alone, people-pleasing, always keep others above yourself on the priority list.

https://youtu.be/mMPaKJfrZrA

This happens because most of the empaths, do not have boundaries. And because of their empathy, they think other people are also as good as them. But that’s not the reality, abusive/toxic people use your Empathy against you to manipulate you. And day by day they hit at your self-respect, self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence. So if you do not learn to love yourself first, being an empath you are always going to get stuck in this dynamic. This is why Empaths attract Narcissists around them, once you are healed Narcissists can still come around. But their behaviour will piss you off quite fast, you cannot stand someone stepping on your boundaries.

Empaths can be of three types healthy, codependent or proud helpers (Abdul Saab’s channel). The proud helper has a good probability to move towards codependency. When I started learning about spirituality, empathy all these things, I made helping people my purpose, which still is. But I did not do it the right way, so I moved towards codependency. Then I had to cut off all those people who were toxic and had to set boundaries, learn to say NO again, learn to keep myself first be again. Kept practising this and I was out of depression too. The process took only 4-5 months (not 1-1.5 years as mentioned in the video, I feel you can transform very fast when you are spiritual, or maybe the psychologist just wanted to keep the timeline very general) to make myself better and later all was just gaining my complete confidence back.

Including this channel with all other video channels that I have shared, will do the work. You will have a complete guide to recover from any type of issues, especially if you are a sensitive person.

It is very useful content, quite useful for Indians, as in India we treat codependency as a value. Which should not be the case, it doesn’t bring you happiness. When you move from self-love deficiency to self-love abundance, you heal, you become happy, you enjoy mutual relationships and live a happy life. You stop caring about anyone else is going to think, all you think about is what makes you happy. ☺️

P.S. I am proud to say that I am a healed & empowered empath. We are called super empaths & we know how to use our gifts for humanity.

This was the first series, I will probably add one more on confidence coaching & self-love on how to become confident again after abuse.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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