Tag: heal yourself

Fear of Abandonment

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Fear of abandonment is the first thing which is common in both Narcissists and codependent Empaths. It keeps them both stuck in a toxic cycle.

Codependents take abuse only because of their fear of abandonment. Narcissists manipulate people, so when they sense that their mask is falling off and the victim can see it, they escalate the abuse.

Fear of abandonment makes people not trust, not be in touch with their emotions and run away at the slightest chance of abandonment. Where it gets difficult is maybe there is no one even thinking about abandoning the person, but they will keep reacting to their own fear and ruin a stable relationship. It causes a lot of inner turmoil to accept the truth.

This fear makes you feel like even good things are too good to be true. It’s an inner child wound and most of the time it comes from childhood trauma. The person needs to do inner child work, work on self-love and improve the self-talk, replace negative thoughts with rational thoughts & positive affirmations. And sometimes let that fear become real, let someone abandon you, process all your emotions that come after it for once, the fear will be gone. Time heals everything.

I know it’s easier said than done. But a temporary pain can heal your fears for a lifetime. You stayed with this fear for decades and it doesn’t feel good to live in fear. Let’s overcomes it for once and enjoy a happy emotional life.

All the best for your self-love and healing journey. Healing is selfless deed and Universe appreciates & supports everyone who is trying to heal themselves.
When you heal, blessings will soon be revealed. Sending you love and light  XOXOXO 

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How does cord cutting work | Healing

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I keep mentioning about cord cutting, so I thought of explaining how it works.

You can meditate on your own or choose a guided meditation. Guided meditations are mostly about cutting the cord, but some people suggest to do a cord removal and not to just cut it. So I usually take guided meditations and add my own steps in it.

What’s a chord?
Whoever you interact with, leaves energy in your body, to be specific your chakras. There are 7 chakras, each symbolises a different energy. So suppose if someone hurt you, that created an energy imbalance in your heart chakram so every emotional trauma is ultimately stored in your body. If someone oppressed you, that’s in throat chakra. If someone tried to manipulate reality and told what your intuition says is not true, it goes into third eye chakra. Gaslighting affects base chakra. If someone doubted your potential, that goes into sacral chakra. And many more, mostly in the lower 6th chakra, 7th chakra is connected to your soul’s higher self, it’s not about other people.

So when you do energy clearing with a particular person, you are trying to remove attachment traumas, wounds or negative energies related to them. For every person you will find that different chakras have been affected. You can feel a tingly feeling or pain in that chakra. Those chakras are having chords to this person, you have to heal it. I usually had 2-3 chakra related to each person.

You imagine yourself surrounded with white healing light asking archangel Michael to do cord cutting ( he is the only angel with a sword, angel of protection). If you want to actually do cord removal, also practice saying ” I forgive you, I love you, please forgive me, I want to end this karmic energy here” or something familiar. Now when you imagine a cord being cut, after that imagine that hole/void & both people being healed with white light.

So cutting cords is only about cutting negative energies with that person, positive energy still remains. Now your relationship with this person could either improve or they would leave. Sometimes Narcissists from your past can sense it, so they come back, but you have to not respond to them one more time. After the cord cutting, you can still have thoughts about that person for few days, but this time it will be resolving your issues and transforming into wisdom.

At a point, I had to cut cords with a lot of people. I have been able to cut cords with more than 10 people in one go ( I remember because I write down all my experiences from meditations. That’s a lot but I am not going to dim my light anymore). Stop, when you start feeling tired. Also, don’t try cord cutting with a twin flame, there are no cords, you are same soul and it’s not going to work and it will hurt more.

Sometimes you will find that there is still some energy left for a person, so do the meditation again. The meditation itself, will reveal more chords to you, with the name of the person it is related to. Sometimes those people won’t even be on your list of toxic relationships. Some people that you have already walked away from, their cords would just be waiting for you to release it.

The reason you find unexpected chords during meditation is because we tend to forget and not realise who manipulated us, but our energy remembers. So your soul will try to reveal it in meditations. You will not find a single negative chord for healthy relationships in your life.

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Shadow Self & Self Acceptance

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The shadow is about what parts you have rejected of yourself, when you were told by someone else, your environment and your society that it’s not good to be different, strong or opinionated. It’s just about your rejected characteristics, you decided to keep them in a box inside you but never use them. And possibly, all characteristics out of those were not as bad as someone told you, just to keep you suppressed and in control.

When you integrate your shadow-self back within you, after that there’s no shadow anymore, it all becomes you. You can love all parts of yourself and not be afraid of anyone’s disapproval. You just need to accept yourself, let everyone else do there bid. You love yourself completely, regardless!!. Shadow work is not only about integrating your rejected parts back, but also about looking at your own wounds, accepting them and healing. When you work on your wounds, you also get to see all of your subconscious fears and insecurities. So shadow work is a lot more than anyone can think, it’s the ultimate self-development.

Dark Night of the soul and shadow work come hand in hand. When your soul hits the dark night, you cannot run away from shadow work anymore. It makes you question everything, everything that social conditioning taught you. The journey is painful, but after going through it, you can experience ultimate fulfilment.

Self-acceptance is a must for self-love. And when you accept your shadow also as your own SELF, you become an empowered individual.

Please like, comment, share and let me know if it helped you. Don’t forget to follow my blog for more such posts.

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Broken crayons can also color & they color better.

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🌈BROKEN TO UN-BROKEN.

This is for every one of us, who is working on healing. One day we will achieve what we dream for.

You do not have to stay broken.

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It’s always the victim who has the power to end the abuse

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Wondering why I think so?

The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?

If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.

(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)

If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.

If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.

Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.

Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.

And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.

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You do not have to stay BROKEN

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And one day you will be whole and feel in complete in yourself.

This one is so close to my heart, nobody actually knows how much I have been through, a series of unlimited problems, that broke me to the core. But I never gave up and finally I am starting to feel whole again with myself. I am falling in love with myself again.

No matter how hard I try, I can not express this into words. I felt as if the whole world was against me and I questioned why nobody tried to help me, and they I broke into tears realising how many forces were with me trying to help me all this long, something brought so many breakthroughs for me. I cannot be grateful enough.

Remember, what you are going through today, will make you tough like a diamond tomorrow and you will shine. Never give up, never leave hope. Time will change, it may take years, but it will.

P.S. Sometimes all you need is a good cry.

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Learn to give yourself Permission

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Do you feel that people will not allow you to be your best version? It’s just a self limiting belief, a mental block and a subtle example of victim consciousness.

I have been through this too, I was scared if people will be able to accept me being my best version or not. Now I realise I was actually scared of myself, because I had never been the great person that I had the potential to become.

If you think people will not let you live your best life, probably you have too many toxic people in your life & you might need to start removing them from your life. Because they might want you to be stuck with them in misery when they see you growing. Learn to give yourself priority and set boundaries straight with them.

For the bigger picture, the whole world, everywhere on this planet earth, everything operates on two things – control & fear. If you are going to wait for people to give you permission to become free, fearless and authentic. That’s never going to happen for real, so it’s only you who can give yourself permission to be your best, no one else can. Learn to give yourself permission. Don’t wait for people to validate you, just do it.

People who love you truly, will appreciate the change. Most likely everyone is going to love you more than you expected. Toxic people will start seeing what God has ordained on your life & leave you alone. You will also get a chance to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore, by looking at people who don’t like the change in you.

When you become your authentic self, every aspect of your life, all your relationships will transform for good.

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To fight or not to fight!

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Let’s talk about why taking a stand is important and why it matters to me.

Do you wonder, being an empath and a spiritual person, why do I always talk about haters. There’s not a single person in my followers who leave a negative comment or hate. My haters are only people who I had to deal with in my own life. I took a stand and some hate me for that. Some hate me for “what does she think of herself”. Some hate me for showing them their wounds. Some hate me because I did not take the abuse they were trying to throw on me. Some hate me because I come out stronger everytime. Some hate me thinking that I put hurdles in their easy going life. Some hate me because they blame me for their own issues.

But was it really me who was the source of their pain? Or people do it to themselves. When humans get so overtaken by their ego, that they start to think they can play God. They do all he things they should not and so Karma hits them back. There would be people who are busy hating on me, still reading this post, like someone invited them to read.

People hate me for shaking the system. But what if today I am a target and tomorrow it could be you, someone else more powerful than you could come and crush you like anything. Don’t like that feeling right.

It’s written in Bhagvat Geeta that “No-one can decide your Dharma, only you can”.
The thing you could not stand and what happened to you personally, to stop that thing completely should be your purpose. Because nobody knows tomorrow how many people will be killed for it, only because you did not raise your voice. Geeta is about peace but it also teaches us when to be silent and when not to be.

There’s one thing called collective Karma, you saw something wrong happen, but did nothing about it. Yes, someone else was getting credit for doing it, but sometimes indifference means support. ( Psychologically that’s the bi-stander effect, tomorrow you can be the target too.)

I chose my Dharma. If it was not me, it would be someone else some other day. Truth does not change, only who speaks it and when.

And maybe there’s one thing that people don’t know about me, which causes the problem. Just like Arjuna felt guilty fighting the war, even I do. (Not trying to compare myself to someone, but just trying to show you how it can feel.) It took me time to forgive myself and this was my lesson.” to fight or not to fight, nothing brings peace. You have to find it inside yourself”. I did not fight once and regretted it, so I fought the next time and still found regret.

I felt guilty for fighting against people who were my culprits. Why? I am an empath, that’s my core. I can’t see anyone in pain, but I learnt to forgive myself and let people learn their lessons, I can not save everyone. So I chose to choose my Dharma. They also tried to guilt-trip me, but I was aware, I felt guilty only for my own reasons.

But am I going to stop taking a stand? No, but I would try to do it in a better way. By being my authentic self, I will make people self-reflect and show them the light. I will bring more people to this journey of self-reflection, but my purpose remains same.

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Only insecure people try to make others feel insecure

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A confident person will never try to make anyone feel insecure, only an insecure person will.

I dealt with so many toxic people that this became my Mantra, I have it by heart. As soon as someone tries to put me down or make me feel bad about myself, I look at them and I see their value in their own eyes. It takes me minutes to realise and I don’t stay in the low state for long. Time & experiences make you tough.

Always have a bigger perspective, a person who tries to make anyone feel insecure, is insecure himself. Anyone who demotivates you, doesn’t appreciate your effort, criticizes you, is doing it because probably he can never even put the effort that you are putting in.

Have this by heart, never think twice on those negative voices, take minutes to self-reflect and learn if there is a possibility to improve, otherwise leave the situation there. Do not waste time arguing with stupid people, set boundaries and leave.

They ain’t paying your bills, you ain’t gotta pay them your mind. ✌🏻 Don’t take that shit & own who you are.

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Don’t Betray Yourself

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There’s this thing called self-deception, which means self-betrayal.

Some people are going to betray you, sometimes life is going to betray you. But when you start betraying yourself, you also betray people who truly care for you. This brings hell lot of betrayal, so always be careful to not betray yourself.

To betray yourself means to not listen to your own intuition, to self-sabotage and to not let yourself move towards happiness, to give yourself excuses to stay in toxic situations with wrong people. Basically, you remove yourself from moving towards your own true happiness.

Always be true to yourself, that makes your soul happy. It’s your choice if you want to sacrifice or not, but always know the right reason why you are doing it. Because it may not take long until you realise your mistake.

When you love yourself completely, you are always ready to take a leap of faith towards your own happiness. This is a part of self-love to be truly authentic and true to yourself.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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