Karmic posted something to tell me that my success will be short lived and I should not let it get to my head. She is dumb to think that success will fall into her lap without doing any hard work. That’s why she is a failure. And she thinks, to be successful she needs to outwork others, she means she always needs to compete with others and bring them down. She wrote about herself but projected onto me that my success will be short-lived.
Continue readingTag: Gaslighting
It’s only you, who needs to accept yourself, no-one else
This is such a great feeling, it’s like an awakening, a realisation of becoming more of myself, who I am meant to be.
Repeat after me “it’s only me who has to be comfortable with my emotions, nobody else, it’s only me who has to accept all parts of myself, nobody else”.
I experienced this whole my life, some 30-50 abusive people told me like 100’s of times that I get defensive. I never learnt to own that part of myself. Because it was a bulk of people, so I thought they might be right. But they weren’t. It might be right for somebody else but not for me.
If someone’s attacking my value, my worth, I freaking want to defend myself. Why won’t I? Who is someone else to tell me about myself and then again tell me that I cannot even defend. I want to defend myself, I don’t want to wait for some prince charming to come and rescue me, I want to do it myself.
I had a toxic ex ghost me, ignore me, block me everywhere and tell me that it’s my fault coz I get angry. Like what we’re you expecting me to be. Women who are used to being limited, tried to make me adjust. Toxic bosses who want to ruin my reputation and say everything that is not true about me and want me to stay silent. Why?
Perhaps when someone’s lying, the biggest threat to them is someone who speaks up, takes a stand for themselves and tells the truth on their face. Other people would come and tell me I should not be defensive, mostly men. I guess they feel threatened if a woman knows how to use her masculine energy.
I really love this feeling of being me. It’s making me think why I didn’t do it earlier. I want to say to every toxic person, that if anyone would try to threaten my value, my worth, my people, my work or anything that I put my time and effort into, I would get defensive. Why won’t I want to be defensive? What’s wrong in it.
Damn, I love this part of me, I don’t mind defending myself, because I speak the most truth when I am defending.
It may be an imperfection to someone, but I love this imperfection. I am so going to own this part of me from now on.
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#prettysmarttechie #accept #selfacceotance #ownwhoyouare #comfortable #selflove #badbitch #defensive #defence #defendyourself #authenticity
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How Narcissistic friends react when you decide to leave them
I was gaslighted by one more Narcissist and it made me step out of my integrity. That’s how they make you feel when you call their behaviour out. That’s why it’s always better to block them rather than trying to make them talk through the problems rationally. Because they are not rational at all. They just try to Gaslight you, to make you step out of integrity so that they can get some lie to tell themselves and others, against you. And also to dump their shame on you.
All a Narcissist is a toddler who never got the right emotional intimacy from their parents. All they know is how to get things done by their toddler tantrums. When you tell them you want to end things or call their behaviour out or demand more effort from them. They don’t go into a state of self-reflection and apologize but turn into a toddler who wants his toy back, who wants you to behave his way. They go into the state of “you are such a bad person, you are the devil, why are you doing this to me, you are hurting me”. Because now his fear of abandonment is standing in front of him, his biggest fear which turns these adult children into an abusive person. And if they can’t get their way, they want to abandon you, before you abandon them.
They go on blaming you for not understanding that they are different, and how you are doing wrong, how you are not giving them freedom for being themselves, how their priority is work and not you, and how they should be able to suppress you. And all you do is ask them one question if they talk to you only twice a year, and friendships are not even their priority, nor even our priorities match, nor it’s a mutual friendship, then why do they have a problem letting you go? They will also blame you for not trying to meet them personally in years, in return for their little efforts to even talk to you and always ignoring your phone calls.
Can you see how the flow of conversation goes from once they are sorry to next time they are blaming you, from once they are not ready to change and next time they want you to change according to them. That’s Gaslighting. To put so many ups and downs of emotions in your brain that it can’t understand what’s happening and gives up into reacting, the reaction that they want from you. So that they can later clarify themselves as you were the wrong person, and that’s why it did not work. That’s called blame-shifting, it’s again a manipulation tactic. My old school friend even flip flopped from saying that it’s my caring nature because of which we always talk about his miserable life and not me, to saying that I should not be wanting to help people because people don’t want help. He even used projections on me and when I confronted him about that behaviour, he said it’s rational, to project his thinking onto others because everyone thinks others are also like him. Now, this was not a rational thinker at all.
My ex school friend really tried to make me feel insecure, he said people don’t need anyone to help them, they want to learn their lessons on their own. Okay so then don’t follow my blog, no one is forcing you to. But don’t you dare snatch my dreams away and snap on my life purpose. Do you think this kind of people can ever be true friends?
On my bday these toxic people came back, bringing my energy down on my Birthday, I spent 3 hours helping these people to sort themselves. That’s what they do, they use every opportunity to score their supply back, they use all festivals, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Diwali, new year, all occasions. But all the conversation still remains about them and not sharing happiness, they can’t see people being happy on Christmas/Diwali also, because they themselves can not experience the emotions of true happiness. When they come back by making excuses and fake stories, it’s called hoovering, their attempt to come back and check on you if you are still holding boundaries with them or now your guard is down after the Silent treatment of some days. Strangely, in my case, as I am an empowered empath now, the silent treatment is never on me, I actually decide to not give in to their toddle tantrums and silent treatment. What they want to happen is you to plead them for forgiveness, for their own mistakes. I never fall into this trap, because I can see through the bigger picture now.
I also tried to cut cords a few weeks back, with the same three people who were trying to come back. By chord cutting, you pull your energy back and they can sense it on an energy level, so they try to manipulate you again into their dirty mind games. And look at me, I was wondering why these people are back even after cutting chords, are they not the wrong people? They were just trying their last bit on me, I hold my ground and finally got rid of these people.
This school friend blamed me for leaving him behind because I have outgrown. Is that even a thing for real? With my true friends, I never had to question our friendship to such level, to check if we are still resonating with each other or not. They were there for me when I was fighting depression, giving me hours a day, they stuck with me through my “dark night of the soul” phase and celebrated all my happiness together. They were the pillars who held me from falling off in those tough times. Never left my side, no matter what and always supported me, never ever tried to make me feel insecure, even once, I am talking about 10 years of friendship. This is what real friendship is, your true friends grow with you, never feel jealous of you, always work through all the issues, never make you feel like you are not a priority in their life.
In the end, I said he ‘N’ word. Finally, I said, “I am used to these arguments with Narcissists, so he should not think that I don’t know what he is trying to do”. Then this guy just blocked me after blaming me for ruining his day where I kept insisting through the whole conversation to not argue and end it peacefully. So finally I had a grand finale with one more Narcissist yesterday. Taking time to recharge myself after so much Gaslighting and fighting the emotional manipulation.
All these Narcissist have a common tactic to use words from my own blog to make me feel insecure. I am in this field for 4 years now got enough experience, and got used this behaviour also. They keep tabs on my words, I keep a tab on them. Uhh.. they all have the same single pattern, which can not change, ever.
That’s what all the Narcissists do. Some toxic people ask me I must have done something to attract so much trouble and why so many Narcissists come after me. The answer is, I do, I trigger them. Whenever I posted something related to psychology, Empaths and Narcissists. Some of the other people thought it’s about them and started giving me a difficult time. I struggled to learn why they misunderstood me, the post was not about them. Later I learnt to see their true faces. They know themselves better than anyone else. They sense that I might have discovered who they are, so they discard me and start all the scapegoating, manipulation and ruminating me for being a fake person.
I am still trying to replenish my energy and heal from that. But what we need to do here is not give in to the drama again. Every time an empath goes back to a Narcissist, next time he will be discarded in a far more cruel way than the last time. This is the time to use your head over your heart, empaths. Because the Narcissist is also playing games with the head only they don’t have a pure heart as you do. Hold your ground, and show the Narcissist that you will not give in to their mind games, and they will leave you, to look for another supply.
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prettysmarttechie #intuitive #psychic #lightworker #starseed #narcissist #empath #narcissisticabuse #fightabuse #abuserecovery #thrivenotsurvive #narcissisticFriends
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To fight or not to fight!
Let’s talk about why taking a stand is important and why it matters to me.
Do you wonder, being an empath and a spiritual person, why do I always talk about haters. There’s not a single person in my followers who leave a negative comment or hate. My haters are only people who I had to deal with in my own life. I took a stand and some hate me for that. Some hate me for “what does she think of herself”. Some hate me for showing them their wounds. Some hate me because I did not take the abuse they were trying to throw on me. Some hate me because I come out stronger everytime. Some hate me thinking that I put hurdles in their easy going life. Some hate me because they blame me for their own issues.
But was it really me who was the source of their pain? Or people do it to themselves. When humans get so overtaken by their ego, that they start to think they can play God. They do all he things they should not and so Karma hits them back. There would be people who are busy hating on me, still reading this post, like someone invited them to read.
People hate me for shaking the system. But what if today I am a target and tomorrow it could be you, someone else more powerful than you could come and crush you like anything. Don’t like that feeling right.
It’s written in Bhagvat Geeta that “No-one can decide your Dharma, only you can”.
The thing you could not stand and what happened to you personally, to stop that thing completely should be your purpose. Because nobody knows tomorrow how many people will be killed for it, only because you did not raise your voice. Geeta is about peace but it also teaches us when to be silent and when not to be.
There’s one thing called collective Karma, you saw something wrong happen, but did nothing about it. Yes, someone else was getting credit for doing it, but sometimes indifference means support. ( Psychologically that’s the bi-stander effect, tomorrow you can be the target too.)
I chose my Dharma. If it was not me, it would be someone else some other day. Truth does not change, only who speaks it and when.
And maybe there’s one thing that people don’t know about me, which causes the problem. Just like Arjuna felt guilty fighting the war, even I do. (Not trying to compare myself to someone, but just trying to show you how it can feel.) It took me time to forgive myself and this was my lesson.” to fight or not to fight, nothing brings peace. You have to find it inside yourself”. I did not fight once and regretted it, so I fought the next time and still found regret.
I felt guilty for fighting against people who were my culprits. Why? I am an empath, that’s my core. I can’t see anyone in pain, but I learnt to forgive myself and let people learn their lessons, I can not save everyone. So I chose to choose my Dharma. They also tried to guilt-trip me, but I was aware, I felt guilty only for my own reasons.
But am I going to stop taking a stand? No, but I would try to do it in a better way. By being my authentic self, I will make people self-reflect and show them the light. I will bring more people to this journey of self-reflection, but my purpose remains same.
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#empath #lightworker #indigochild #indigostarseed #starseed #spiritualwarrior #spirituality #postoftheday #takestand #beyou #fightfortruth #truth #fightagainstabuse #shinebright #ownwhoyouare #corruption #bethechange
The Pretty Smart Techie 