Learn to give yourself Permission

Do you feel that people will not allow you to be your best version? It’s just a self limiting belief, a mental block and a subtle example of victim consciousness.

I have been through this too, I was scared if people will be able to accept me being my best version or not. Now I realise I was actually scared of myself, because I had never been the great person that I had the potential to become.

If you think people will not let you live your best life, probably you have too many toxic people in your life & you might need to start removing them from your life. Because they might want you to be stuck with them in misery when they see you growing. Learn to give yourself priority and set boundaries straight with them.

For the bigger picture, the whole world, everywhere on this planet earth, everything operates on two things – control & fear. If you are going to wait for people to give you permission to become free, fearless and authentic. That’s never going to happen for real, so it’s only you who can give yourself permission to be your best, no one else can. Learn to give yourself permission. Don’t wait for people to validate you, just do it.

People who love you truly, will appreciate the change. Most likely everyone is going to love you more than you expected. Toxic people will start seeing what God has ordained on your life & leave you alone. You will also get a chance to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore, by looking at people who don’t like the change in you.

When you become your authentic self, every aspect of your life, all your relationships will transform for good.

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To fight or not to fight!

Let’s talk about why taking a stand is important and why it matters to me.

Do you wonder, being an empath and a spiritual person, why do I always talk about haters. There’s not a single person in my followers who leave a negative comment or hate. My haters are only people who I had to deal with in my own life. I took a stand and some hate me for that. Some hate me for “what does she think of herself”. Some hate me for showing them their wounds. Some hate me because I did not take the abuse they were trying to throw on me. Some hate me because I come out stronger everytime. Some hate me thinking that I put hurdles in their easy going life. Some hate me because they blame me for their own issues.

But was it really me who was the source of their pain? Or people do it to themselves. When humans get so overtaken by their ego, that they start to think they can play God. They do all he things they should not and so Karma hits them back. There would be people who are busy hating on me, still reading this post, like someone invited them to read.

People hate me for shaking the system. But what if today I am a target and tomorrow it could be you, someone else more powerful than you could come and crush you like anything. Don’t like that feeling right.

It’s written in Bhagvat Geeta that “No-one can decide your Dharma, only you can”.
The thing you could not stand and what happened to you personally, to stop that thing completely should be your purpose. Because nobody knows tomorrow how many people will be killed for it, only because you did not raise your voice. Geeta is about peace but it also teaches us when to be silent and when not to be.

There’s one thing called collective Karma, you saw something wrong happen, but did nothing about it. Yes, someone else was getting credit for doing it, but sometimes indifference means support. ( Psychologically that’s the bi-stander effect, tomorrow you can be the target too.)

I chose my Dharma. If it was not me, it would be someone else some other day. Truth does not change, only who speaks it and when.

And maybe there’s one thing that people don’t know about me, which causes the problem. Just like Arjuna felt guilty fighting the war, even I do. (Not trying to compare myself to someone, but just trying to show you how it can feel.) It took me time to forgive myself and this was my lesson.” to fight or not to fight, nothing brings peace. You have to find it inside yourself”. I did not fight once and regretted it, so I fought the next time and still found regret.

I felt guilty for fighting against people who were my culprits. Why? I am an empath, that’s my core. I can’t see anyone in pain, but I learnt to forgive myself and let people learn their lessons, I can not save everyone. So I chose to choose my Dharma. They also tried to guilt-trip me, but I was aware, I felt guilty only for my own reasons.

But am I going to stop taking a stand? No, but I would try to do it in a better way. By being my authentic self, I will make people self-reflect and show them the light. I will bring more people to this journey of self-reflection, but my purpose remains same.

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People don’t get their Karma, they live their Karma

If you ever wonder why bad people don’t get their Karma back. Truth is they are already living with their karma.

The reason they do all those bad deeds unconsciously, their unconsciousness itself is their karma.

Highly unconscious people try to gain power by manipulating or controlling other’s in their life. And they do get it, but deep inside they know that all those people may not love them for their original self. How petty it is to live like that, always wondering if people would love them for their true self. They live in constant pain, still trying to keep everything together by hook or crook, that’s their Karma to live in constant fear of being abandoned.

For the fun part – It’s just a little bit different in my life, being a lightworker I can see everyone’s true self also but I still love them unconditionally. Every soul has love & purity inside but some have forgotten it. When I do that I show them the possibility of what life can be if they change. Kinda like I become their Karma to remember me as an example for their whole life.

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Lightworkers & Jealousy

While writing this post I had one more title in mind -“Life of a person who has never felt jealousy”. Since being a lightworker I have never experienced jealousy.

This is one more reason that I am always focused on my growth and never comparing myself to others. This is a skill that helps me become a better version of myself every day.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bJjc-gaeUqs&feature=share

In the last three years of working on myself, 2 years went only in accepting that people can get so jealous and do something to harm others. It took me a long time to learn how does it feel to people who can feel jealousy. By the third year, I was already so traumatized that I used to be scared of people getting jealous. Because I just wanted peace, so I started dimming my light. That really put me into so much chaos, felt like God is asking me to stop doing it and then I decided to become my authentic self.

I have seen this whole my life ever since childhood, when I studying for IIT JEE, every time. Some negative people first admire you like anything. And then later they blame you for something stupid or probably enjoy your misfortune. This gives them relief from envy.

This is how big jealousy can get. I meet people every month who are highly jealous and try to trouble me or make fun of me or to traumatize me. They don’t help in time of need and be glad that I am facing some difficulty. This is the effect of jealousy, your soul level goes so low that you can not enjoy other soul being happy.

You can never be happy if you have jealousy in your heart. It burns you from the inside. It took me such a long time to understand all of this because I have never felt jealousy. Never to the point of trying to ruin someone’s life or wishing negative about them. Because I guess being an empath that’s not my nature or maybe because I see the big picture of life or could be because my soul power of purity is quite high relatively ( since I am a lightworker too).

Narcissists also try to make you feel jealous of themselves and others because jealousy is the core emotion they live in. They do it by showing off, trying to make you feel insecure and appreciating/flaunting other people around you. I have faced this so many times, every time I tried to analyse why this negative emotion of lack is rising and what it means, I reached only one conclusion that it’s a manipulation tactic and I didn’t have to do much to burry the emotion, it would just transform. Empaths can generate their own energy and transform the energy directed towards them. The only reason that I felt insecure to even a fraction was because I can absorb other’s energies or their projection upon me, it was never my original self.

Some people who are toxic, still ask me you would have done something, you deserved it, it was your mistake, why would so many people get jealous of only one person. Well I think it’s because probably I am a lightworker and knowing the fact that I got so harmed by others ( Lightworkers are meant to go to dark places, to spread light). Which in turn to a Narcissist will feel like why does she get so much attention from others, that also makes them jealous.

The right answer for why did people get jealous of me, I tried to figure it out for long time, I felt everyone was jealous of different things, but now I know the core. Jealousy is at the soul level, because I am a light being.

It’s not always positive attention that a Narcissist enjoys, but negative too. They want to be either the hero and grandiose or victim of everything, they don’t like someone else shining more than them.

Because I started connecting dots for whole my life, I started feeling like maybe it’s true that I am a lightworker. Since lightworkers have to deal with a lot of shit. Don’t worry my story is good. I always had little breakthroughs in some or the other form because I never gave up.

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.

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Don’t Betray Yourself

There’s this thing called self-deception, which means self-betrayal.

Some people are going to betray you, sometimes life is going to betray you. But when you start betraying yourself, you also betray people who truly care for you. This brings hell lot of betrayal, so always be careful to not betray yourself.

To betray yourself means to not listen to your own intuition, to self-sabotage and to not let yourself move towards happiness, to give yourself excuses to stay in toxic situations with wrong people. Basically, you remove yourself from moving towards your own true happiness.

Always be true to yourself, that makes your soul happy. It’s your choice if you want to sacrifice or not, but always know the right reason why you are doing it. Because it may not take long until you realise your mistake.

When you love yourself completely, you are always ready to take a leap of faith towards your own happiness. This is a part of self-love to be truly authentic and true to yourself.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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Always Love Yourself First, Never Second

Everytime you think you found someone who you can love more than yourself, they will prove you wrong.

Self-love

Noone in this world deserves your love more than you do. It’s only you who is going to stick up with yourselves for the whole life.

People will come and go, they will change, change their priorities, all that will remain is your relationship with yourself.

Always be true to yourself, never hide what you feel, because it’s worth it. You are worthy to feel how you want to, to live how you want to, to be how you want to.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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How to Thrive from Abuse | For Empaths

This is a series of posts that I published on my Facebook page earlier. These are same video channels and concepts that helped me while I was dealing with abusers, coming out of it and healing. I will be happy if it can help even one person out there, because I know how horrible it makes you feel. Please bear with me if the writing is not that high quality in this post, because my focus is only on sharing the knowledge. It is mostly for sensitive people, codependents or Empaths, to learn how to deal with Narcissists or Narcissistic people. This process may take several months, go through each point one by one, I think to go through each of the YouTube channels week by week would be better.

1. Learn to speak up right


Let’s start our training with first being a pro at communication at work.
Dan O Connor’s YouTube channel is the best for that. Sometimes I wonder why this guy is not super popular yet. Really good at this work.

https://youtu.be/oEWhhEUP6WQ

So to save you from any kind of issues, conflicts and bullying you need to be most professional, not including your personal life at work saves you from a lot of shit.

I used to not have boundaries and hence an open person, so personal stuff goes out and troubles come in. Sometimes I was closed off but my blog did the work of revealing my personal life. Learn to keep your communication straight, so people know you can not be marked as an easy target.

About me, I am good. I have learnt a lot from my mistakes and I know how to deal with things. People know I’m not be messed up with anymore. About work, juggling two things at a time does create problems, but it becomes more if you work in a toxic environment. India it’s more, because people don’t want to kind their own work. Always choose the right company with right environment for yourself.

P.S. Indian corporate system could be improved like anything, if we all had professional communication trainings as a part of our studies or workshops. If everyone works on these things, there will be noone to taken as target and no one who is a bully. Because everyone knows the right ethical way to work. This could make everyone so productive. Yes, bullies with any kind of psychological problems can also be trained for regulated/controlled behaviour.

2. How to deal with toxic people

This is the method to Taichi away a toxic argument with any abusive person.

You can do this for the other person also, sometimes even Narcissists go into decompensating state, not arguing but highly unstable state, mostly after you show them the mirror. I used to repeat pure, loveful, peaceful, strong and powerful soul for them too. Without giving away my power, I could sometimes calm down the other person also. Why to pray for an abusive person? It’s beneficial for both people in the situation, plus you are only earning some good Karma.

https://youtu.be/oEWhhEUP6WQhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Dc_ZOjt0QFA

I use one more technique, which I learnt from Brahmakumaris, if you know Rajyoga, it’s pretty easy. Imagine yourself as a point of light in your forehead between the eyebrows, and repeat I am a pure loveful peaceful soul.

I love Meredith Miller’s channel, learnt quite a few things from here. Her work is simple and easy to understand, plus doesn’t get you addicted to binge-watching videos on Narcissism. Her content is always on point.

3. Let’s make it a bit lighter


I love Sacha Slone’s all videos.. she is awesome, makes it so light-hearted. When I was being abused watching her videos was always kinda making me happy again. She always reminds that you have power in all situations and to not give your power away. After all, an educated empath is a Narcissist’s biggest nightmare.
Yup, I am saying that I am the biggest nightmare in some people’s life, even after being a lightworker. Coz that’s what I am meant to be, I show them the mirror they don’t want to see. What else could bring the change?

https://youtu.be/uhRyH2B41xI

I remember one video about “how to have fun with your Narcissist”. Don’t try it if you know that it could bring you more trouble if backfired. But I did try to test if my perception of someone being a Narcissist is correct or not… it worked. After facing so many Narcs it’s not that difficult for me to figure out who is who.. and since I have healthy boundaries now, some toxic people who want to put in the effort, I still do talk to them. Because I set clear expectations like if they do this or that, I will not take it and it will be over. That’s what I mean by training a toxic person to have the right behaviour towards me.

“You always teach people how to treat you, by how you treat yourself.” Don’t let people treat you like shit, don’t reward the behaviour, otherwise they create a perception that you are meant to be treated like this.

Just always respect yourself first, always love yourself first. Set boundaries, don’t give your power away. Don’t keep accepting wrong behaviour from people just to avoid confrontation or to avoid hurting someone.

This video is about how Narcissists make themselves look like a victim. Because actually they do twist the reality in their head, that’s what their disorder is all about. Even intelligent people can get fooled, because they cannot sense the lies. How can you catch the lie, if the other person believed it’s actually true. So Narcissist go around, smearing about you to everyone, that you are a bad person. And then you see the backlash from everyone, not only the Narcissist, without knowing what happened. Hence Narcissistic abuse don’t always come from only one person. But actually from a group of people. Which is called scapegoating, I was scapegoated hell lot of times, being lightworker. Scapegoating means to project insecurities of everyone of a group on a single person.

I put this video intentionally so people realise what I was facing who were in the dynamic of being turned against me by a Narcissist. Everyone must have heard that I am fake, when I am not.

4. Work on your fears

After working on all the things in my life, changing perspective about my career, my relationships, my health. Coming out of depression when all the problems were finally over. This was the last fear that I had to face.


This is from Candace van Del’s channel. I love all of her videos. When it comes to working on fears, you may generally be thinking about the fear of failure, rejection or betrayal. But there so many fears that anyone can have at the subconscious level. So here’s a list of few :
Fear of abandoned, fear of being trapped, fear of not being heard, not being seen, fear of annihilation, fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal, fear of the unknown, fear of being different, fear of being called crazy, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being judged, fear of being laughed at. And the last one fear of abandonment and enmeshment.

https://youtu.be/T-LBeHVhvMA

I knew and understood everything how my subconscious programming made me to hide my authentic self. But I was still scared to show the real me to the world. I had a fear of –
“If I show the original me, will I have to loose all the people in my life who I love. But if I don’t do that then I will have to keep living the same old life and it would suffocate me again”

Sit was more like fear of being left out in the cold for shining my light. So I understood how my mind is trying to trick me to not step into the greater possibilities out of fear. And I chose to work through it. And I feel everyone can see the change in me.

Conclusion- only way to work on fears is to just identify that this is a kind of fear that I have. After you address it. It will still come out the next time you face the same situation, but you will tell yourself that “no, this is just a fear. I want to do new things and explore, with hope.” That’s all you need to do and you will notice the fear itself will leave after one or two strikes.

5. Empaths in Recovery

This guy’s channel is great for recovering empaths..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=tb6pxGK6mF8

This was the only place where I learnt how my nervous system needs to calm down first and then my mind can.

Just recommending it for any Empaths or highly sensitive people.

6. Codependency recovery & Self-love abundance

So if you have been following the last 5 posts. Now you would be at the right state of mind to learn about this one. Ross Rosenberg has created a definite approach for codependency recovery.

What is codependency? If you are an empath, there might be a slight chance that you also deal with this. It’s more like a trait, not a disorder. It’s just that you depend on other people’s opinion of you, you choose to be with abusive people than being alone, people-pleasing, always keep others above yourself on the priority list.

https://youtu.be/mMPaKJfrZrA

This happens because most of the empaths, do not have boundaries. And because of their empathy, they think other people are also as good as them. But that’s not the reality, abusive/toxic people use your Empathy against you to manipulate you. And day by day they hit at your self-respect, self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence. So if you do not learn to love yourself first, being an empath you are always going to get stuck in this dynamic. This is why Empaths attract Narcissists around them, once you are healed Narcissists can still come around. But their behaviour will piss you off quite fast, you cannot stand someone stepping on your boundaries.

Empaths can be of three types healthy, codependent or proud helpers (Abdul Saab’s channel). The proud helper has a good probability to move towards codependency. When I started learning about spirituality, empathy all these things, I made helping people my purpose, which still is. But I did not do it the right way, so I moved towards codependency. Then I had to cut off all those people who were toxic and had to set boundaries, learn to say NO again, learn to keep myself first be again. Kept practising this and I was out of depression too. The process took only 4-5 months (not 1-1.5 years as mentioned in the video, I feel you can transform very fast when you are spiritual, or maybe the psychologist just wanted to keep the timeline very general) to make myself better and later all was just gaining my complete confidence back.

Including this channel with all other video channels that I have shared, will do the work. You will have a complete guide to recover from any type of issues, especially if you are a sensitive person.

It is very useful content, quite useful for Indians, as in India we treat codependency as a value. Which should not be the case, it doesn’t bring you happiness. When you move from self-love deficiency to self-love abundance, you heal, you become happy, you enjoy mutual relationships and live a happy life. You stop caring about anyone else is going to think, all you think about is what makes you happy. ☺️

P.S. I am proud to say that I am a healed & empowered empath. We are called super empaths & we know how to use our gifts for humanity.

This was the first series, I will probably add one more on confidence coaching & self-love on how to become confident again after abuse.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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You can not save someone from their inner demons

No matter how much you love a person and don’t want to see them in pain, your love cannot save them for their own self.

When I started gaining insight on life, spirituality and psychology as well, I was still not in a calm state of mind, I told a lot of people a lot of truths about themselves. Sometimes unaware when I was explaining them of another person or situation, they used to take it as a criticism on themself and then I learnt about the shadow aspect of mind. I have finally stopped telling people about themselves, I see, I observe but do not offer help without asking, this also makes my life easier.

Some people who were abusive to me, I loved them like anything, tried to encourage them to improve themselves, tried to help them love themselves, but they hated me more and more and went into a lower state. Because if they were ready in the first place to self-reflect and work on themselves, they won’t be roaming around bullying or picking up at good people.

I first learnt to tell people only what they were ready to hear and as I progressed on my journey I learnt to accept them as they are. Always remember when you try to fix others, its because you are trying to derive your sense of self-worth from it, which is never going to work.

Now I don’t expect people around me to change anymore, this brings happiness and interdependence into relationships. Everyone always wants someone who can accept themselves as they are.

The only and biggest lesson I learnt in 3 years is this one. You cannot save others, no matter what. You can only provide support to those who are willing to work on themselves. You can try to encourage them without any expectation because the choice is always going to be theirs.

Yup, some people really hate me hard. As I cannot control my mouth from saying the truth sometimes, only because I care. I would rather be the big sister who shows you the mirror and let you hate me for that , than letting you create more mess in your life.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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Everything is a blessing

Did something happen in your life, which was unexpected, which broke you down, which shattered you? A dream that looks farther to achieve, something or someone you loved moved away, suddenly your life took a turn which you never expected?

Remember the times, when you faced other big problems and grew through it. If you could overcome that, you are capable of overcoming this too. It’s tough, but you are tougher than your problems.

When life breaks you, it gives you a chance to be reborn. It’s your choice if you want to be miserable or strong.

Personally, whenever I faced a problem in my life, which was always bigger than the past problems I had gone through and I felt like life is over. But there was one thing, each problem just made me stronger, and it led me towards self-awareness and a higher consciousness.

“What shatters you, also has the power to re-make you.”

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If you don’t like where you are.. MOVE. You are not a tree.

Do you often call your friends and complain about how you don’t like your life much. It’s time to stop doing the same things over and over again, change your actions, change your thinking and hence change your life.

Acknowledge the fact that there is a choice. You have a choice to move if you don’t like where you are. Make that choice to change yourself, work deeply to understand life. Learn what it takes to be where you want to go, try and move.

Work on yourself, it’s hard and maybe it’s going to require a lot of time, but you need to start. Break out of your comfort zone. Don’t just go with the flow, because one day you will hit the rock bottom and then you are going to have to start the journey to self. There’s no escape for noone. Life always unfolds itself to you.

Never give up and move to a higher consciousness. When you work on yourself, you are going to find strong limiting beliefs, that you need to peel like an onion, layer by layer. And one day you would reach a point where there won’t be much left to move out of. You will the find true peace and blossom through out life.

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