Think.
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🌈BROKEN TO UN-BROKEN.
This is for every one of us, who is working on healing. One day we will achieve what we dream for.
You do not have to stay broken.
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I am not asking you to stop self-reflection, we all make mistakes and have our lessons to learn. But the part that I am trying to bring light on is-
We have become so robotic, running this life’s race, that we have forgotten what real connections mean. What feeling heard, feeling loved and feeling enough means.
We need to read Instagram posts and watch motivational videos on YouTube, just to remind ourselves that “I am lovable, I can do it, I do deserve it”. We have lost touch with ourselves, so much that in real life there’s no one who tells you this.
That’s how we all live a life feeling not enough, not heard, not lovable, not deserving and then every day looks like a struggle. Everyone goes around facing problems, complaining, being sad, unmotivated, feeling miserable and some even end up creating troubles for others. Only because no one feels good about themselves.
We have created this never-ending loop, maybe it’s time we start appreciating each other, and more than that, start appreciating ourselves, loving ourselves.
I realised this when I am finally over all the negative stuff and I realise, “wow there’s nothing wrong with me, there was nothing wrong with me ever”. But why did I feel like that, because there was no one to say these words to me, and even if some people did, all those problems, all that fog leaves an impression on subconscious that there must be something wrong, otherwise why so many problems. Logically I knew it’s not my fault, but some things still enter your subconscious. Including people who were trying to make me feel like there’s is something wrong with me, all this time. I get to think that this is a problem, probably one that everyone deals with.
Just because your life is full of problems, it does not mean you are not enough, it’s just a part of destiny. So do not entangle what happens on the outside, with what happens on the inside. When you feel good inside, every day is a blessing. Love yourself.
What we talked about here is a deep inner child wound and needs healing.
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And one day you will be whole and feel in complete in yourself.
This one is so close to my heart, nobody actually knows how much I have been through, a series of unlimited problems, that broke me to the core. But I never gave up and finally I am starting to feel whole again with myself. I am falling in love with myself again.
No matter how hard I try, I can not express this into words. I felt as if the whole world was against me and I questioned why nobody tried to help me, and they I broke into tears realising how many forces were with me trying to help me all this long, something brought so many breakthroughs for me. I cannot be grateful enough.
Remember, what you are going through today, will make you tough like a diamond tomorrow and you will shine. Never give up, never leave hope. Time will change, it may take years, but it will.
P.S. Sometimes all you need is a good cry.
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Everytime you think you found someone who you can love more than yourself, they will prove you wrong.
Noone in this world deserves your love more than you do. It’s only you who is going to stick up with yourselves for the whole life.
People will come and go, they will change, change their priorities, all that will remain is your relationship with yourself.
Always be true to yourself, never hide what you feel, because it’s worth it. You are worthy to feel how you want to, to live how you want to, to be how you want to.
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Misery loves company and so do toxic people love each other’s company.
All my Narcissists always came with groups, I thought I should try to explain to the manipulated people about what’s happening. But the truth is always known already. There is always only a mear numbers of people who are manipulated, others stay in the dynamic by choice. Why, they enjoy other’s misery anyway. This is why there is never a need to explain yourself, the right people will stick to you anyway.
Always stay away from toxic people, because all they gonna do it try make you also miserable, so that they can someone like them. People who don’t give you anything in terms of love, care, time and attention. But only take, take and take, are not right for you. They will always let you down in long term. Some will be with you because they envy you, some because of your status & money, some to steal your shine, some to smother you, some to make you feel bad about yourself.
If you surround yourself with people who are all miserable, you will become like them one day. These are the people who try to bring you down when you start o grow. Always choose right people for yourself. It’s better to be alone than being with wrong influence. You become like the top 5 people who you spend your most time with.
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I’m going to explain what shadow work is. When you integrate back the hidden parts of yourself. Sometimes we hide good parts of ourselves or create false beliefs about ourselves, due to social conditioning when we are told that some of our values are wrong, we reject them too. All those parts of ourselves are rejected and that is called the shadow aspect of mind.
There was an English teacher in school, who I respected like anything and always tried to get his appreciation, never ever actually made me feel better. He would compliment other students for their potential, and not me for my growth.
In 8th standard, there was an inter-school debate. A senior student was supposed to go for it, but for some reason she backed out. So I was chosen to deliver a speech so tough. I didn’t know those words, I didn’t get time to memorize those 4 pages and now I think the speech was so long that it was actually out of the time limit that was given. So ultimately, me having not much experience on stage, with no one to encourage me at a new school and actually being under-qualified for the quality for speech that I was given. I was nervous, then I started shaking on the stage. I was scared, people were looking at me into the eye and I just completed as much part as I could and came back and cried.
So the thing is, I kept thinking for years that I have a stage fear, but actually I don’t have. It was just one more identity imposed on me by the wrong people, wrong circumstances, which was not my original self.
The teacher wanted to show his vocabulary skills instead of winning the debate and preparing the students for good. That’s what is called being self-centred. And I kept thinking for years that if he thinks I am not good, maybe I am not. But now look at me, you just completed reading the whole story & I have realised that I love being in the spotlight too.
Give up on the definitions of yourself that society has conditioned you to believe in.
Never let anyone tell you that you are not enough, you deserve less or you can not make it. You have all that it takes.
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No matter how much you love a person and don’t want to see them in pain, your love cannot save them for their own self.
When I started gaining insight on life, spirituality and psychology as well, I was still not in a calm state of mind, I told a lot of people a lot of truths about themselves. Sometimes unaware when I was explaining them of another person or situation, they used to take it as a criticism on themself and then I learnt about the shadow aspect of mind. I have finally stopped telling people about themselves, I see, I observe but do not offer help without asking, this also makes my life easier.
Some people who were abusive to me, I loved them like anything, tried to encourage them to improve themselves, tried to help them love themselves, but they hated me more and more and went into a lower state. Because if they were ready in the first place to self-reflect and work on themselves, they won’t be roaming around bullying or picking up at good people.
I first learnt to tell people only what they were ready to hear and as I progressed on my journey I learnt to accept them as they are. Always remember when you try to fix others, its because you are trying to derive your sense of self-worth from it, which is never going to work.
Now I don’t expect people around me to change anymore, this brings happiness and interdependence into relationships. Everyone always wants someone who can accept themselves as they are.
The only and biggest lesson I learnt in 3 years is this one. You cannot save others, no matter what. You can only provide support to those who are willing to work on themselves. You can try to encourage them without any expectation because the choice is always going to be theirs.
Yup, some people really hate me hard. As I cannot control my mouth from saying the truth sometimes, only because I care. I would rather be the big sister who shows you the mirror and let you hate me for that , than letting you create more mess in your life.
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This one actually I realised over time. People still try to see me as the person I was a year back or two years back or three years back. Sometimes even five to ten years back. I try to tell them that I have changed. It feels like I have been changing everyday, this is how a self-improvement journey looks like. You keep improving and there’s no end to it, there is always so much to explore about life.
Let’s take this the other way. I first thought of sharing my past on the blog and then I feel like there’s no need because people need to know the new me that I am now, not the old me. I have completely changed and this new person is so much better than what she used to be. I feel proud of her. I respect the old one because she fought through all of her struggles and never gave up. My past made me the person I am now, so I accept it. But now I am totally different.
There’s one more side of this coin. Sometimes we keep living in the sorrow of what happened years back and don’t realise how much time has passed by. Everyone needs to pull themselves back into the present. Life is always about the present, not about the past or future.
Don’t let your past define you. Your self-worth is not dependent on it. Always pull yourself back from the past, into the present.
Today is not the same as yesterday.
Tomorrow will not be the same as today.
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Did something happen in your life, which was unexpected, which broke you down, which shattered you? A dream that looks farther to achieve, something or someone you loved moved away, suddenly your life took a turn which you never expected?
Remember the times, when you faced other big problems and grew through it. If you could overcome that, you are capable of overcoming this too. It’s tough, but you are tougher than your problems.
When life breaks you, it gives you a chance to be reborn. It’s your choice if you want to be miserable or strong.
Personally, whenever I faced a problem in my life, which was always bigger than the past problems I had gone through and I felt like life is over. But there was one thing, each problem just made me stronger, and it led me towards self-awareness and a higher consciousness.
“What shatters you, also has the power to re-make you.”
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The Pretty Smart Techie 