Tag: abuse

You can not save someone from their inner demons

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No matter how much you love a person and don’t want to see them in pain, your love cannot save them for their own self.

When I started gaining insight on life, spirituality and psychology as well, I was still not in a calm state of mind, I told a lot of people a lot of truths about themselves. Sometimes unaware when I was explaining them of another person or situation, they used to take it as a criticism on themself and then I learnt about the shadow aspect of mind. I have finally stopped telling people about themselves, I see, I observe but do not offer help without asking, this also makes my life easier.

Some people who were abusive to me, I loved them like anything, tried to encourage them to improve themselves, tried to help them love themselves, but they hated me more and more and went into a lower state. Because if they were ready in the first place to self-reflect and work on themselves, they won’t be roaming around bullying or picking up at good people.

I first learnt to tell people only what they were ready to hear and as I progressed on my journey I learnt to accept them as they are. Always remember when you try to fix others, its because you are trying to derive your sense of self-worth from it, which is never going to work.

Now I don’t expect people around me to change anymore, this brings happiness and interdependence into relationships. Everyone always wants someone who can accept themselves as they are.

The only and biggest lesson I learnt in 3 years is this one. You cannot save others, no matter what. You can only provide support to those who are willing to work on themselves. You can try to encourage them without any expectation because the choice is always going to be theirs.

Yup, some people really hate me hard. As I cannot control my mouth from saying the truth sometimes, only because I care. I would rather be the big sister who shows you the mirror and let you hate me for that , than letting you create more mess in your life.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

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Own your truth

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You know your truth and truth doesn’t need to be proved.

Truth is more powerful than time. Time works out in a way that the truth reveals itself.

Always speak your truth and own it. People who do not face what you face, live what you live, are not equipped to tell you about yourself.

When you finally find who you are, never let anyone walk you out of it about their definition of you. People can be entitled to their version of you, but it does not mean you have to make it your reality. You do you.

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Never seek validation from people about your own story

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This is a raw and straight forward write. I am so freaking tired of people telling me that I was never abused and it’s all just in my head.

Really!! Did I do all the healing work and forgive all my abusers and turned my pain into creativity so this pain doesn’t go outward into the world, only to hear that nothing ever happened.

Every time I tried to speak up and seek help that I am being bullied, mobbed, abused, used, misused. I was told that I am overthinking, I have a complex, I have a victim mentality, I am a difficult, negative, toxic person, its a conflict and everyone’s favourite “I am too sensitive”. It was a lot of times the authority which did so. It’s not called authority, it’s called false authority where people try to use their power for their benefit and to suppress others. But no, not anymore. Because I left everything behind, everything that could overpower me to suppress my voice.

People come and ask me what happened to me, what all I faced, I open up and in return I don’t get even a single sentence of empathy but all the shit that it was my fault. No it was not. I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, no matter what. No human deserves to be treated like that.

People, sorry not people, abusers, they abuse you but don’t want to take self responsibility. Because they will have to agree to feel the shame if they did, the same shame that they were running from and abusing others.

I am not giving anyone power to come and tell me that it never happened or I asked for it or I deserved it or it’s because something’s wrong with me. Because it’s not the truth. I’ve never asked for approval or validation from anyone on if I was actually abused or not. Abuse is done to make you feel like you are the problem, when actually it’s the other person. Why should I accept it, to be treated like trash and to take someone else’s garbage as mine.

Everyone of us, who has been abused sometime in our life by someone we probably loved and cared for. We need to look them in the eye and tell them that this happened to me and I didn’t deserve it. You need to fix your shit and if you can’t, then atleast don’t expect me to take it anymore.

This post may not get that many likes, but may be it will turn some people towards self-reflection. May be some people will realise what our so called system can do to a person and why it needs to be changed.

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Who am I?

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I have been working on myself very hard for 3 years now and I feel it’s time to open up. I have been writing in a lot of posts that I know who I am. It’s going to be a big post but starting is more important.

I am an EMPATH. Empath is a personality type, it’s not a psychological problem, it’s actually how a person’s body and mind is structured to the level of DNA and neurons. We have heightened level of empathy, we can feel other people’s emotions in our body as of our own. Feeling other’s energies introduces sensitivity to sound, big crowdy places, heat, negative people, any kind of violence and toxic environments. It also comes with a gift of creativity and capability to heal myself and others.

I am not an exception, I know and have connected with so many creative people and youtubers who are also are also empaths. I here most of them saying that it’s just that an empath is different, but I see it as being extra ordinary (because I feel it’s time to introduce the Highly sensitives in this world as powerful and not weak). All empaths are very kind, never want to do anything wrong. Empaths are kind, generous, giving, caring but sometimes they do it at the cost of their own happiness.

Most of the empaths have strong intuition in childhood, growing up they learn to fit in the society and suppress their intuition and creativity as well. Sometimes we grow up feeling odd one out and with self-doubt of being crazy. Because we don’t know that the emotions that we feel are other people’s. Feeling anger, criticism, anxiety of everyone around is messy.

It’s very important for Empaths to be aware of what they are. Otherwise they spend most of their life in a limbo, in nihilism. We attract abusers, bullies and energy vampires because we are able to generate our own energy and we have a light because of our goodness. Our light is what attracts more abuse, being sensitive increases the affect of abuse on an empath than on any other type of person.

I have been working on myself and learnt a lot of things about myself. When empath are educated they are more powerful, strong and abuse-free. I have started becoming an empowered empath and rather than being scared of other people’s energies, now I enjoy being me.

Self love is the only thing which saves every empath from a lot of things. It makes us empowered and in control of our emotions. Not only I practice self-love, but it has also become my essence now.

I don’t see being sensitive as a flaw, it makes me different. I feel sensitive to nature, animals, children and people in need and want to help them. Which I don’t thing is a negative quality. My sensitivity brings me so many blessings.

I was waiting for the right time to share this with people, because I needed to be in an empowered state before sharing it. I know there is a chance of people reacting negatively to this. But now I am ready to deal with it.

I have also been going through an spiritual awakening since the time a completely accepted that I am an empath. First it was like an emotional awakening, when I remembered my deep self that I have been hiding. I learnt to love myself, to admire my own uniqueness, to appreciate myself for coming out strong through so many things. Then suddenly all my unconscious fears started coming up, I learnt that it is the “dark knight of the soul” phase that I am going through. Where all my qualities that were suppressed and all the fears that were introduced to me by my surroundings/society. After working on most of them and the big fears, I started blossoming and being happy. It was a feeling of bliss which I had never experienced.

Next I found myself changing psychologically, creatively and in every aspect of my life. Now I just be myself and get in flow with life. It’s like I am blossoming, and sometimes it gets scary because it’s new to me. But it’s still an expansion for me. I am becoming what I was meant to be and I am happy about it.

I am still a work in progress and still do get more realisations every now and then. I still have a lot to explore about myself and life. Sharing my journey with the world is also a part of loving myself unconditionally and fearlessly.

Thanks for bearing through this long post.

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You can choose to be A Victim, A Voice or An Inspiring Story

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Soften your heart..

It’s going to make your heart feel heavy. But everyone needs to realise this.

In the life of hustle, we harden our hearts so much that we forget the meaning of life, the meaning of love.

Everyone just wants to be on top, wants to put others down to make themselves better. Our society has been it’s own enemy while setting the norms of perfection, comparison and success. People don’t realise what they do to just satisfy their ego, can create endless pain for someone. There is a need to soften everyone’s heart, it’s not like it’s not in them. When you travel, spend alone time with nature, don’t you feel those quality of your loving soul. It’s in everyone but has been submerged by our lifestyles.

There is another type of people on the spectrum, those who have been through pain and understand the meaning of pain, not wanting to see anyone to go through same pain. This is the empathy which life teaches us, it tries everyday but only some learn. Is it that difficult to understand what it means to lose a loved one. Even after living through so much, some people choose to bring light in someone else’s life.

And those who suffer, don’t think of ending your life, get support, get counseling, choose to be heard. It doesn’t make you less, it shows you are more stronger than your problems. You can choose to be a victim, a voice or an inspiring story. Choose the right option.

People suicide when they experience pain on such level, that they feel it’s easier to end life than live in that void, that sadness and helplessness.

Everyone of you can choose to do your part to save more lives. You can do it by not demeaning others to make yourself better, learn to self-reflect and self descipline. You can do it by being a listening ear to someone who is finding themselves helpless with no shoulder to cry on. You can do it by spending time with your loved ones and being open to listening shame if they have something to talk about. You can do it by spreading awareness of how one’s behavior can be harmful to others.

And most importantly you can do it by learning to love yourself in every situation, when you love yourself, nor there is a need to suppress yourself, nor something can hurt you this badly, nor you have a need to suppress someone else, nor there is fear in reaching out for help, and you are always ready to teach others how to love themselves.

Kudos to those who chose to reach our for help and their families who stick through the pain with them.

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The Truth About KARMA

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Spirituality is not being understood well. Karma is not bigger than life.
People keep blaming their life situations saying that it’s their past life Karma. I agree, to something that you are not able to find an answer could be past life Karma. But people either forget or don’t want to understand the fact that present karma is more powerful than past karma. And life is powerful than both.

Once you become conscious, all the karma leaves behind, because it changes your psychological structure, your memory, you remember your true self with all the 7 qualities of soul in balance. Now you can properly conduct this life that’s in you. And this ultimately makes you escape the karmic trap itself.

Funny thing is people blame past karma, but don’t even realise what they are doing in present. It’s not always that you get your past life Karma back, most of the times it’s from your present life itself. Day to night all that negativity you spread, that negativity enters you first before entering anyone else and keeps you in a state of lower consciousness.

Theory of Karma itself says, karma doesn’t come back after few days, months or years. Whatever you do on to others, is already done to you, it already brought you in the lower vibration. To make such decisions of doing wrong Karma by will, it takes certain level of unconsciousness.

And some people be like we didn’t have a choice. Perhaps you did have a choice, but because the right path was tough, you chose the easy one. Not making a choice is also a choice. What choices you are ready to make, also depends on your will power/soul power.

When you make the right choices even in chaos, maybe you are in trouble because of past karma, but even while facing the situation, if you take right actions, this good karma will also come back. Isn’t it!!

I know I am dropping a bomb here, and a lot of people are going to be like what!! But just pay attention to what is being told in so many scriptures and by so many spiritual gurus, it’s all the same thing. I’m not talking about anything new.

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