Category: spirituality

Toxic People Cluster Together

Leave a comment

Misery loves company and so do toxic people love each other’s company.

All my Narcissists always came with groups, I thought I should try to explain to the manipulated people about what’s happening. But the truth is always known already. There is always only a mear numbers of people who are manipulated, others stay in the dynamic by choice. Why, they enjoy other’s misery anyway. This is why there is never a need to explain yourself, the right people will stick to you anyway.

Always stay away from toxic people, because all they gonna do it try make you also miserable, so that they can someone like them. People who don’t give you anything in terms of love, care, time and attention. But only take, take and take, are not right for you. They will always let you down in long term. Some will be with you because they envy you, some because of your status & money, some to steal your shine, some to smother you, some to make you feel bad about yourself.

If you surround yourself with people who are all miserable, you will become like them one day. These are the people who try to bring you down when you start o grow. Always choose right people for yourself. It’s better to be alone than being with wrong influence. You become like the top 5 people who you spend your most time with.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

#prettysmarttechie #selflove #selfcare #lifelessons #toxicpeople #postoftheday #quotestoliveby #healthy #instagood #blogger #writer #beyourself #chooseright #beemotinallyhealthy #emotionalintelligence #psychology #seflworth #mentalhealth

Don’t let others’ opinion affect the definition of you

Leave a comment

I’m going to explain what shadow work is. When you integrate back the hidden parts of yourself. Sometimes we hide good parts of ourselves or create false beliefs about ourselves, due to social conditioning when we are told that some of our values are wrong, we reject them too. All those parts of ourselves are rejected and that is called the shadow aspect of mind.

There was an English teacher in school, who I respected like anything and always tried to get his appreciation, never ever actually made me feel better. He would compliment other students for their potential, and not me for my growth.

In 8th standard, there was an inter-school debate. A senior student was supposed to go for it, but for some reason she backed out. So I was chosen to deliver a speech so tough. I didn’t know those words, I didn’t get time to memorize those 4 pages and now I think the speech was so long that it was actually out of the time limit that was given. So ultimately, me having not much experience on stage, with no one to encourage me at a new school and actually being under-qualified for the quality for speech that I was given. I was nervous, then I started shaking on the stage. I was scared, people were looking at me into the eye and I just completed as much part as I could and came back and cried.

So the thing is, I kept thinking for years that I have a stage fear, but actually I don’t have. It was just one more identity imposed on me by the wrong people, wrong circumstances, which was not my original self.

The teacher wanted to show his vocabulary skills instead of winning the debate and preparing the students for good. That’s what is called being self-centred. And I kept thinking for years that if he thinks I am not good, maybe I am not. But now look at me, you just completed reading the whole story & I have realised that I love being in the spotlight too.

Give up on the definitions of yourself that society has conditioned you to believe in.

Never let anyone tell you that you are not enough, you deserve less or you can not make it. You have all that it takes.

Follow us on social media for regular updates-

#prettysmarttechie #life #inspiration #motivation #spotlight #fear #fearofbeingjudged #stagefright #nofear #neverGiveUp #loveyourself #beyou #neverfear #unapologetically #ownIt #ownWhoYouAre #shingbright #chooseyourself #socialconditioning #postoftheday #quoteoftheday #lifelessons #dontGiveAShit #selfconfidence #confidenceCoaching #shadowWork #selflove #selfworth #selfesteem

How to Thrive from Abuse | For Empaths

Leave a comment

This is a series of posts that I published on my Facebook page earlier. These are same video channels and concepts that helped me while I was dealing with abusers, coming out of it and healing. I will be happy if it can help even one person out there, because I know how horrible it makes you feel. Please bear with me if the writing is not that high quality in this post, because my focus is only on sharing the knowledge. It is mostly for sensitive people, codependents or Empaths, to learn how to deal with Narcissists or Narcissistic people. This process may take several months, go through each point one by one, I think to go through each of the YouTube channels week by week would be better.

1. Learn to speak up right


Let’s start our training with first being a pro at communication at work.
Dan O Connor’s YouTube channel is the best for that. Sometimes I wonder why this guy is not super popular yet. Really good at this work.

https://youtu.be/oEWhhEUP6WQ

So to save you from any kind of issues, conflicts and bullying you need to be most professional, not including your personal life at work saves you from a lot of shit.

I used to not have boundaries and hence an open person, so personal stuff goes out and troubles come in. Sometimes I was closed off but my blog did the work of revealing my personal life. Learn to keep your communication straight, so people know you can not be marked as an easy target.

About me, I am good. I have learnt a lot from my mistakes and I know how to deal with things. People know I’m not be messed up with anymore. About work, juggling two things at a time does create problems, but it becomes more if you work in a toxic environment. India it’s more, because people don’t want to kind their own work. Always choose the right company with right environment for yourself.

P.S. Indian corporate system could be improved like anything, if we all had professional communication trainings as a part of our studies or workshops. If everyone works on these things, there will be noone to taken as target and no one who is a bully. Because everyone knows the right ethical way to work. This could make everyone so productive. Yes, bullies with any kind of psychological problems can also be trained for regulated/controlled behaviour.

2. How to deal with toxic people

This is the method to Taichi away a toxic argument with any abusive person.

You can do this for the other person also, sometimes even Narcissists go into decompensating state, not arguing but highly unstable state, mostly after you show them the mirror. I used to repeat pure, loveful, peaceful, strong and powerful soul for them too. Without giving away my power, I could sometimes calm down the other person also. Why to pray for an abusive person? It’s beneficial for both people in the situation, plus you are only earning some good Karma.

https://youtu.be/oEWhhEUP6WQhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Dc_ZOjt0QFA

I use one more technique, which I learnt from Brahmakumaris, if you know Rajyoga, it’s pretty easy. Imagine yourself as a point of light in your forehead between the eyebrows, and repeat I am a pure loveful peaceful soul.

I love Meredith Miller’s channel, learnt quite a few things from here. Her work is simple and easy to understand, plus doesn’t get you addicted to binge-watching videos on Narcissism. Her content is always on point.

3. Let’s make it a bit lighter


I love Sacha Slone’s all videos.. she is awesome, makes it so light-hearted. When I was being abused watching her videos was always kinda making me happy again. She always reminds that you have power in all situations and to not give your power away. After all, an educated empath is a Narcissist’s biggest nightmare.
Yup, I am saying that I am the biggest nightmare in some people’s life, even after being a lightworker. Coz that’s what I am meant to be, I show them the mirror they don’t want to see. What else could bring the change?

https://youtu.be/uhRyH2B41xI

I remember one video about “how to have fun with your Narcissist”. Don’t try it if you know that it could bring you more trouble if backfired. But I did try to test if my perception of someone being a Narcissist is correct or not… it worked. After facing so many Narcs it’s not that difficult for me to figure out who is who.. and since I have healthy boundaries now, some toxic people who want to put in the effort, I still do talk to them. Because I set clear expectations like if they do this or that, I will not take it and it will be over. That’s what I mean by training a toxic person to have the right behaviour towards me.

“You always teach people how to treat you, by how you treat yourself.” Don’t let people treat you like shit, don’t reward the behaviour, otherwise they create a perception that you are meant to be treated like this.

Just always respect yourself first, always love yourself first. Set boundaries, don’t give your power away. Don’t keep accepting wrong behaviour from people just to avoid confrontation or to avoid hurting someone.

This video is about how Narcissists make themselves look like a victim. Because actually they do twist the reality in their head, that’s what their disorder is all about. Even intelligent people can get fooled, because they cannot sense the lies. How can you catch the lie, if the other person believed it’s actually true. So Narcissist go around, smearing about you to everyone, that you are a bad person. And then you see the backlash from everyone, not only the Narcissist, without knowing what happened. Hence Narcissistic abuse don’t always come from only one person. But actually from a group of people. Which is called scapegoating, I was scapegoated hell lot of times, being lightworker. Scapegoating means to project insecurities of everyone of a group on a single person.

I put this video intentionally so people realise what I was facing who were in the dynamic of being turned against me by a Narcissist. Everyone must have heard that I am fake, when I am not.

4. Work on your fears

After working on all the things in my life, changing perspective about my career, my relationships, my health. Coming out of depression when all the problems were finally over. This was the last fear that I had to face.


This is from Candace van Del’s channel. I love all of her videos. When it comes to working on fears, you may generally be thinking about the fear of failure, rejection or betrayal. But there so many fears that anyone can have at the subconscious level. So here’s a list of few :
Fear of abandoned, fear of being trapped, fear of not being heard, not being seen, fear of annihilation, fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal, fear of the unknown, fear of being different, fear of being called crazy, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being judged, fear of being laughed at. And the last one fear of abandonment and enmeshment.

https://youtu.be/T-LBeHVhvMA

I knew and understood everything how my subconscious programming made me to hide my authentic self. But I was still scared to show the real me to the world. I had a fear of –
“If I show the original me, will I have to loose all the people in my life who I love. But if I don’t do that then I will have to keep living the same old life and it would suffocate me again”

Sit was more like fear of being left out in the cold for shining my light. So I understood how my mind is trying to trick me to not step into the greater possibilities out of fear. And I chose to work through it. And I feel everyone can see the change in me.

Conclusion- only way to work on fears is to just identify that this is a kind of fear that I have. After you address it. It will still come out the next time you face the same situation, but you will tell yourself that “no, this is just a fear. I want to do new things and explore, with hope.” That’s all you need to do and you will notice the fear itself will leave after one or two strikes.

5. Empaths in Recovery

This guy’s channel is great for recovering empaths..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=tb6pxGK6mF8

This was the only place where I learnt how my nervous system needs to calm down first and then my mind can.

Just recommending it for any Empaths or highly sensitive people.

6. Codependency recovery & Self-love abundance

So if you have been following the last 5 posts. Now you would be at the right state of mind to learn about this one. Ross Rosenberg has created a definite approach for codependency recovery.

What is codependency? If you are an empath, there might be a slight chance that you also deal with this. It’s more like a trait, not a disorder. It’s just that you depend on other people’s opinion of you, you choose to be with abusive people than being alone, people-pleasing, always keep others above yourself on the priority list.

https://youtu.be/mMPaKJfrZrA

This happens because most of the empaths, do not have boundaries. And because of their empathy, they think other people are also as good as them. But that’s not the reality, abusive/toxic people use your Empathy against you to manipulate you. And day by day they hit at your self-respect, self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence. So if you do not learn to love yourself first, being an empath you are always going to get stuck in this dynamic. This is why Empaths attract Narcissists around them, once you are healed Narcissists can still come around. But their behaviour will piss you off quite fast, you cannot stand someone stepping on your boundaries.

Empaths can be of three types healthy, codependent or proud helpers (Abdul Saab’s channel). The proud helper has a good probability to move towards codependency. When I started learning about spirituality, empathy all these things, I made helping people my purpose, which still is. But I did not do it the right way, so I moved towards codependency. Then I had to cut off all those people who were toxic and had to set boundaries, learn to say NO again, learn to keep myself first be again. Kept practising this and I was out of depression too. The process took only 4-5 months (not 1-1.5 years as mentioned in the video, I feel you can transform very fast when you are spiritual, or maybe the psychologist just wanted to keep the timeline very general) to make myself better and later all was just gaining my complete confidence back.

Including this channel with all other video channels that I have shared, will do the work. You will have a complete guide to recover from any type of issues, especially if you are a sensitive person.

It is very useful content, quite useful for Indians, as in India we treat codependency as a value. Which should not be the case, it doesn’t bring you happiness. When you move from self-love deficiency to self-love abundance, you heal, you become happy, you enjoy mutual relationships and live a happy life. You stop caring about anyone else is going to think, all you think about is what makes you happy. ☺️

P.S. I am proud to say that I am a healed & empowered empath. We are called super empaths & we know how to use our gifts for humanity.

This was the first series, I will probably add one more on confidence coaching & self-love on how to become confident again after abuse.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Twitter

Etsy Shop


#prettysmarttechie #life #inspiration #motivation #nevergiveup #thrive #narcissisticAbuse #abuseRecovery #empaths #highlysensitive #abusivepeople #toxicpeople #codependent #healing #confidence #speakup #selflove #boundaries #communication #soul #selfdevelopment

You can not save someone from their inner demons

2 Comments

No matter how much you love a person and don’t want to see them in pain, your love cannot save them for their own self.

When I started gaining insight on life, spirituality and psychology as well, I was still not in a calm state of mind, I told a lot of people a lot of truths about themselves. Sometimes unaware when I was explaining them of another person or situation, they used to take it as a criticism on themself and then I learnt about the shadow aspect of mind. I have finally stopped telling people about themselves, I see, I observe but do not offer help without asking, this also makes my life easier.

Some people who were abusive to me, I loved them like anything, tried to encourage them to improve themselves, tried to help them love themselves, but they hated me more and more and went into a lower state. Because if they were ready in the first place to self-reflect and work on themselves, they won’t be roaming around bullying or picking up at good people.

I first learnt to tell people only what they were ready to hear and as I progressed on my journey I learnt to accept them as they are. Always remember when you try to fix others, its because you are trying to derive your sense of self-worth from it, which is never going to work.

Now I don’t expect people around me to change anymore, this brings happiness and interdependence into relationships. Everyone always wants someone who can accept themselves as they are.

The only and biggest lesson I learnt in 3 years is this one. You cannot save others, no matter what. You can only provide support to those who are willing to work on themselves. You can try to encourage them without any expectation because the choice is always going to be theirs.

Yup, some people really hate me hard. As I cannot control my mouth from saying the truth sometimes, only because I care. I would rather be the big sister who shows you the mirror and let you hate me for that , than letting you create more mess in your life.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

#prettysmarttechie #lifelesson #life #spirituality #postoftheday #quoteoftheday #beyou #selflove #selfreflection #selfcare #blogger #quotestoliveby #writer #instawriters #igers #lifequote #shadowwork #acceptance #interdependence #selfdevelopment #selflove #selfcare #selfreflection #love #truth #healing #imnerwork #expectations

You are not your PAST

Leave a comment

This one actually I realised over time. People still try to see me as the person I was a year back or two years back or three years back. Sometimes even five to ten years back. I try to tell them that I have changed. It feels like I have been changing everyday, this is how a self-improvement journey looks like. You keep improving and there’s no end to it, there is always so much to explore about life.

Let’s take this the other way. I first thought of sharing my past on the blog and then I feel like there’s no need because people need to know the new me that I am now, not the old me. I have completely changed and this new person is so much better than what she used to be. I feel proud of her. I respect the old one because she fought through all of her struggles and never gave up. My past made me the person I am now, so I accept it. But now I am totally different.

There’s one more side of this coin. Sometimes we keep living in the sorrow of what happened years back and don’t realise how much time has passed by. Everyone needs to pull themselves back into the present. Life is always about the present, not about the past or future.

Don’t let your past define you. Your self-worth is not dependent on it. Always pull yourself back from the past, into the present.


Today is not the same as yesterday.
Tomorrow will not be the same as today.

Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.

Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie


#prettysmarttechie #life #inspiration #motivation #instagood #igera #postoftheday #quotestoliveby #lifelessons #celebration #500followers #happy #milestone #liveinthemoment #presentmoment #pastispast #nevergiveup #selfdevelopment #grow #growthmindset

Everything is a blessing

Leave a comment

Did something happen in your life, which was unexpected, which broke you down, which shattered you? A dream that looks farther to achieve, something or someone you loved moved away, suddenly your life took a turn which you never expected?

Remember the times, when you faced other big problems and grew through it. If you could overcome that, you are capable of overcoming this too. It’s tough, but you are tougher than your problems.

When life breaks you, it gives you a chance to be reborn. It’s your choice if you want to be miserable or strong.

Personally, whenever I faced a problem in my life, which was always bigger than the past problems I had gone through and I felt like life is over. But there was one thing, each problem just made me stronger, and it led me towards self-awareness and a higher consciousness.

“What shatters you, also has the power to re-make you.”

If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

#prettysmarttechie #thoughtoftheday #spirituality #contentment #consciousness #selfawareness #bestrong #youcandoit #lifequotes #life #lifeskills #overcome #grow #lifecoach #depression #sadness #motivation #fight #inspiration #bepositive #strength #powerWithin #nevergiveup #warriors #gameoflife #powerfulsoul #liveinthepresent #lessonsforlife #lifeteaches

If you don’t like where you are.. MOVE. You are not a tree.

Leave a comment

Do you often call your friends and complain about how you don’t like your life much. It’s time to stop doing the same things over and over again, change your actions, change your thinking and hence change your life.

Acknowledge the fact that there is a choice. You have a choice to move if you don’t like where you are. Make that choice to change yourself, work deeply to understand life. Learn what it takes to be where you want to go, try and move.

Work on yourself, it’s hard and maybe it’s going to require a lot of time, but you need to start. Break out of your comfort zone. Don’t just go with the flow, because one day you will hit the rock bottom and then you are going to have to start the journey to self. There’s no escape for noone. Life always unfolds itself to you.

Never give up and move to a higher consciousness. When you work on yourself, you are going to find strong limiting beliefs, that you need to peel like an onion, layer by layer. And one day you would reach a point where there won’t be much left to move out of. You will the find true peace and blossom through out life.

If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

#prettysmarttechie #life #inspiration #selfreflection #journeytoself #selflove #selfcare #comfortzone #dontgiveup #complainers #move #grow #higherconsciousness #exploreyourself #instawriters #igers #blog #instablogger #quoteoftheday #budhaquotes #buddha #change #sprituality #consciousness #motivation

Never loose yourself for others

Leave a comment

Sometimes for love, for approval, for the opinions of people we try to change ourselves. We feel we need to adjust with others and change ourselves but how much?

Have you realised what it feels to be someone who you are not. It’s just takes the life out of you. The price that you pay is more than anything. Be self aware.

Be confident and put your best foot forward to the world. Never loose your individuality for others. You are different and that’s why the world needs to accept who you are, not to change you to it’s own terms. No one even knows who created the norms that you need to fit in.

You deserve to be your own true self. Never doubt what your heart tells you.

Giving up to every opinion is like, letting someone else drive your car. Forget car, I have never lent my cycle to anyone.

So listen to this, you, go out there and be yourself, your authentic self. Own your truth and no one else has the Power to tell you who you are.

If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

#prettysmarttechie #beyourself #selflove #selfcare #authenticity #individuality #instagood #dailyquotes #blogger #igers #writersofinstagram #growthmindset #confidence #dontchange #dontfitin #selfaware #selfreflection #confidence #lifecoach #lovequotes #quotestoliveby #instawriters #grow #beyou #motivation

Own your truth

Leave a comment

You know your truth and truth doesn’t need to be proved.

Truth is more powerful than time. Time works out in a way that the truth reveals itself.

Always speak your truth and own it. People who do not face what you face, live what you live, are not equipped to tell you about yourself.

When you finally find who you are, never let anyone walk you out of it about their definition of you. People can be entitled to their version of you, but it does not mean you have to make it your reality. You do you.

If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

You are your own rescue

Leave a comment

Only you are your rescue, no one else is.
-Lisa Nicols

I looked up to all my friends for solution to my problems and never found the solution. It was always with me, I just didn’t look at it.
Never look up to people to help you or save you. The one who can save yourself is only you, people can just give you a hand or support.

It’s only you who can do the inner work, only you can fix your life, only you who can solve all your problems.

You can do it.

Take the tough paths, make the brave choices or sometimes maybe the easy choices. Do what your heart says.

About me, I found a blessing in disguise. Now I know which friends are for lifetime.

If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –

Instagram – Pretty Smart Techie

Facebook – Pretty Smart Techie

Twitter – Pretty Smart Techie

YouTube – Pretty Smart Techie

#prettysmarttechie #rescue #selflove #self #spirituality #inspiration #blogger #instagood #instawriters #postoftheday #life #motivation #igers #onlyyou #you #saviour #selfdependent #strong #beyourself #livefully #soulscience #fightdepression #mentalhealth #nevergiveup #loveyourself #selfhelp #iegrs #wisdom #lifelessons