Category: empath

Venn Diagram to explain spirituality

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Just my science graduate ass trying to explain spirituality 😅 I made a Venn diagram, I have not done any research but I read a lot online.

15-20% of the population is highly sensitive people and not every highly sensitive person is emotionally and energy sensitive. 10-12% of the entire population is Empaths.

There are some 1,44,000 prophesied original Lightworkers, which makes approx 2% of the world’s current population. Some people believe that 1,44,000 is not a number of Lightworkers but a frequency that they vibrate in. And again not every Empath is a Lightworker.

I did not want to leave people who are not Starseeds but have a life purpose of helping people. So with a little flexibility, I drew two circles, for Lightworkers and Starseeds.

I hope this saves my techies from a lot of confusion.

P.S. Just an attempt to explain the theory, this is not a verified data.

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How do you know if you are energy sensitive?

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This one just hit me. It took me a long time to learn that I am sensitive to energies. When I accepted this, it led me to accept that I am an Empath.

I was just writing my diary and feeling exhausted after interacting with other people. Whenever this happens I observe myself if it’s because of other’s energies. I thought of sharing this on my blog because it takes a lot of time (years) to learn how your body responds to energies.

If you are interacting with someone, you are in harmony with, it’s not going to make much difference, but only make you happier. This is why everyone prefers to have positive people in their life.

Next comes when you interact with lower energy/vibration people, it drains your energy too. So for a few hours even after the interaction, I can feel dull, it also gives me slight pain in my lower back, which is not my bones, but a feeling of a muscle tear. That is what happens when you absorb others’ lower energies.

Next level is a psychic attack/energy attack. Don’t take this as some voodoo stuff, it’s very common for empaths. Suppose if you are in a troubling relationship with a toxic person, going through a rough phase, most of the time both people are thinking about each other, so this creates an energetic cord if some negative energy is coming highly directed towards you. You are going to feel it. It feels like a pain in the back area, sometimes up to the neck.

For clearing your energy, you can reduce interactions with negative people, meditate, relaxing music, have healthy foods to keep you in good energy. You can also take relaxing hot water baths, use sage smudging sticks, go outside and have a walk. Walk barefoot on the grass and ground yourself. One simple way is to say, “it’s you energy, not mine”, to detach. Do a 5-minute mediation in the morning to protect yourself with a bubble of white light.

This is why it gets exhausting for empaths to work in toxic environments. If it’s regular, it starts affecting their eating & sleeping habits. Productivity, mental, emotional and physical health.

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It’s always the victim who has the power to end the abuse

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Wondering why I think so?

The abuser is always a person who does not even know how to regulate his/her own emotions. They can not end the cycle of abuse, never. It always takes the victim to make a decision, once the victim decides, he/she can end the cycle. How?

If with a Narcissist, do not give them what they want. Don’t give them drama. If already past that stage, start showing them the mirror, the Narcissists, they fear coming face to face with their own reality.

(Showing a mirror to Narcissist or walking away, both are a form of compassion for them. Just do not engage in the drama and give them a chance of self-reflection. I know it never works, they never are able to self reflect so much, but maybe they start seeing the truth one by one, victim by victim for their whole life. And probably when they get old, they can recall what they did.)

If it’s not a Narcissist, only a toxic person, don’t engage. Don’t engage with them. They are people who are in so much pain inside, that they want to create the same reality outside. They become self-destructive.

If it’s a person who has some kind of power over you, legally. Walk away (Yes, it sounds like an escape, but read it till the end). Now you would say but then I want to prove myself, my worth, I want to take back everything that they have damaged, my image, recognition everything. But no, you do not engage. You trying to prove your worth keeps you in a cycle, that’s what they want. Instead, you acknowledge your worth on your own and leave. Move on to next phase of your life, prove yourself there and these people will get their lessons on their own.

Walking away is a power, it’s such a big power in itself. When you walk away, you show them the difference between you and them. That you are not willing to waste time on these stupid games. Always remember, walking away is power. It will save you from a lot of misery.

Take back your power, do not put your worth in their hands, do not define your worth by how they treat you. Do not wait for them to accept your worth and treat you right. You are worthy, on your own. You are an amazing fantabulous person, just as you are. Never forget your own worth.

And you never know, if you are strong enough to take this decision, maybe God will smile and give you a chance to prove yourself, just before you are about to leave. I got that chance & I love my decisions now.

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How Narcissistic friends react when you decide to leave them

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I was gaslighted by one more Narcissist and it made me step out of my integrity. That’s how they make you feel when you call their behaviour out. That’s why it’s always better to block them rather than trying to make them talk through the problems rationally. Because they are not rational at all. They just try to Gaslight you, to make you step out of integrity so that they can get some lie to tell themselves and others, against you. And also to dump their shame on you.

All a Narcissist is a toddler who never got the right emotional intimacy from their parents. All they know is how to get things done by their toddler tantrums. When you tell them you want to end things or call their behaviour out or demand more effort from them. They don’t go into a state of self-reflection and apologize but turn into a toddler who wants his toy back, who wants you to behave his way. They go into the state of “you are such a bad person, you are the devil, why are you doing this to me, you are hurting me”. Because now his fear of abandonment is standing in front of him, his biggest fear which turns these adult children into an abusive person. And if they can’t get their way, they want to abandon you, before you abandon them.

They go on blaming you for not understanding that they are different, and how you are doing wrong, how you are not giving them freedom for being themselves, how their priority is work and not you, and how they should be able to suppress you. And all you do is ask them one question if they talk to you only twice a year, and friendships are not even their priority, nor even our priorities match, nor it’s a mutual friendship, then why do they have a problem letting you go? They will also blame you for not trying to meet them personally in years, in return for their little efforts to even talk to you and always ignoring your phone calls.

Can you see how the flow of conversation goes from once they are sorry to next time they are blaming you, from once they are not ready to change and next time they want you to change according to them. That’s Gaslighting. To put so many ups and downs of emotions in your brain that it can’t understand what’s happening and gives up into reacting, the reaction that they want from you. So that they can later clarify themselves as you were the wrong person, and that’s why it did not work. That’s called blame-shifting, it’s again a manipulation tactic. My old school friend even flip flopped from saying that it’s my caring nature because of which we always talk about his miserable life and not me, to saying that I should not be wanting to help people because people don’t want help. He even used projections on me and when I confronted him about that behaviour, he said it’s rational, to project his thinking onto others because everyone thinks others are also like him. Now, this was not a rational thinker at all.

My ex school friend really tried to make me feel insecure, he said people don’t need anyone to help them, they want to learn their lessons on their own. Okay so then don’t follow my blog, no one is forcing you to. But don’t you dare snatch my dreams away and snap on my life purpose. Do you think this kind of people can ever be true friends?

On my bday these toxic people came back, bringing my energy down on my Birthday, I spent 3 hours helping these people to sort themselves. That’s what they do, they use every opportunity to score their supply back, they use all festivals, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Diwali, new year, all occasions. But all the conversation still remains about them and not sharing happiness, they can’t see people being happy on Christmas/Diwali also, because they themselves can not experience the emotions of true happiness. When they come back by making excuses and fake stories, it’s called hoovering, their attempt to come back and check on you if you are still holding boundaries with them or now your guard is down after the Silent treatment of some days. Strangely, in my case, as I am an empowered empath now, the silent treatment is never on me, I actually decide to not give in to their toddle tantrums and silent treatment. What they want to happen is you to plead them for forgiveness, for their own mistakes. I never fall into this trap, because I can see through the bigger picture now.

I also tried to cut cords a few weeks back, with the same three people who were trying to come back. By chord cutting, you pull your energy back and they can sense it on an energy level, so they try to manipulate you again into their dirty mind games. And look at me, I was wondering why these people are back even after cutting chords, are they not the wrong people? They were just trying their last bit on me, I hold my ground and finally got rid of these people.

This school friend blamed me for leaving him behind because I have outgrown. Is that even a thing for real? With my true friends, I never had to question our friendship to such level, to check if we are still resonating with each other or not. They were there for me when I was fighting depression, giving me hours a day, they stuck with me through my “dark night of the soul” phase and celebrated all my happiness together. They were the pillars who held me from falling off in those tough times. Never left my side, no matter what and always supported me, never ever tried to make me feel insecure, even once, I am talking about 10 years of friendship. This is what real friendship is, your true friends grow with you, never feel jealous of you, always work through all the issues, never make you feel like you are not a priority in their life.

In the end, I said he ‘N’ word. Finally, I said, “I am used to these arguments with Narcissists, so he should not think that I don’t know what he is trying to do”. Then this guy just blocked me after blaming me for ruining his day where I kept insisting through the whole conversation to not argue and end it peacefully. So finally I had a grand finale with one more Narcissist yesterday. Taking time to recharge myself after so much Gaslighting and fighting the emotional manipulation.

All these Narcissist have a common tactic to use words from my own blog to make me feel insecure. I am in this field for 4 years now got enough experience, and got used this behaviour also. They keep tabs on my words, I keep a tab on them. Uhh.. they all have the same single pattern, which can not change, ever.

That’s what all the Narcissists do. Some toxic people ask me I must have done something to attract so much trouble and why so many Narcissists come after me. The answer is, I do, I trigger them. Whenever I posted something related to psychology, Empaths and Narcissists. Some of the other people thought it’s about them and started giving me a difficult time. I struggled to learn why they misunderstood me, the post was not about them. Later I learnt to see their true faces. They know themselves better than anyone else. They sense that I might have discovered who they are, so they discard me and start all the scapegoating, manipulation and ruminating me for being a fake person.

I am still trying to replenish my energy and heal from that. But what we need to do here is not give in to the drama again. Every time an empath goes back to a Narcissist, next time he will be discarded in a far more cruel way than the last time. This is the time to use your head over your heart, empaths. Because the Narcissist is also playing games with the head only they don’t have a pure heart as you do. Hold your ground, and show the Narcissist that you will not give in to their mind games, and they will leave you, to look for another supply.

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An educated empath is a Narcissist’s worst Nightmare

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Did you think empaths have to be scared of Narcissists? It can be the other way around, once the Empath learns their worth.

When empaths learn to love themselves, their self-worth, to discern between fear and intuition, to trust their intuition, to set boundaries and educate themselves over the same single pattern all the Narcissist use every time, they become empowered.

Start your journey today and in some months you will learn to set boundaries, that will itself save you from a lot of Narcs. Psychologists use the term “supply” for a Narcissist’s victims. A good supply is someone who helps the Narcissist inflate his/her ego, gives them validation that they need and lets them have control. If you know how to set boundaries, you will fail a Narcissist as a supply, in the starting few interactions.

Narcissists want to manipulate everyone to feed on their insecurities, so they observe the victim in starting stages of the relationship, that’s the love bombing stage. They will show themselves as the gratified immensely good person they are and how the world is always bad to them. An educated empath in turn, also observes the Narcissist in these starting stages.

If you learn to use your intuition right way and trust it, it will always protect you. I am an intuitive person too, my intuition always tries to tell me something whenever I need protection and I utilise my intuition.

If you educate yourself on Narcissism and your own behaviours that keep you stuck with Narcissists, you will soon learn to come out of the toxic cycle faster with less drama. All Narcissists are scared of being shown the mirror, of their false self-image being broken and educated empaths can do it. Show a Narcissist how inflated their ego is, and they are nowhere close to what they think of themselves.

Using boundaries, you learn to show a Narcissist that all the good qualities they see in themselves are yours, and all the insecurities that they try to project on you to harm your self-worth and keep you stuck in that fog, are all his/her insecurities.

The Narcissist then discards the supply and moves on to a new victim. If you don’t do this, they will anyways discard you after sucking you dry out of the love for yourself, when they have completely ruined you and stolen your identity, they leave, you are not useful to them anymore. They will leave you completely broken & shattered, when you are looking up to them, hoping that they will change. But they don’t change, they know you have sensed that they are not what they were pretending to be, so they leave. They give themselves excuse by saying that you are not as good, positive, energetic person now as they thought you were. Soon you will be out of sight – out of life for them like you never existed for them.

By having boundaries, you can instantly become Narc-repellent. Also, self-love is the only cure to Narcissistic abuse, one day you reach that level of self-love that your happiness comes first than the Narcissist’s, and you become an empowered empath.

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Sensitives are here to show this world a new way of living.

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People look at highly sensitives and empaths as weak. But they are not.

Some may believe that a sensitive person is triggered easily, but it is not the case. Most of the sensitive people trigger others. They show you your own shadow aspect and what needs to be healed. The same reason why Narcs are always after empaths.

Some look at it as, you need to be careful around a sensitive person about how to talk, how to behave, but it’s actually teaching you a right way of behaviour, it shows you your own patterns, coping mechanisms and reached you an emotionally healthy way of being and respecting boundaries.

Sensitives are not weak, it’s only them, who are so much in touch with their emotions. That they can do the work to heal themselves and others too. “They have what it takes”, to go inward, sit with the pain, observe all the emotions and work on them. They can transmute the energy that comes towards them and bring high vibrational energies into their environment. They have the strength to break the chain of negativity, pain and generation of Ancestral trauma.

Empathy is all that it takes to self-reflect, become self-aware, learn self-love and reach self-fulfilment. You are not awake if you don’t have empathy. A lot of great spiritual teachers define awakening by one quality that is humility. No matter how many spiritual practices you do, but if empathy and compassion are missing, you still have a lot to learn.

Most of the Lightworkers, starseeds, healers, earth Angels, highly spiritual people i.e. all high vibrational souls are highly sensitive. They are here to teach everyone a high vibrational way of connection and relationships.

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Why HEALING is Important?

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Healing means to clear all your past wounds and start fresh. Wounds of trauma, probably abuse, violence, shame etc.

It’s important because only after healing yourself you can reach your full potential, find true bliss and enjoy life everyday. You might say that you don’t have any trauma, you don’t have a bad past, but there can be many subconscious wounds that you are not aware of.

If you find yourself doing 5 minute rule for texting, pretending that you are busy, living for people’s approval, feeling over burdened by life, lashing out someone’s anger on someone else, using silent treatments, getting triggered by any online posts, triggered by interacting with people, there is something that requires healing. If you are conflict avoidant, having commitment issues, anger issues, all of it can be healed.

There are so many subconscious fears and societal programming in everyone’s mind that come to surface whenever anything drastic happens in their life. So do you want to wait till that moment when everything comes to surface altogether and bursts into anxiety or you want to go inwards and work on yourself now so that you are always ready to take a difficult situation and transform it into calmer waters.

Those who know that they faced some trauma, they know how it is to feel broken. And only healing can help you bring yourself together again. When you heal yourself, you won’t have to feel broken. I tried healing myself and it happened one day, one day I stopped feeling broken. It can happen for you too. If I can do it, you can do it too. I won’t ask you to have hope, but I can assure you that it works.

Healing can take you towards enlightenment, it introduces you to a high vibrational way of living.

If you liked this post, follow me for regular posts about healing. We will look at the spiritual perspective of healing, how it works and step to heal yourself.

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Poem – I choose

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I choose.

I choose to be a fighter,
I choose to be a protector,
I choose to be a defender,
I choose to be a nurturer.

I choose to fight the wrong,
I choose to be the voice for justice,
I choose to make the noise,
I choose to be the change,
I choose to be fearless,
I choose to be unstoppable.

I choose to be a rebel, a dreamer, a truth teller, a way shower.
But first, I choose to be a human.

Today is the day when I cannot control my anger anymore. I have seen every kind of pain. Sometimes the pain and anger creeps in and gets on my nerves. Sometimes I wonder why me , why I always had breakthroughs in all those struggles. Then I realise it’s a life of destiny and I choose to take the call to be the voice.

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Don’t sacrifice for people, they know what they are doing

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You think people are hurt and don’t know what they are doing.. They do know it somewhere deep inside, but they choose not to take responsibility for what they do. Just to hide from guilt, regret, shame or being responsible for something.

We take adjustment in relationships to next level, when we think they are not able to realise something. But actually we need to let them realise and do their inner work. You can not save somebody from this pain, by sacrificing on your side. The same pain leads them to grow into a better person.

There is always a limit on what can be forgiven and what can be adjusted. Hurt people, hurt people. It works when you want to forgive someone, but does not if you keep letting someone cross your boundaries.

Any sort of relationship works well only when both sides meet each other half way.

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