I choose to be a fighter, I choose to be a protector, I choose to be a defender, I choose to be a nurturer.
I choose to fight the wrong, I choose to be the voice for justice, I choose to make the noise, I choose to be the change, I choose to be fearless, I choose to be unstoppable.
I choose to be a rebel, a dreamer, a truth teller, a way shower. But first, I choose to be a human.
Today is the day when I cannot control my anger anymore. I have seen every kind of pain. Sometimes the pain and anger creeps in and gets on my nerves. Sometimes I wonder why me , why I always had breakthroughs in all those struggles. Then I realise it’s a life of destiny and I choose to take the call to be the voice.
Let’s talk about why taking a stand is important and why it matters to me.
Do you wonder, being an empath and a spiritual person, why do I always talk about haters. There’s not a single person in my followers who leave a negative comment or hate. My haters are only people who I had to deal with in my own life. I took a stand and some hate me for that. Some hate me for “what does she think of herself”. Some hate me for showing them their wounds. Some hate me because I did not take the abuse they were trying to throw on me. Some hate me because I come out stronger everytime. Some hate me thinking that I put hurdles in their easy going life. Some hate me because they blame me for their own issues.
But was it really me who was the source of their pain? Or people do it to themselves. When humans get so overtaken by their ego, that they start to think they can play God. They do all he things they should not and so Karma hits them back. There would be people who are busy hating on me, still reading this post, like someone invited them to read.
People hate me for shaking the system. But what if today I am a target and tomorrow it could be you, someone else more powerful than you could come and crush you like anything. Don’t like that feeling right.
It’s written in Bhagvat Geeta that “No-one can decide your Dharma, only you can”. The thing you could not stand and what happened to you personally, to stop that thing completely should be your purpose. Because nobody knows tomorrow how many people will be killed for it, only because you did not raise your voice. Geeta is about peace but it also teaches us when to be silent and when not to be.
There’s one thing called collective Karma, you saw something wrong happen, but did nothing about it. Yes, someone else was getting credit for doing it, but sometimes indifference means support. ( Psychologically that’s the bi-stander effect, tomorrow you can be the target too.)
I chose my Dharma. If it was not me, it would be someone else some other day. Truth does not change, only who speaks it and when.
And maybe there’s one thing that people don’t know about me, which causes the problem. Just like Arjuna felt guilty fighting the war, even I do. (Not trying to compare myself to someone, but just trying to show you how it can feel.) It took me time to forgive myself and this was my lesson.” to fight or not to fight, nothing brings peace. You have to find it inside yourself”. I did not fight once and regretted it, so I fought the next time and still found regret.
I felt guilty for fighting against people who were my culprits. Why? I am an empath, that’s my core. I can’t see anyone in pain, but I learnt to forgive myself and let people learn their lessons, I can not save everyone. So I chose to choose my Dharma. They also tried to guilt-trip me, but I was aware, I felt guilty only for my own reasons.
But am I going to stop taking a stand? No, but I would try to do it in a better way. By being my authentic self, I will make people self-reflect and show them the light. I will bring more people to this journey of self-reflection, but my purpose remains same.
While writing this post I had one more title in mind -“Life of a person who has never felt jealousy”. Since being a lightworker I have never experienced jealousy.
This is one more reason that I am always focused on my growth and never comparing myself to others. This is a skill that helps me become a better version of myself every day.
In the last three years of working on myself, 2 years went only in accepting that people can get so jealous and do something to harm others. It took me a long time to learn how does it feel to people who can feel jealousy. By the third year, I was already so traumatized that I used to be scared of people getting jealous. Because I just wanted peace, so I started dimming my light. That really put me into so much chaos, felt like God is asking me to stop doing it and then I decided to become my authentic self.
I have seen this whole my life ever since childhood, when I studying for IIT JEE, every time. Some negative people first admire you like anything. And then later they blame you for something stupid or probably enjoy your misfortune. This gives them relief from envy.
This is how big jealousy can get. I meet people every month who are highly jealous and try to trouble me or make fun of me or to traumatize me. They don’t help in time of need and be glad that I am facing some difficulty. This is the effect of jealousy, your soul level goes so low that you can not enjoy other soul being happy.
You can never be happy if you have jealousy in your heart. It burns you from the inside. It took me such a long time to understand all of this because I have never felt jealousy. Never to the point of trying to ruin someone’s life or wishing negative about them. Because I guess being an empath that’s not my nature or maybe because I see the big picture of life or could be because my soul power of purity is quite high relatively ( since I am a lightworker too).
Narcissists also try to make you feel jealous of themselves and others because jealousy is the core emotion they live in. They do it by showing off, trying to make you feel insecure and appreciating/flaunting other people around you. I have faced this so many times, every time I tried to analyse why this negative emotion of lack is rising and what it means, I reached only one conclusion that it’s a manipulation tactic and I didn’t have to do much to burry the emotion, it would just transform. Empaths can generate their own energy and transform the energy directed towards them. The only reason that I felt insecure to even a fraction was because I can absorb other’s energies or their projection upon me, it was never my original self.
Some people who are toxic, still ask me you would have done something, you deserved it, it was your mistake, why would so many people get jealous of only one person. Well I think it’s because probably I am a lightworker and knowing the fact that I got so harmed by others ( Lightworkers are meant to go to dark places, to spread light). Which in turn to a Narcissist will feel like why does she get so much attention from others, that also makes them jealous.
The right answer for why did people get jealous of me, I tried to figure it out for long time, I felt everyone was jealous of different things, but now I know the core. Jealousy is at the soul level, because I am a light being.
It’s not always positive attention that a Narcissist enjoys, but negative too. They want to be either the hero and grandiose or victim of everything, they don’t like someone else shining more than them.
Because I started connecting dots for whole my life, I started feeling like maybe it’s true that I am a lightworker. Since lightworkers have to deal with a lot of shit. Don’t worry my story is good. I always had little breakthroughs in some or the other form because I never gave up.
When you start shining in your authenticity. Some people start to admire you, but some people try to steal your shine. Like they try to paint the bulb black so it’s 70 Watts shine reduces to 40 Watts shine. But what if you keep turning it up to 100W then 200W. They are going to be like “oh, it’s too bright, it’s too bright, turn it down”. But when you don’t turn it down, they change their way.
Let the darkness fall out because of your light..never dim your light. Show the world your true shine.
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Thank you for reading it till the end. If you have any queries, let me know in the comment section.
Did something happen in your life, which was unexpected, which broke you down, which shattered you? A dream that looks farther to achieve, something or someone you loved moved away, suddenly your life took a turn which you never expected?
Remember the times, when you faced other big problems and grew through it. If you could overcome that, you are capable of overcoming this too. It’s tough, but you are tougher than your problems.
When life breaks you, it gives you a chance to be reborn. It’s your choice if you want to be miserable or strong.
Personally, whenever I faced a problem in my life, which was always bigger than the past problems I had gone through and I felt like life is over. But there was one thing, each problem just made me stronger, and it led me towards self-awareness and a higher consciousness.
“What shatters you, also has the power to re-make you.”
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Do you often call your friends and complain about how you don’t like your life much. It’s time to stop doing the same things over and over again, change your actions, change your thinking and hence change your life.
Acknowledge the fact that there is a choice. You have a choice to move if you don’t like where you are. Make that choice to change yourself, work deeply to understand life. Learn what it takes to be where you want to go, try and move.
Work on yourself, it’s hard and maybe it’s going to require a lot of time, but you need to start. Break out of your comfort zone. Don’t just go with the flow, because one day you will hit the rock bottom and then you are going to have to start the journey to self. There’s no escape for noone. Life always unfolds itself to you.
Never give up and move to a higher consciousness. When you work on yourself, you are going to find strong limiting beliefs, that you need to peel like an onion, layer by layer. And one day you would reach a point where there won’t be much left to move out of. You will the find true peace and blossom through out life.
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Only you are your rescue, no one else is.
-Lisa Nicols
I looked up to all my friends for solution to my problems and never found the solution. It was always with me, I just didn’t look at it.
Never look up to people to help you or save you. The one who can save yourself is only you, people can just give you a hand or support.
It’s only you who can do the inner work, only you can fix your life, only you who can solve all your problems.
You can do it.
Take the tough paths, make the brave choices or sometimes maybe the easy choices. Do what your heart says.
About me, I found a blessing in disguise. Now I know which friends are for lifetime.
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I am not asking the world for permission to shine my light anymore. I be my authentic self and I shine as I breathe.
I always knew that I had it in me, but I was trying to hide it thinking that the world won’t be able to accept me for being my true self, because of somethings. But now I am ready to be my authentic self and shine. I am not scared of being me and I am tired of settling in.
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Universe or any source of creation/god that you believe in, it always gives you what you need at that time to expand yourself, to experience life to the fullest.
Sometimes we think we want people, friends, love, success, goals, but we don’t get it. When we don’t get it, we ask why? But we only get what is actually required to make us a whole person.
I wanted to start my blog 2 years back, wanted to do exactly what I’m doing right now, but I know if I had started at that time, I won’t have become this confident person that I needed to be, to do what I am doing. Life made me the person I needed to become before I reach my finish line. It was painful but I am always grateful for my experiences. Because they make me, me, the person that I am today. I am happy and grateful and full of joy to explore more about life.
Always remember, if you didn’t get what you wanted, God has something better in store for you. Look at your failures and betrayals as lessons.
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I see Dr you
I see you all, I see all of it
I see you
I see what you are inside
I see you
I see you are not what you say
I see you
I see how insecure you are
I see you
I see how fearful you are
I see you
I see that you can’t see the good in me
I see you
I see the pain that you are in
I see you
I see the disgust you do to hide it
I see you
I see your inner demons coming for me
I see you
I see your shame and insecurities that you try to throw upon me
I see you
I see the pain that you want me to be in
I see you
I see the pain that you want to run away from
I see you
I see that you don’t know who you are
I see you
I see that what you do is a cry for love
I see you
I see the pain in this world
I see you
I see the need for love in this world
I see you
I see that someone has to stop hurting
I see you
I see that I need to end the pain
I see you
I see I can’t become a reflection of you
I see you
I see the need to find good in people
I see you
I see the need in this world for people like me
I see you
I see why you want to dim my light
I see you
I see why you hate me
I see you
I see that you are not able to love yourself
I see you
I see that I am here to share love
I see you
I see that I am here to spread light
I see you
I see that I am here to add hope
I see you
I see I am here to show the power of healing
I see you
I see that I was born for a purpose
I see you
I see that it’s time when I become my true self
I see you
I see I need to show the way to the world by being myself.
Painting courtesy @olechkadesign
If you like my work, please follow and share it with your friends. It means a lot to me, as I am beginner and need everyone’s support. Checkout my social media handles –
The Pretty Smart Techie 